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Jaylee you are slacking!

Jaylee wrote:

Jaylee you're a hoot!
I thought you were gonna keep everyone entertained while I studied? I sure could use some serious laughter tonight with the bad day at work! Only a few more days left and I'm outta there!

Today I had a note in my email that I had mail at a singles site that I belong to. I went and read the email it said. Hi OceanGoingGal!! I am single and I love to cruise. I am a nudist. I thought about that for a bit then I wrote back. Do you wear a bow tie on formal night?

Laura

OceanGoingGal wrote:Today I had a note in my email that I had mail at a singles site that I belong to. I went and read the email it said. Hi OceanGoingGal!! I am single and I love to cruise. I am a nudist. I thought about that for a bit then I wrote back. Do you wear a bow tie on formal night?

Laura

I am down in the dumps, lately. So I am not much fun, at the moment.

What's wrong, Girlfriend?

Oh, stupid weather had to be nice too soon, so my allergies have started in already. I dread spring. It is the worst time of year for me. I am on two allergy meds already, so there isn't much else I can do. You would think that the fact that I have a FFM mask would make this a non issue. However, even though I *can* breath through my mouth, doesn't mean that my body *wants* to breath through my mouth. So I end up waking up realizing that, hey, I am not able to breath through my nose. My AHI is still super, crazy low, so I guess I should stop complaining.

I am just not a fan of allergy season, when I feel like I am walking through life in that allergy medicine, sneezing all day, eyes watering constantly, kind of fog.

This is a first world problem, and I will be quiet now.

Jaylee, So sorry that your sinuses are making you feel so sick. I must be one of the lucky ones in that. I used to suffer in the spring and it got worse when I moved here. It seems one of the benefits of c-pap for me was that my sinus trouble has disappeared. I wish it were so for all. Feel better soon Jaylee.

Laura

Are there any decent men left on this whole planet? I mean, like, a nice guy who treats you with respect? I am having a heck of a time finding one.

Jaylee wrote:Are there any decent men left on this whole planet? I mean, like, a nice guy who treats you with respect? I am having a heck of a time finding one.

Sure there are, but you have to go through a lot of lousy ones for every good one you find. If you accept that you deserve a man that treats you well and meets the criteria you're looking for (you should know what you're looking for and the criteria should include, but not be limited to, someone who treats you with respect), you get faster at weeding people out quickly. If you are not sure how deserving of respect you are or what you're looking for in someone, and if you doubt that such a person exists or that he'd want you if he did, you tend to spend too much time with people who are inappropriate until you or they finally exit. In short, experience dating the wrong people makes you better at eliminating them faster in the future. Or so I found. (I think I ought to write a book about dating. Do you think anyone would buy a book called, "Sleeping Ugly's Guide to Dating"?!)

BTW, at the time I was dating, I was looking for some very specific things, but I wasn't sure I couldn't find them all in one person (and let's be reasonable, you can't have EVERYTHING you want, so you have to have a list of MUST HAVEs and IT WOULD BE NICE IF HE HADs). So if someone met some of my most important criteria, I could waste a lot of time trying to make the relationship work thinking that maybe this is close as I can get to what I want. Eventually the relationship would tank, and I'd have to move on. Ironically, the general TREND was that the men kept getting closer and closer to what I wanted, even though each time I was not entirely convinced that I could find another guy that would meet my criteria and I'd wonder if I should try to make it work with the one I had. Obviously this was a TREND and not every guy would be closer and closer to what I want, but the serious relationships tended to be.

But let me give you an example of what I would NOT put up with, no matter what (and this might seem relatively minor). Once in my mid-20's I dated this guy who met my "must have" criteria. I went out with him a couple of times, and one night he kissed me goodnight in the parking lot of my apartment complex, which was fine. I didn't invite him up, but I had no problem with guys in my apartment so I assume I had a reason why I didn't, although I don't remember what it was. It was not because I didn't like the guy--maybe I had to get up early, maybe I had work to do--I don't remember. But then he said, "Let's go up to your apartment". I assume I said no because then he more firmly said, "We're going to go up to your apartment". With those words, the relationship ended. No one was going to tell me what we were going to do. Deal breaker.

OK, end of TMI and disclosures by SleepingUgly. Bottom line: Know what you MUST HAVE, know what you would LIKE, and know what you won't put up with up. Even make a list of these things and put it in writing and refer to it frequently.

Jaylee wrote:Are there any decent men left on this whole planet? I mean, like, a nice guy who treats you with respect? I am having a heck of a time finding one.

Yes, Jaylee, there are. I found one later in life and at a time when I did not expect to. I think it is really important to respect yourself first and to KNOW how you will and will not allow yourself to be treated. I also think it is important to get to the point that you know, even though you might like to be with someone, that being with yourself is better than being with someone who does not value you enough to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
And by the way, lest I be misunderstood, I am not implying that you have any of the above issues...just talking about my own journey, for what it's worth.

That makes sense. I am going to make a list. Lists are good! Then if he doesn't meet the requirements, I wont feel so bad for moving on.

Jaylee, don't allow yourself feelings of desperaation. Singlehood is much better than a bad relationship.

M.D.Hosehead wrote:Jaylee, don't allow yourself feelings of desperaation. Singlehood is much better than a bad relationship.

I totally agree...........

Hang in there Jaylee.........look for happiness where you are at. Don't rely on someone else to make your life complete and happy.....you are complete in yourself. If someone comes along that adds to your life, and you to theirs...........then it's all the better!

I give great advice........now if I'd only follow it. The above is what I keep telling myself anyway.....