CPAPtalk.com

LSAT wrote:

ckeith wrote:
I thought you said "goodbye"! Why are you still here? Miss us?
.

chunkyfrog wrote: Thank you, LSAT, for quoting the latest angry, barely intelligible,
mentally disturbed, RANT.Oh, look! --a CRICKET! Yummy!

ckeith wrote:I find it Intolerable !

Right now I feel the only place I can start with my New CPAP machine is to jump up and down on it
I am told that I can't sell the thing on ebay -

People who know me say they appreciate me as a nice calm fellow, nice to be around
I have never been one who is susceptible to temper tantrums or Irrational Rage - at least - NOT until now !

I have recently had a heart valve job and I presently suffer from Atrial Fibrillation and so have been prescribed Apixaban, a blood thinner
I have recently been enduring Chronic Insomnia that seemed to be quickly worsening, so the Doctor recommended a sleep study
The diagnosis was a "Severe Sleep Apnea" Oxegen level drops to 78%, and so a CPAP machine was prescribed

I can't stand it ! - The damded thing sends me into a RAGE ! - I can hardly refrain from jumping up and down on the OFFENCE
I can feel the adrenalin surge, Blood Pressure and Heart Rate go through the roof ! - I'll end up in an ambulance to get
Zapped by the Paddles again, in order to DeFib me at this rate!

I can't sleep Now ! - I get about two hours a night - How in HELL can I be expected to sleep with an INVASIVE Appliance
strapped to my head, that is constantly Blowing AIR up my nose ! - NO WAY on God's Blue Marble !!! -
How can anybody adapt to this THING! - I feel myself incapable. It's like asking me to climb a mountain with roller skates on !

It seems so bloody Stupid to me ! - So counter intuitive !!! -
"Here clamp this thing on, let it blow air up your nose - pleasant dreams !" HA HA HA

I sleep on my side and move around a lot - It blows air all over my face - I can't endure for moire than 5 min. Let alone sleep with it !
I have an appointment with the Sleep Specialist - I expect he will recommend a different mask - I am skeptical

I KNOW I need to control this Apnea - I can't see how it is possible with THAT #@*!%^& THING - getting desperate

Casper62 wrote: ^^ Exhibit A ^^

ckeith wrote:Thanking Friends Again - for their Encouragement & Guidance

ckeith wrote: Dropped a 1/2 Mogadon & Hooked up to CPAP around 10:40pm
I figured my ear would pop again and I would have to come off

Surprise, SURPRIZE ! - I konked out ! - I actually fell asleep !
Woke up around 12:30am - stuck with it & fell asleep again !!

Woke up again around 1:40am - That was it - No more tonight
Unhooked around 3:30 am

Usage says I had 4:50 hrs - Events say 0.4 - leaks are smiles


Bottom Line - I actually got to sleep on the CPAP for a while !
Actual PROGRESS - I'll get up & read for a couple of hours
................................................... then hook up again

ckeith wrote: Re Synesthesia - A Blessed Curse - A Cursed Blessing
I will say this & then I will speak no more of it
I will try to find ways to mitigate the bother it causes you

BUT
It is the way I THINK - the way I PERCEIVE
Words are NOT just Words - Sounds are NOT just Sounds
Even Shapes, Size, Intensities, are all pregnant with Felt Meanings

In an unfiltered reality the sensory modalities are Combined
Unitary/Mixed - PARADOXICAL - & they come at you like that -
When I speak or write I can't be trying to filter things out - to be separating them
When I speak the Synesthetic experience is mine - When I write it becomes to some
........................................................................ small extent - HARD COPY

It is One of the reasons -
That whenever I - 'quote' - or post - I have keep the lines Short

I'll tell you this - When I was in school I had one Hell of a time - I got hammered a Lot

ckeith wrote: Well to bow out as Gracefully as possible.

Heartfelt THANKS to those of you who have offered me your Good Advice, Understanding
........................................................ & some strong measure of your Compassion -

Coming here, I was admittedly fogged & confused with weeks of Insomnia. Allowed only an odd few
hours rest here and there. I saw no Hope that I could ever adapt to CPAP and was very Angry about
........................................................ what was becoming a very Fast devolving situation -

Leaving here - I have had two nights sleep and I am able to tolerate my CPAP machine and have every
hope & chance at recovery - To those who gave me this GIFT - You must know that Iam Grateful
....................................................................................... It has been Saving GRACE

------------------------------------

I am however sorry & saddened that the many here that have take such strong Offence, as to Who I am,
and how I express myself , They take such an Irrational revulsion that they tell me I am deserving of
being defined as their FOE , their Enemy , I am to become - 'the despised pariah ' worthy only to be IGNORED -
Yet where he can be easily Sniped at from behind their button

