Keeping Our Wonderful Forum a Great Place to Be

[Vader]

My vote, not that we're voting... .... is that the forum not have a moderator. Actually, it already does. Johnny Goodman of cpap.com can step in any time.

To his credit, imho, he pretty much lets the forum operate in a laissez faire manner. I think that's one of the biggest strengths of this forum, compared to other apnea boards I've participated in.

Amen to that.

I've been away from the forum a bit lately, but unless I've missed something extraordinary, I
can't see any good reason to have a moderator.
You know what they say, "if it ain't broke....."

[Goofproof]

On a side note: This forum already has a major flaw, just a single topic section. It needs to be divided up into sections. I'd also like to see that happen, especially considering the volume of posters/members.

Looking through just one forum (not divided into sections) is a major attraction of this one to me.

Amen RG !

Yes.

DSM

Agreed, This forum has a purpose, it's not just a mindless sandbox. Jim

[CollegeGirl]

Vader,

Just to start you missed these three:

viewtopic.php?t=18791
viewtopic.php?t=18928
viewtopic.php?t=18758

People have not been as nice around here as of late.

I agree that we need to maintain the same freedom. We need a moderator who only acts when he/she has to. That would NOT put any crimp in the way things work around here. There are different kinds of moderator - this one would only act if it was absolutely necessary, and only towards frequent offenders. If you act courteously, you have nothing to fear. That's why I don't really understand why people are so opposed.

[dsm]

One observation I want to make, is that it seems to me that in general we are getting better at steering deviations back onto the main path.

Be it the way we treat others ourselves or offering hints where needed that may alleviate tensions among others.

I have to confess that as my own therapy has improved, so has my ability to get less offended by others comments

I have long wondered if there is a direct corelation. If there is then we need to be all the more tolerant to those showing negative facets of forum etiquette, but to remind folk what a great place this forum is & how we mostly want to keep it that way.

DSM

[blarg]

Currently I'm loving the Mic thread. If this keeps up I might even have to change my mind about needing a moderator.

[Guest]

If you act courteously, you have nothing to fear. That's why I don't really understand why people are so opposed.

Speaking for myself, I don't think anyone has anything to "FEAR", but in my experience when you have a moderator "policing" a board, the quality of discussion doesn't necessarily go up.

I didn't really see anything warranting a change based on the linked examples that you provided, but since you asked.... I think you may have overreacted a wee bit in your exchange with WillSuceed. In that case, a moderator may very well have decided aqainst your comments. I hope you don't get offended but that's just the way I saw it. Sometimes we all need to lighten up a bit.

[Vader]

oops!

The above post was mine...


- Vader

[CollegeGirl]

Vader,

I expressed a genuine concern for his health and wellbeing. His demeanor has changed over the last several months, to the point where several people have commented on it. Significant changes in behavior/personality can be indicative of serious medical issues. And if you go back through posts he has made in reference to mine, the vast majority have had a condescending tone or sarcasm. Sometimes more deeply embedded than others...but still there. That was the only reason I made that comment. I had not commented on the change in his personality earlier, because, frankly, I have been afraid to post anything at all around him thanks to his responses. I have ignored them for the most part, but his comments just got worse and worse, culminating in the nice little love note at the end of that thread. It probably appeared an overreaction based on that one thread, but there was quite a bit of history behind it. If a moderator had felt the need to slap me on the wrist for worrying about a fellow forum member's health, I would have accepted that. My posts here are, as I think many people would agree, for the most part positive and helpful, and I would absolutely want a moderator to go with his/her gut and reprimand me just as they would anyone else.

[dsm]

Vader,

I expressed a genuine concern for his health and wellbeing. His demeanor has changed over the last several months, to the point where several people have commented on it. Significant changes in behavior/personality can be indicative of serious medical issues. And if you go back through posts he has made in reference to mine, the vast majority have had a condescending tone or sarcasm. Sometimes more deeply embedded than others...but still there. That was the only reason I made that comment. I had not commented on the change in his personality earlier, because, frankly, I have been afraid to post anything at all around him thanks to his responses. I have ignored them for the most part, but his comments just got worse and worse, culminating in the nice little love note at the end of that thread. It probably appeared an overreaction based on that one thread, but there was quite a bit of history behind it. If a moderator had felt the need to slap me on the wrist for worrying about a fellow forum member's health, I would have accepted that. My posts here are, as I think many people would agree, for the most part positive and helpful, and I would absolutely want a moderator to go with his/her gut and reprimand me just as they would anyone else.

