CPAPtalk.com

leptic wrote:I think our last counsellor was pretty traumatized...

Been there done that ... counsellors and all.

After two divorces, the only thing I found that counsellors (both marriage and legal) are good for is taking your money.

If you can't work it out between yourselves, expecting somebody else to do it for you in exchange for your money isn't going to work either ... IMO and personal experience.

Sorry. Probably not what you wanted to hear and I know exactly how much the D word sucks and hurts .... but just like the illnesses that we manage to survive, we become stronger and smarter about our lives.

The only other thing I can say from personal experience is that without your health, nothing else really matters (not love, family, career, knowledge, or wealth of any kind).

Hoping everything works out for you -- one way or the other, take care buddy.

DreamStalker wrote:

leptic wrote:I think our last counsellor was pretty traumatized...

Been there done that ... counsellors and all.

After two divorces, the only thing I found that counsellors (both marriage and legal) are good for is taking your money.

If you can't work it out between yourselves, expecting somebody else to do it for you in exchange for your money isn't going to work either ... IMO and personal experience.

Sorry. Probably not what you wanted to hear and I know exactly how much the D word sucks and hurts .... but just like the illnesses that we manage to survive, we become stronger and smarter about our lives.

The only other thing I can say from personal experience is that without your health, nothing else really matters (not love, family, career, knowledge, or wealth of any kind).

Hoping everything works out for you -- one way or the other, take care buddy.

Thanks - have indeed been through every level of professional intervention. Pretty much everyone in the family is doing some kind of therapy, except for the one who really needs it. I should not really be airing this crap on the forum, as it is way too off topic now. Will keep posting stuff that's relevant to keto, but otherwise won't get into how my wife has announced that we're having pasta tonight and I'm eating carbs again. D'oh!!! I did it again!

leptic wrote: but otherwise won't get into how my wife has announced that we're having pasta tonight and I'm eating carbs again. D'oh!!! I did it again!

tell the bitch to fuck off, and go have a bunless hamburger

DreamStalker wrote: The only other thing I can say from personal experience is that without your health, nothing else really matters (not love, family, career, knowledge, or wealth of any kind).

Your experience or not, that's way too simplistic... try telling Stephen Hawking that crap

Sir NoddinOff wrote:

DreamStalker wrote: The only other thing I can say from personal experience is that without your health, nothing else really matters (not love, family, career, knowledge, or wealth of any kind).

Your experience or not, that's way too simplistic... try telling Stephen Hawking that crap

I doubt he put his health second. I doubt he let someone else tell him what he should be eating ect when he had chosen his own course.

leptic wrote:
Will keep posting stuff that's relevant to keto, but otherwise won't get into how my wife has announced that we're having pasta tonight and I'm eating carbs again. D'oh!!! I did it again!

Go out and buy a bag of mixed salad, creamy salad dressing, some precooked chicken strips (not breaded) and cheese and make your own dinner. Refuse to engage in discussions about food or health issues.

BlackSpinner wrote:

Sir NoddinOff wrote:

DreamStalker wrote: The only other thing I can say from personal experience is that without your health, nothing else really matters (not love, family, career, knowledge, or wealth of any kind).

Your experience or not, that's way too simplistic... try telling Stephen Hawking that crap

I doubt he put his health second. I doubt he let someone else tell him what he should be eating ect when he had chosen his own course.

I *think* SNO is referring to the idea that Stephen Hawking may think that there are more important things than health, like the cosmos, physics, life's work, enhancing humanity's knowledge.

many scientists who've experimented on themselves might agree

Leptic, I know you are trying to do the hard core keto thing, but maybe you could ease your wife in that direction by adopting a "whole foods" diet first. Which isn't really a diet, it's just eating a little smarter. See if you can get her to see the wisdom of giving up processed and refined foods (most anything that comes with a label in a box, bottle, or can). Shop the outside aisles of grocery store for fresh fruit, vegetables, meats and maybe a little dairy. Choose high fiber low sugar fruits sparingly and above ground vegies. If the wife wants potatoes, suggest sweet potatoes. You won't go into ketosis, but you will lower your over all carb intake and high glycemic load foods automatically - which should result in weight loss, a fairly rapid drop in serum triglycerides.and an improvement in BG level. Once on this "diet, it would be pretty easy to move on to Keto-Ville just by eating less or none of the carbs on the table while your wife could remain in Real-Food-Ville by continuing to eat them. She might not even notice you didn't eat any of the potatoes.

palerider wrote:

BlackSpinner wrote:

Sir NoddinOff wrote:

DreamStalker wrote: The only other thing I can say from personal experience is that without your health, nothing else really matters (not love, family, career, knowledge, or wealth of any kind).

Your experience or not, that's way too simplistic... try telling Stephen Hawking that crap

I doubt he put his health second. I doubt he let someone else tell him what he should be eating ect when he had chosen his own course.

I *think* SNO is referring to the idea that Stephen Hawking may think that there are more important things than health, like the cosmos, physics, life's work, enhancing humanity's knowledge.

many scientists who've experimented on themselves might agree

That's exactly what I meant palerider... thanks for illuminating it so well. Humans adapt, adversity be damned. I generally like Dreamstalker's posts but in this case his statement got a little sloppy for me to let it slide.

