Sleep Study Hell
(sung to the tune of the theme from "Gilligan's Island")
Just sit right down and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip
That started at a sleep center,
with a night time blip.
The tech was a handy wire man,
He hooked me up in style
A zillion wires were attached to me
For an eight hour trial.
An eight hour trial.
The evening started kinda strange
They ordered me to bed.
If not for the wires that kept me tied
I’d have run away instead.
I’d have run away instead.
The tech told me to try and sleep, turned out the light and left
With wired head
My ankle too
My belly strapped, and my chest
A
cpap thing
Mask on my nose, and a rubber
hose
Here in sleep study hell.
So this is the tale of my test from hell,
Was there for a long long time.
I’d have to try and sleep with this or
fail and lose my mind.
The first part was without a mask
To sleep the hours through
To see if I have this apnea thing
And snore like a fool.
No phones, no lights, no remote control,
No convenient place to pee
Like Frankenstein or a poor test rat
It’s a freaky way to be.
So lie right here and dare to sleep
Will they hear me if I yell,
All night in this godforsaken place
Here in sleep study hell.
(probably still needs fine-tuning)
Linda