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This is a portion of a email I received from "Apple", thanking me for my order of 'diamonds'. All I had to do was send them a down payment of $2,500, with the balance of $7,500 to be paid in monthly installments, and they would send my diamonds out immediately.

This was a new one, at least for me. I usually just get calls from the 'IRS'.


Dear Costumers,

Thank you for your order
You can view your order and download Invoice in the form (PDF) we have provided, and confirm or cancel your payment that you have purchased, please do we wait within 24 hours.
Sincerely,

Apple

Lucyhere wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 30, 2018 2:23 pm

This is a portion of a email I received from "Apple", thanking me for my order of 'diamonds'. All I had to do was send them a down payment of $2,500, with the balance of $7,500 to be paid in monthly installments, and they would send my diamonds out immediately.

This was a new one, at least for me. I usually just get calls from the 'IRS'.


Dear Costumers,

Thank you for your order
You can view your order and download Invoice in the form (PDF) we have provided, and confirm or cancel your payment that you have purchased, please do we wait within 24 hours.
Sincerely,

Apple

OK, English is not their first language.

Do you wear costumes (Costumers)?
"please do we wait within 24 hours." or do we not wait within 24 hours?

We keep a landline for emergencies only. The cell phones did NOT really work in last year's fires--and won't in the case of earthquakes or other natural disasters.

There is an answering machine, but we rarely check messages anymore and we don't answer that phone (however, that's the way they were SUPPOSED to warn people to evacuate, not sure I would have answered it at 2 a.m.).

Anyway, my message says "We are not available to take your call. If you know us, then call us on our cell phones. If you don't know us, leave a message and maybe we will call you back."

Janknitz wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 30, 2018 2:53 pm

Anyway, my message says "We are not available to take your call. If you know us, then call us on our cell phones. If you don't know us, leave a message and maybe we will call you back."

I love this, Janknitz!
I'm going to try to do a take on this!

Years and years ago, because I didn't want to pay the premium for unlisted, I made up a very funny porn name for the phonebook. It still makes me giggle from time to time particularly when it's been a few years since I've heard someone say it.

I got TWO such calls today. It's even funnier when they barely speak English.

...today I just hung up ... but when I have high energy I sometimes make it a game to try and get the person to QUIT that horrible job and go do something with their life that does something positive for the world.

I honestly believe I've succeeded a few times. Not by shaming, of course ... but by realizing it is a human and not a robot, and as such ... if I can reach the human ... make them break the script ... I have a good chance.

WOW ... it's been a while since I had that kind of energy to burn.

Just sign up for NoMoRobo and you get No Mo of those calls.

PaulKTF wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 30, 2018 3:24 pm

Just sign up for NoMoRobo and you get No Mo of those calls.

That may be true for you, but not for me. I don't know why I signed up... I get just as many calls, if not more, on my land line. Cell phone... not as many.

ah yes the scammers... I play along on the days that I'm bored and of course I go over the top on the conversation. I act stupid, I act like I don't understand and it frustrates them and then they hang up.

I should record the convo next time...

Over 20 years ago I had a fun greeting message I left on my answering machine, first spoken backwards, then spoken forwards, that said "Forwards or backwards, it sounds the same, so please just leave a message with your name, thank you!"

That weirded out enough people that very few people left messages, regardless of whether they were telemarketers: it didn't stay up too long because of that

Snoregone Conclusion wrote: ↑

Sat Dec 01, 2018 8:51 pm

Over 20 years ago I had a fun greeting message I left on my answering machine, first spoken backwards, then spoken forwards, that said "Forwards or backwards, it sounds the same, so please just leave a message with your name, thank you!"

That weirded out enough people that very few people left messages, regardless of whether they were telemarketers: it didn't stay up too long because of that

Many years ago, with my first answering machine, I recorded the "do DO DOOOO, the number you have reached is not a working number...." then one day I answered it, and it was the phone company... "DON'T HANG UP! PLEASE, you're having problems on your line!'... regretfully, I changed my answering machine message.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWIwlfo9_OM

Worth a look and a laugh.

..and this is even better

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QdPW8JrYzQ

Years ago, people would call for my mom, and not realize that it was me or my sister who answered. They would start chatting away, and we would have to let them know that we were not her. So, we fixed that problem. My sister and I recorded a new outgoing message that we did together.

Hi, We're the daughters of ___ and _____. They're not here, and we're not here. Please leave a message at the beep. Thank you!

After that, people started asking, "Is ___ there?"

Years and years ago, because I didn't want to pay the premium for unlisted, I made up a very funny porn name for the phonebook. It still makes me giggle from time to time particularly when it's been a few years since I've heard someone say it.

Years ago we lived on the Big Island of Hawaii. Sometimes several times every day I would get calls for "Reynaldo," usually from women with very heavy Filipino accents. Often when I answered the phone directly the female callers didn't have sufficient English skills to understand my "wrong number" response and they'd call back several times. Or they would leave long messages on the answering machine.

I conjured up all sorts of amusing stories in my head about why these women were calling Reynaldo--it was a regular topic of conversation at dinner (since that's often when the calls occurred).

Luckily it's a small community there, and I finally learned that Reynaldo--who had that number before we did-- was a piano teacher who spoke one of the Filipino dialects, and these were moms calling to cancel or change their child's lesson schedule. Ruined all my fun.

We had been married less than one year when we moved to a small town in central Missouri. I was in the military and on base all day and often much of the night. We kept getting calls for various women at all hours of the day and night. It turned out we ended up with the old phone of the local house of ill-repute. If something like this happened now, we would have a lot of fun with it than we did then. Back then my wife would hardly say more than two or three words to someone if she didn't know them.

Our first land line (1968) was only one digit away from a sorority house.
After numerous calls asking to speak to (various girls' names),
we would answer with outrageous excuses.
[[[We even told one girl's grandma that she had dropped out of college to get married]]]
Eventually, we called the sorority, who had put the wrong number on a letter to parents.
They promptly sent out a correction letter.