Jay Aitchsee wrote:Leptic, I know you are trying to do the hard core keto thing, but maybe you could ease your wife in that direction by adopting a "whole foods" diet first. Which isn't really a diet, it's just eating a little smarter. See if you can get her to see the wisdom of giving up processed and refined foods (most anything that comes with a label in a box, bottle, or can). Shop the outside aisles of grocery store for fresh fruit, vegetables, meats and maybe a little dairy. Choose high fiber low sugar fruits sparingly and above ground vegies. If the wife wants potatoes, suggest sweet potatoes. You won't go into ketosis, but you will lower your over all carb intake and high glycemic load foods automatically - which should result in weight loss, a fairly rapid drop in serum triglycerides.and an improvement in BG level. Once on this "diet, it would be pretty easy to move on to Keto-Ville just by eating less or none of the carbs on the table while your wife could remain in Real-Food-Ville by continuing to eat them. She might not even notice you didn't eat any of the potatoes.

Way too much common sense in this post

That's pretty much what I'm resigned to doing. I would be totally down with the full-on keto thing, but it is proving to be threatening in light of some control issues that certain members of my family need to deal with (and yes, I have plenty of my own issues).

To be fair, the pasta was whole-wheat pasta and as many of you have very astutely surmised, this is not really about carbs or no carbs. It will be interesting to see what my blood ketones are tomorrow, but they were at 0.8 mmol/L this afternoon anyway (I don't do the bone broth fasting thing on weekends).

To be even more fair, my previous diet was so bad that the inclusion or exclusion of some whole wheat pasta is probably negligible compared with the exclusion of:

- large (read huge) plates of normal refined pasta, often with a second helping
- massive quantities of baguette (white flour)
- regular trips to the patisserie
- large-size milk chocolate bars, eaten whole at one sitting, several times a week
- handfuls of store-bought chocolate chip cookies, almost every day
- sugary desert after *every* meal
- 2-3 beers in an evening, several times a week

The above confessions will no doubt reveal me as the morally weak scoundrel that I am, and explain much of my wife's disgust. However I also suppose that the above indulgences were partly self-medication (dopamine fix) to help deal with chronic sleep deprivation and an extremely stressful home environment.

It's been a big achievement for me to forgo all of the above junk, and more, since around May 31 when I started this thread. I confess I am a bit sad that I have not had one single word of encouragement or support from my wife, despite the fact that I tried to include her in this from the start (I know I should stop bitching about this but can't seem to stop).

Here's my weight progress since early June... (logged using FitBit scale)

Does not look like I'm plateauing yet. The goal is to hit 190 lbs and stay there (this will give a BMI at the high end of 'normal').

Dinner is often "a plate of pasta" in my house, too, because one of our daughters can only be described as a "pastatarian" (she will sometimes eat chicken or fish, and for the most part eats all veggies). My sweet husband is the ultimate Jewish mother, he's the cook and tries to please everyone without resorting to being a short order cook.

So when the kids and husband have pasta, it depends on what goes ON it. I often just eat the sauce by itself (meatballs) or make myself some "zoodles" (for pesto) , or throw the protein in an omelet (smoked salmon). (I bought a beautiful bunch of basil at the farmer's market today I'm turning into sunflower seed pesto and I'll have a pesto omelet for dinner one night this week. And a caprese salad tonight.)

When hubby makes homemade chicken pot pie, he leaves some of the homemade filling out, and I just eat it in a ramekin or on top of a low carb tortilla I make myself (recipe on Diet Doctor website--I make a ton and freeze them for quick meals). I will eat a little sweet potato or potato on occasion if it's integral to the dish (we like roast beast hash).

When part of the meal is rice, I sauté up a quick cauliflower rice dish using frozen "riced" cauliflower from Trader Joes or a quick "pilaf" made with hemp seeds--or not, I don't always need to substitute that portion of the meal, I just skip it.

We are empty nesters for most of the next two weeks. The pastatarian is working at a residential summer camp and only pops home occasionally, and the little one is away visiting her aunt, uncle and cousins for two weeks. So I made liver for dinner--no snide remarks from the kids! And we can eat eggplant without "it looks like snot" remarks, too. Yippee!

Sorry, Leptic. I don't know if this will work in your house or make things worse. But for others who may be facing this dilemma without the marital strife, the compromise works really well.

It may also smell, feel, and taste more "normal".
Any diet that is too detached from everyday fare becomes unsustainable.

chunkyfrog wrote:It may also smell, feel, and taste more "normal".
Any diet that is too detached from everyday fare becomes unsustainable.

Unfortunately the alternative was also becoming unsustainable...

So pretend to eat the g__d__n carbs, spit into your napkin, and wash the napkin in the bathroom sink.
Kids with eating disorders learn to be very sneaky to get around their parents' watchful eyes.
Consider it a game; and your opponent is cheating, so you are obligated to do the same.