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I'm on morning 8 after CPAP therapy started. Actually slept from like 10:30 till about 6:20. Woke up once in the middle of the night. I didn't check my stats this morning.

As I was showing this morning, I made the startling revelation that I'll be on the hose probably for the rest of my life. I figure, statistically, if I lose some weight and take better care of myself, about 50% of my life is over.

Yeah. Just realized that this is not a short-term thing...

Not looking for sympathy (especially with the numbers I've been posting that many folks would crawl over broken glass to achieve). Just one of those "aha" moments that put things into perspective, that's all.

[quote="Roman Hokie"]
As I was showing this morning, I made the startling revelation that I'll be on the hose probably for the rest of my life. I figure, statistically, if I lose some weight and take better care of myself, about 50% of my life is over.

Roman,

This is why I try to live each day to the fullest that I can and do not sweat over things that I cannot control. Why worry and ruin the moment for something that could be many years away.

That should have been "As I was showERing this morning..."

My wife already asks me when the twins are due...

Thanks, Taz. Yeah, I generally do pretty well considering "tomorrow"'s fruits. Just got to thinking this morning was all.

Facing ones mortality is for sure one of those OH CRAP moments, but it makes you a better person.

Yeah, I had that realization at age 24... Was not too thrilled with it..

I'm getting better at dealing with the thought though. Especially when I think of how far the technology has advanced in just the last 6 years... Imagine when I'm 70! They will have spectacular cpap machines... I just know it!

There comes a point when we all are confronted with the harsh reality of our mortality. As Sleepy Taz said, enjoy what you have. Life is too short to worry about (even if you aren't on the hose).

Soon the hose and mask will be just another part of your routine. Once you get used to it and find your perfect mask it will gradually become less intrusive and no longer a novelty. Better to live a rich long life with a little inconvenience than to finish early but unencumbered.

I am rapidly approaching my 5 year mark (do we get a coin???) and my only wish is that I had started about 10-12 years sooner.

Roman Hokie wrote:I'm on morning 8 after CPAP therapy started. Actually slept from like 10:30 till about 6:20. Woke up once in the middle of the night. I didn't check my stats this morning.

As I was showing this morning, I made the startling revelation that I'll be on the hose probably for the rest of my life. I figure, statistically, if I lose some weight and take better care of myself, about 50% of my life is over.

Yeah. Just realized that this is not a short-term thing...

Not looking for sympathy (especially with the numbers I've been posting that many folks would crawl over broken glass to achieve). Just one of those "aha" moments that put things into perspective, that's all.

Know how you feel, my fellow Hokie. It is sobering for sure. I spent the first month or two of my therapy trying to figure out how to get out of this! Now I just practice acceptance.

You will eventually adjust and you wont even think about hosing up anymore. It just becomes so normal to you, like brushing your teeth.

Jaylee, that's funny. Or sad. It's not Saturday yet. I'll look for my toothbrush Friday night in preparation.

Speaking of teeth... isn't there a thread here that features a lot of happy, um, smiles?


I probably need to read up on the stages of acceptance that, IIRC, are somewhere in the CPAPWiki. Thanks for the support today. It has been helpful.

Roman you are doing great. I know initially its sometimes depressing thinking about using this for the rest of your life, I used to do the same.

But then i got to looking at the bigger picture, now i have two school friends dying of cancer and one of my wifes best friends got killed in a car wreck two weeks ago (leaving behind 3 kids under 5 years of age)

If hosing up is all i have to deal with in life I'll take it any day. I hope you get to looking forward to hosing up every night soon

I'm feeling the same way, but I use it as a stimulus to lose weight. Imagine facing dating someone with the hose machine!? How do you mention that? My therapist told me about 2 children who have to use cpaps, and it made me grateful that I had 39 years without the blessed thing. Of course, how long have I had this and how much better might my life have been if I had been on it? I'm still not feeling that euphoria I expected yet, but I was waking up like every hour and sleepwalking and all kinds of crazy things, so it takes time, and I think acceptance will come gradually. A lot of people are also on the machine. My therapist told me that he had 15 new clients lined up that day, and the dme shop only sells sleep apnea products, and I live in a small city, so a lot of people are in the same boat, and not only old people.

I'll be turning 42 around the time my son turns three. Trust me when I tell you that I've had that revelation many, many times.

I came to that realization recently I think it arrived with my first Social Securiiy deposit. Sort of scary at my age. I am determined that the rest of my life is going to be fun and meaningful to me.

Laura

Thank you, everyone.

I don't think I'm depressed over it, especially considering I seem to have more energy lately. Still not where I want to be, but improving, slowly. I think someone said that it might be 1-3 or even 6 months before I've "recovered what I lost" with regard to memory, sleep, concentration. Maybe longer, but I am noticing a difference - one day at a time.

I know depression well. We were soulmates for a while. Of course, sleep apnea may have caused that, too. I don't know.

As some folks have read, I'm in a Master's program for marriage and family therapy. I am beginning to see OSA entering into discussion as well. I'm sure lack of sleep (the OSA sufferer and his/her significant other) affects relationships.

And... the textbooks for the program suggest that all therapists should consider their own therapy (as clients) and some sort of consultation partnership with other therapists/counselors. "I'm not only the president, but I'm also a client." mentality.

Roman Hokie wrote:...I know depression well. We were soulmates for a while. Of course, sleep apnea may have caused that, too. I don't know.

It probably did.