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Stormynights wrote:My husband has been battling Melanoma for a couple of years and found out Tuesday that it is terminal. The doctors said that he has a few months to a couple of years if the treatments work. It isn't Chemo but something else that isn't supposed to be as bad as Chemo. It has spread through his blood to his bones and liver. I have been trying to look up diets and useful information that might help him but my head is so foggy nothing will sink in. My heart is breaking. Does anyone know anything that might help. I don't need sympathy I need useful information. I don't mean to sound like a bitch but I am just having such a hard time with this.

Don't give up hope.
My wife's brother's wife (sister-in-law) battled with melanoma for something like 18 years. She finally lost the battle about a year ago after it had gotten into her brain, but she never gave up (at least not that she let on). Lots of treatments, therapies and experimental stuff, but she still hung in there.
We're all born with a terminal disease.......it's called "LIFE". It's just the paths we take to get there are fairly unique to each of us.

Try to be strong.
Sending more hugs your way.

Den

.

In the breast cancer support group, a number of dietary suggestions have been made;
but the over-riding advice has been if it is too unpleasant or difficult, it may not be worth it.
Don't let treatment get in the way of enjoying the life you have.
And a big, wet froggy hug to you!

StormyNights, well, that just sucks. Anyway, in addition to what Archangel says, you could get second opinions about treatments going forward. Some people later regret that they didn't get that second opinion. Not sure who the experts are for that kind of cancer but M D Anderson and John Hopkins tend to have the most cancer experts and are certainly places to go for 2nd opinions. Second opinions, even if that doesn't change the outcome, frequently help you to feel more confident about future choices and concerns.

Today was a lot better. Just having to tell all the family members is so stressful on top of everything else. I am glad that part is over. I really appreciate the well wishes. He has an appointment Monday for testing and maybe find out which treatment they are going to use.

I'm so sorry. My husband was diagnosed in October 2013. We still still worry.

I'm sure you'll avail yourself to the best of resources on treatments and nutrition. Can offer only virtual hugs. Glad the telling the family part has passed. Thinking of you as you sort through all this.

Stormy

I'm sorry to hear of you and your husbands issues. You may want to contact Hospice care sometime in the near future. They have all sorts of information and probably have dietary information you can use. They also should have support for you during this fight.

Best wishes and hugs to the both of you.

-Bill

Stormy,

I am so sorry you are dealing with this with your husband. When those we love are in jeopardy, it can be such an overwhelming feeling. I cannot imagine if my husband was diagnosed with a terminal condition.

I do not have any experience in this area, but if it was happening to us, I would spend time seeking the things that make us smile together for as long as possible. It has been the memories of shared joy that have helped me deal with losing a loved family member. I will keep you and your family in my prayers as you go through this tough time. Hugs to you.


Karen

Stormynights wrote:Today was a lot better. Just having to tell all the family members is so stressful on top of everything else. I am glad that part is over. I really appreciate the well wishes. He has an appointment Monday for testing and maybe find out which treatment they are going to use.

I'm glad today is better. You might try to find out if his cancer is the same as Jimmy Carter's. I know that he has metastatic melanoma, but there could be differences between the two. If so, ask about getting the same treatment, or at least a consult with his doctors.

Julie wrote:Just want to put in a tiny word - to be careful not to let 'want' overcome smarts - there are so many out there (not all in U.S. proper) who are willing to take your money and time because they know desperation can override sense... it's going to be hard to resist that kind of pull from 'alternative' sources, but you need to keep it in mind. FWIW a well known researcher/MD up here (who I knew) died a year+ ago from the same thing, and if there had been any magic answers he had the resources to pursue them, but knew better than to spend his remaining time and energy on chasing miracles.

What Julie said.

Stormy,

I don't know what I can add in the way of support or options to you and your husband that have not been already so wisely and lovingly shared. I will certainly be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, but always have a feeling of frustration that something more tangible can't be immediately found and given for one of ours that is hurting.

For two years I worked in a Cemetery and saw multiple times a day (at the services) what people shared about their biggest regrets or the things they wished they could do again to bring them closer, even for just one moment, to their loved ones.

The time spent together, experiences that were shared, the incredible memories created. These are the things that seem to produced the biggest regrets for failure to do them, but also the greatest desires to be able to do one more time again. These are the things that I believe we take with us when we go and leave in the hearts of those who stay. The things that really matter, especially in difficult times as these.

John

Thank you John. We spend most of our time together but I need to share him more with others and kick him out to do what he enjoys. He has spent way too much time living his life for me. I never wanted that for him at all. I just gave up fighting him about it.

Stormy,

Sounds like a wonderful husband and man!

I feel that when you share of your time and the love you have with somone, it can often show them how much they are valued, the impact that person has had on yor life, the blessings you have received from knowing and being with them.

If you were to ask your husband he would probably say that all of the time, effort, sacrifice, support, and life experiences he has shared with you, pale in comparison to the blessing of you, being along side of you, spending a lifetime serving and loving you.

John

He is the most loving and thoughtful person I have ever met. He has managed to show me every day how much he loves and appreciates me. I am not near as good at that as he is.

Stormynights wrote:He is the most loving and thoughtful person I have ever met. He has managed to show me every day how much he loves and appreciates me. I am not near as good at that as he is.

I beg to differ! The only way he would have been loving and thoughtful to you... is if you were loving and thoughtful to him. That's a fact! Sending warm hugs.