Indeed they have found me to be SO Offensive to their sensibilities that they have found it appropriate
to subject me to their Abuse, Ridicule & Epithet - Whiner, Drama Queen, Grow a Couple, Pretentious
Girl in Jr High, and even likened to an Alcoholic Blob ! - One deeming himself the Palerider, even choosing to
extend his pointed Ridicule at me while Cowardly hiding behind his FOE button - I cannot help but
take these INSULTS very personally

I know that I am none of these things - I am a person Who for reasons of how I perceive my World, expresses
himself in an Unconventional manner - I do not swear at you - I do not Abuse you - When attacked,
I may parry the blow - What is it that I do to elicit such venomous Opprobrium ?- What is my Crime ?
I format my posts I use Caps, Italics, Underline etc etc

I give notice that I refuse to reciprocate, to their attacks and so quit this place - This is a place where
people seek and FIND help - I know, as I found it here myself -I will not sully this forum with what could
easily become an ongoing Feud & Troll War, full of rhetorical smart Ass rebuttal & counter blow

I tell you this - In most ways I am like anybody else - to a large extent a Person Who is defined by how he
expresses himself, and how he acts upon those expressions. -

I sincerely hope many of these people who thought that they had found an easy MARK come to realize
this FACT and come to comprehend just how it is that they have defined Themselves, by how they have
expressed themselves & acted when presented with something, or someone that does NOT meet with
the MYOPIC standard of their Ordinary -

I hope they come to appreciate human diversity rather than be threatened by it


I am Who I am -
I express myself in the way Ido because of Who & what I am - A Synesthete - I know that I am different -
& believe me & know how that places me into the context of " The Stanger in a Strange Land' and how that
opens me to the blows of the Hammer , spoken in the Japanese Proverb mentioned earlier


I am who I am - And I am glad of Who I am - And I will not allow myself to be demeaned by Irrational
INSULT & Ridicule - I will NOT submit to the measure of their Ruler

I will not stay where I am made to feel so Unwelcome that I am to be defined as FOE &I 'Despised Pariah'
due to that Iact that you feel that I overly Format my posts.


Don't worry - The door will not hit me as I EXIT - & I will shake the dust off my boots as I leave

Grace~~~ wrote:ckeith ...*you* OWN

&

I think most people have their own style of formatting?
Have you shared your breath shapes snippet here with your friends at cpaptalk?

(breath shapes in Flow Rate are *my* current obsession!)

Sleepyhead, "Flow Rate~~~"?
I'd L VE to see y our ideas of
what you think breath shapes look like. (to *your* E y E) Ya know?

ckeith wrote:
Query ?
I know nothing of breath shapes nor of Sleepyhead, "Flow Rate ? - What be they ?

I have never been given the use of any software and am still recovering
from the residual effects of the Heart Attacks & the Insomnia

The CPAP machine and the HELP I found here probably saved me - still recovering
Just to bad about the CROWS

.

Gasper62 wrote: Dear God ! How long does it take you to type up a page full of ridiculous bullshit like that ^ ^ ?
Nothing better to do with your time ? Off yer psych meds perhaps ?

ckeith wrote:

Gasper62 wrote: Dear God ! How long does it take you to type up a page full of ridiculous bullshit like that ^ ^ ?
Nothing better to do with your time ? Off yer psych meds perhaps ?

I'm a fast typist & I know the codes
& it's fun keeping track of the Sizes, Shapes & Colors dancing in my mind bringing just some of them to life
.............................. I do not speak in a Brain Dead monotone - I do not intent to write or dialogue in one

But Why should you care ? - Why should it so bother you ? - That you should feel it necessary to Insult me ?
Is it that you are so weak minded that you are unable to tolerate any thing outside of your Ordinary purview ?

Or is it that you are so bottomed out PAROCHIAL and cannot fathom or appreciate the FACT that everybody
is not an Atavistic Throwback who must challenge his own deeply felt insufficiency's by throwing out Insult ?

The little cartoon you have chosen as your Avatar says a Lot about you Casper You have chosen Well
....................................................................................................Gasp & Choke on that for a while

.

Gasper62 wrote: Not that I intend to impugn your intent, but..... in view of your incorrect spelling and misuse of words ......
I have to ask....did you learn (not learn) that in a Parochial School specializing in insufficiencies for the
mentally deficient ? Were you a short bus window licker by any chance ? I suspect you were.

Off to the Bozo (Foe) List for you, you've become tiresome and much too petty. AMF.

Julie wrote:Guys, enough already... this is a CPAP forum, not a BS forum. If you can't stick to the subject find a forum that suits you better.