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Don't assume you know what's wrong! by kteague

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I remember Kathy, could not keep her mask on. Just another thought.

It's not that my wife can't keep her mask on. She's never had it on long enough for the machine to auto-start!

I'm trying to keep a cool and loving heart about it. Like I said before, I refuse to discuss this with her at night, since she gets extremely irritable about it, we yell for a bit, and I ultimately end up sleeping ont eh couch for a few hours. Its hard, but I am honestly trying my best to not raise my voice to her late at night.

bob,
i know you are, i believe that...but, maybe you're just in it way too much...it's hers, not yours, and a pissing contest never did anyone any good...i reiterate my earlier humble suggestion...leave it completely alone, it's her decision to make and no amount of cajoling, coaxing, yelling, pleading, begging, fighting and couch sleeping is going to make her do something she is not committed to doing...and by now she has dug her heels in so far, it may be hard for her to dig them back out while saving face at the same time...i would honestly say your best recourse is to say, "honey, i love you, your health is of paramount importance to me, but you own this problem and you need to own your solution" and let that be the end of it...trust me...(again, in my humble opinion, you are free to tell me to myob)

best to you, bob
sharon

I agree with Sharon. You know the old saying "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink" That may be even harder if its a mule! LOL
Just let her be, she is an adult and ultimately has to be responsible. You take care of you.
Have you ever thought that maybe she likes the attention she gets from you. Kinda like a bad child. They know you care even if your scolding. Just act like her machine doesn't exist. She will either come around or she won't.

I understand, Sharon. I really should back completely away from this, no questions asked, and no matter what the wife may say. I am guessing that it won't happen that way in reality, but I will try to keep out of it as much as is humanly possible.

I am guessing that it won't happen that way in reality, but I will try to keep out of it as much as is humanly possible.

do, or do not...there is no try

oops, sorry, that wasn't me, that was yoda

seriously, best of luck to you and your wife, bob

Bob,

I truly understand where you're at but I do have to agree with Sharon. My hubby has bad circulation. So much so that he's currently being treated for a leg ulcer. The doctor (and me) finally convinced him to order a pair of compression socks (he's 6'5" with long legs so they don't carry his size in the store). When he was measured, they found thta there's one full inch difference in circumference between his left and right ankle. That's how bad his circulation is in his left leg -- and that measurement was first thing in the morning! But just as I've stopped nagging him about doing the "legs up the wall" exercise that was recommended to him, I'll have to show support but not nag him about wearing the damned socks. It's so hard because I love him and I don't want him having blood clots and worse but he's 51 years old.

Hang in there.
France

Ladies,

I get your point. I did not mention the machine once last night, after I got home from work, and no arguments! So I believe, as you suggest, the best response to my wife is none at all.

bob
be kind to yourself, you sound like a good guy
i hope this all resolves for both of you, because i'm sure there's more to your relationship than cpap compliance or lack of...
take care
sharon

Quick update -

The wife and I barely discuss her CPAP any more, and she is learning to deal with our DME (Apria) and our sleep center about her mask. She needs to do something, since they will be expecting her to have some data on her machine when she goes back to them this coming Monday.

Hi Bob,

I feel for you and your wife.

I wsh your wife good luck dealing with Apria.

Thanks for the update.

BobF4 wrote:Quick update -

The wife and I barely discuss her CPAP any more, and she is learning to deal with our DME (Apria) and our sleep center about her mask. She needs to do something, since they will be expecting her to have some data on her machine when she goes back to them this coming Monday.

Self,

Thanks! I've never had an issue with Apria (been dealing with them for the 4+ years I've had my CPAP with no issues). My wife seems to be getting the runaround from them about switching her mask. The Apria rep at our sleep center says to turn up the humidifier. One slight problem with that, however. Her humidifer is already set at 5, its highest setting! He seems to be stonewalling us on switching the mask, until the 30 day MBG expires, IMO.

Why turn up humidifier?

I would be emailing them or registered letter, about the need to change mask. If they are not letting her in to change and time is running out, she will be stuck with it. As you well know.

Once again good luck.

BobF4 wrote:Self,

Thanks! I've never had an issue with Apria (been dealing with them for the 4+ years I've had my CPAP with no issues). My wife seems to be getting the runaround from them about switching her mask. The Apria rep at our sleep center says to turn up the humidifier. One slight problem with that, however. Her humidifer is already set at 5, its highest setting! He seems to be stonewalling us on switching the mask, until the 30 day MBG expires, IMO.

I know, I didn't understand that one either. Especially when the problem with her mask comes when she puts it on, at which point she immediately rips it off.

If Apria won't take care of the mask issue she needs to call the insurance company and let them know. Most large insurances have an Apria rep on site to handle these things. She needs to contact the insurance before her 30 days runs out. If she fails with treatment Apria gets a hard time from the insurance.


Brenda