Vader,

I believe CG's comments were genuine and well intended. I believe we can see changes in regulars for better and for worse. The difficuly when there is any negativity is how do you say something without complicating the exchange.

That is very difficult.

DSM

#2

What I guess I am really saying here is I believe I saw the same thing CG did in regard to the person mentioned. Someone I always saw as very precise and who I regarded well suddenly appearing to see things in others (like moi) that really weren't there (certainly IMHO in regard to moi ) - so, I was on the receiving end of a number of odd posts from Will & all I could do was take the blows & avoid any retaliation, just try to be very polite. I concluded that maybe things weren't going well for him. I would genuinely like to have been able to offer support but didn't even try. So I believe I understand what CG has said and I think it was to her credit that she tried to reach out but it didn't work.

[hades161]

I have been lax of late on the boards. I stop in here and there and did see a little bit of the hard edge comments. I am not in favor of a moderator at this time unless the forums fights go ultra personal. No, I don't mean in posts or PMs but in Real Life. Emails directly to people at addresses given in trust or worse types of RL personal attacks. Until that point is hit I see no reason not to let people express themselves good or bad freely. If it ever crosses that line I will be first in line asking for moderation.

Part of supporting people and the things they are going through are to take the good with the bad. OSA can be scary, frustrating, depressing, and most of all, life destroying. People need a place they can come to and get help and understanding even if they are not the happiest camper on the block. This forum has given me personally, more understanding then my doctors, family, and most of my RL friends. I feel that a moderator might change that. If one person comes to this board feeling as frustrated and hopeless as many of us has in the past, vents it and gets moderated? To me thats more damaging to the board then a few cranky S.O.Bs could ever be.

I am not saying we should let people beat each other up but more try to be positive and guide them until they have vented and got past all the frustration of the crap we experience with treating OSA and everything else that comes with it. I think for the most part this forum does that.

Ultimately we each have to deside for outselves how we feel about the poster and deal with them as we see fit. Sometimes there are persons who are difficult, but even they can bring something to the forums and if one person learns something through it all then its worth it. Even a difficult person can change with the right support and maybe they need help more then most?

I have known people at times in my life that were about as friendly as a rusty broken straight razor accross the face, but I still learned plenty from them and once I got past that, most of them were pretty good people =)

[blarg]

Emails directly to people at addresses given in trust or worse types of RL personal attacks. Until that point is hit I see no reason not to let people express themselves good or bad freely. If it ever crosses that line I will be first in line asking for moderation.

At that point I'd say it's gone WAY too far and any hope of preventing a problem is down the drain. I guess I'm just saying if it ever goes there, we're far too late.

[hades161]

That is true Blarg but that's the risk of being part of a free forum. These things can still happen even with a moderator as well. There is always a risk to things, the safest thing we could all do is simply not post on a forum or expose ourselves but then how can we get help or help others? I am of the opinion at this time that it is better to try it freely and hope for the best. Then to moderate and maybe put people off from support and information they really do need.

[Lyza]

Why not just come on out and say it. There are at least 2 or 3 people here who just really chap your ass girl. Your links directly indicate those people. And those of us with any brains and sense of humor probably already know the 'so called' troublemakers.

We don't need a moderator. Yea people get slammed occasionally, but if its true advice they are seeking about helping their therapy, someone will drift thru it all and end up PM'ing them with offers of advice. Or a true noob, that has done their homework and been reading thru the posts will realize the longtime 'good' peeps here that they will feel comfortable in PM'ing about asking questions. I know I have, and have wonderful help and responses.

Bottom line, someone irks you to the point you just can't handle it, send them a PM and tell them how it is. This is the internet, thats how it works. Or just let it go, you can't protect everyone, all the newbies.. Unless they are completely new to computers and the internet, they've come across this before and should already know what to expect/ what to do.

My 2Cents of the Day.

[Moby]

Lyza wrote:

Unless they are completely new to computers and the internet, they've come across this before and should already know what to expect/ what to do.

I found this a useful and amusing site for labelling the sort of behaviour we all resort to at times on the net. I definitely found some of my responses described here.

http://redwing.hutman.net/%7Emreed/Assets/burn.gif

Di

[Moby]

sorry, didn't get the link right.
here tis (i hope)
http://redwing.hutman.net/%7Emreed/index.htm