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I was a little embarassed when I first started with CPAP. I'd wait until my husband went to sleep to put it on. I got over it when I started to sleep so well and have great nights. Now I put it on in bed to watch t.v. because I often fall asleep doing that (still) and I feel terrible if I sleep without the CPAP even if it's just an hour or so. My sweet husband doesn't comment, other than to say he enjoys the fact that I am no longer snoring so he can sleep in bed next to me instead of on the couch.

I still don't schlep my CPAP out into the t.v. room for my weekend movie watching nap--I watch in bed now. Still a bit embarassed with my kids.

BlackSpinner wrote:
If anyone suggests that wearing a cpap mask is "undignified" - throw them out immediately - they don't have your best interest at heart and you are far better off without them.

I agree with this.

I remind myself that I look far more dignified in my bed on the hose than I would on the coronor's slab without it. And everything that everyone else said.


Marsha

elena88 wrote:

I had to stuggle with this when I got my CPAP and I am wondering how others have dealt with this.

Mary,

I think I do understand what you are talking about. It is as if you lost some of your autonomy, your self, that part of you who controlled
the little things you didnt even have to think about.. like BREATHING..
Now you need HELP breathing? Something most people dont think about, something most people do so many times a day and night and it
its just comes naturally.. But for us, it doesnt..
Because this is such an EASY no brainer task, and not be be able to do it properly anymore, can make one feel less than they were.
Its more than just looking in the mirror trying to adjust your mask, and thinking " this is an absolutely ridiculous contraption!"
Its that now you are different, mask or not, you are someone who needs help, and if you have been used to being independent and healthy, its
a hard to wrap your brain around it.. Part of what I would think of as "dignity" is getting over the denial that I need help.
Putting on the mask every night is the remimder that we cant get by without a "crutch" anymore.. but that "crutch" is there to save us,
not make us weaker.

So, to me, the loss of "dignity" is not so much a vanity issue, but an autonomy issue, a strength issue.. and we each adjust in our own time.

As we age we become aware that we are not all we once are, so be it. The idea that I would be able to inject my self with insulin three times a day or more, was a nightmare, but when it became a life and death matter for me, it no longer matters. Just like XPAP usage, it's a non-matter, just a small adjustment to get through another day. As a child I would have to fool myself into taking a pill by telling myself it was a green olive, now I take 35 a day some five at a time. In this world we have to learn to do what we have to to keep going, no sense crying about it, that's not productive. No what's right, and "Git UR Done"

Dignity or Vanity isn't something you lose, It's something you give away.

I will say if our problems come from our own poor life choices, then we have already gave away a lot of Dignity & Vanity. Jim

I hear what you are saying because I feel alot of people don't truly understand what us hoseheads have to go through. I have been on CPAP since 2002 and I sometimes feel like I am hidng a dirty little secret. Friends and family don't truly understand my situation and they dont take it as seriuos as I do. And for some reason, some of my family members make crude jokes or write it off as nothing. I sometimes wish I would'nt have to use CPAP but when it comes time for bed, I throw on that mask on, hit the on button and thank the Lord for giving me a machine that helps me breathe while I sleep. It takes alot of getting used to but if you can get past the stereotying, it gets easier.

Mary94523 wrote:I had to stuggle with this when I got my CPAP and I am wondering how others have dealt with this.

I did good I tell everyone I know. I can't multi-anything. What was I saying?

I second that!
Dignity is taking care of yourself, giving yourself the chance to continue living, enjoying the improved health that is within our reach.
It is not giving into a system full of corruption and obsolescence, while quietly crawling into a corner to die.
Dignity is accepting a challenge and doing your very best. --Because it matters to YOU!

At first I thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing, but once I felt a billion times better during the day I stopped giving a s**t

Even after all these years I would feel a bit awkward about someone new seeing me in my mask. I have no trouble saying I use it, but it's not necessary for everyone to see. I mean, I don't want just anyone to see me bra-less at bedtime either. But in looking for that silver lining, I tell myself the mask camouflages the shape shifting my face does at night.

Just looked up the meaning of dignity, and here's some thoughts on it...

---The quality or state of being worthy of esteem or respect---
Of all the times in my life that might have made my eligibility questionable, none were caused by anything or anyone outside myself.
---Inherent nobility and worth---
They who have life have value. It's a birthright.
---Poise and self-respect---
If it doesn't come natural, learn it!
---Stateliness and formality in manner and appearance---
A. Highly overrated, as is wearing uncomfortable shoes just because they look good.
B. Not relevant to the privacy of one's bedroom.
---The respect and honor associated with an important position---
I am, and that's enough.

Even so, I reckon I'll always feel a twinge of awkwardness about revealing personal matters. I'll never let it stop me from doing what I need to do for my own well being, but I'll feel it just the same. I can be very "screw what anybody thinks" about most things, but underneath, I guess I just bark a lot.

I've worn mine to Wal-Mart...nobody looked! They could care less. NOBODY cares!!! Get over it. BREATHE for once in your life. Get it? LIIIIIFE!!!!!!!

sagesteve wrote:I've worn mine to Wal-Mart...nobody looked! They could care less. NOBODY cares!!! Get over it. BREATHE for once in your life. Get it? LIIIIIFE!!!!!!!

I live right near 3 seniors complexes - one has to watch out or you get run over by them on their power tricycles with their oxygen nose masks and tiny dog leaning into the wind.

kteague wrote:Even after all these years I would feel a bit awkward about someone new seeing me in my mask. I have no trouble saying I use it, but it's not necessary for everyone to see. I mean, I don't want just anyone to see me bra-less at bedtime either. But in looking for that silver lining, I tell myself the mask camouflages the shape shifting my face does at night.

Just looked up the meaning of dignity, and here's some thoughts on it...

---The quality or state of being worthy of esteem or respect---
Of all the times in my life that might have made my eligibility questionable, none were caused by anything or anyone outside myself.
---Inherent nobility and worth---
They who have life have value. It's a birthright.
---Poise and self-respect---
If it doesn't come natural, learn it!
---Stateliness and formality in manner and appearance---
A. Highly overrated, as is wearing uncomfortable shoes just because they look good.
B. Not relevant to the privacy of one's bedroom.
---The respect and honor associated with an important position---
I am, and that's enough.

Even so, I reckon I'll always feel a twinge of awkwardness about revealing personal matters. I'll never let it stop me from doing what I need to do for my own well being, but I'll feel it just the same. I can be very "screw what anybody thinks" about most things, but underneath, I guess I just bark a lot.

It seems they are all associated with esteem or low self-esteem, lack of confidence. There is no pill for this. Nothing you can spray.

GumbyCT wrote:It seems they are all associated with esteem or low self-esteem, lack of confidence. There is no pill for this. Nothing you can spray.

Yep it is all about people manipulating you to do what they want you to do!

"I want to do ______" reponse: "Oh that is so undignified! what would the neighbours( family, friends, coworkers...) think!"

In other words "Stop rocking the boat and crawl back into your cage because I don't want to deal with it"

Try going to sleep without pyjamas on with clothespins attached to your ears. Wearing a CPAP mask will seem mild by comparison.

Let me say something here. Having spent almost a month in hospital in a Critical Care section I can assure you that your perception of dignity will change rapidly. Critical care is one step ABOVE the intensive care unit. You have a critical care nurse sitting at the bedside 24/7. You wear diapers and crap in your pants while you are in a coma. Your mask fit really doesn't matter because it is reefed down on your face so hard that blisters on your face are of little consequence.... it is the difference between life and death (and you are very close to the far side, believe me). The rooms are all glass walled and when they give you a 'bath' you think there is dignity? No siree. There is just a bit of cleanliness and prevention of flesh eating bedsores (that killed my cousin this year by the way). You are wired up like an F18 with veinous taps all the way up one arms and arterial taps all the way up the other. You are eventually intubated, have your lungs suctioned and torn to crap, forget how to even swallow your own spit so that they have to mop it up, have a catheter stuck up your wazoo, get fed by a tube and .... well, need I go on?

Dignity? Dignity is in the mind of the beholder and I can assure you with no measure of hesitation whatsoever, that wearing a nose pillow, nose mask or whatever and having a dead quiet XPAP machine at your own home bedside table has absolutely zero effect on your dignity.

You want proof? Go to bed this evening without a stitch of pyjamas or clothing on, crap in your bed and then have your friends and family come to visit you without acknowledging their presence or even opening your eyes. Have a rack of medical equipment and alarms going off every 3 minutes above your head. THEN and only then take a few minutes to think about YOUR dignity.

You may rest assured that the little CPAP machine and mask that you can squirrel away in your luggage when you travel has not the least bit of effect on your dignity. In fact, you may smile knowing that YOU ARE IN ON THE SECRET! YOU are going to live ten or twenty years longer than your compatriots who deny OSA and you are going to live healthier, fitter, better, smarter, etc. There is no loss of dignity in using CPAP. None.

Now, try getting that CPAP mask on your cat and you will see what loss of dignity is all about. Stock up on bandaids.

I occasionally see posts from people who feel that their CPAP makes them embarrassed or, as in this case, to feel undignified; and I am afraid that I can't figure out why. I can understand there being a problem if somebody, usually family members, doesn't understand the need for CPAP, but I don't understand people being embarrassed or feeling undignified because they use CPAP.