CPAPtalk.com

robysue wrote:

palerider wrote:

49er wrote: So far, you haven't said a word although once Roby Sue spoke up, at least you were smart enough not to anything more about him. But it shouldn't haven't taken RS to say anything for people like you to stop ganging up on him.

enchanters behavior *Has* changed...

Enchanter's behavior has changed, but NOT because of the cruel and unnecessary posts you, TL, and others have made to his threads.

Enchanter's behavior has changed because I have taken the time to respond at length to him both publicly and in PMs with long, detailed posts that fit his learning style. I've been using a large number of 2 x 4's in my responses to his posts and emails, but my 2 x 4's have been applied using polite language that takes into account his nonstandard thinking patterns and learning style. I have persistently and patiently explain things to him over and over because that's what someone with his kind of ADHD/OCB and anxiety impaired way of thinking has to have done. In other words, I've have to politely hit him over the head with the same 2 x 4 enough times for what I'm saying to finally make sense to him. I'm related to enough people who think and express themselves the way Enchanter did in his early posts that I understand people like that are NOT going to "hear" you the first 10 times you say something. But they may hear you the 15th or 20th time. I know my own limits of patience, and Enchanter pushed them, but he never actually pushed my limits far enough for me to write him off.

I don't expect everybody on this board to have the patience to deal with people like Enchanter. And I understand why most people do NOT have the patience to deal with someone like Enchanter. But I would like the people who don't have that kind patience to not get in the way. In other words, if you run out of patience in dealing with a newbie, the proper thing to do is to Just Not Respond to the newbie's threads anymore. Seriously. If all you want to do is post clever insults, it's best to Just Not Respond. Let the people who have more patience deal with the exasperating newbies who irritate the daylights out of you.

palerider wrote:yours, however...

And, palerider, your behavior also has not changed. You are always ready to fight, palerider, and you have a hard time letting anything slide.

Brilliant, Robysue!

+1 Thank you. That needed to be said.
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Pugsy wrote:I really try to go by the "if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all adage"....sometimes I fail because sometimes a 2 X 4 is needed but I don't drag out the wood unless I am really pushed hard. I am human and sometimes I can get just as ugly as the next person. Not something I am all that proud of though.

I got this in a private message from a newbie

Do not want to be a bother! Seen what happens to bothersome people on the site.

Seeing this from a newbie and seeing some of the bickering and fighting and mudslinging that goes on here saddens me because we pride ourselves on being the "best" cpap help forum and if this is what newbies see and feel here....it's pretty sad.
Just one newbie feeling like they can't ask a question because of being afraid of being piled on for being a nuisance is one too many IMHO.

I wish Dori was still here to send the "children" to time out corners when things start getting ugly and here lately they get pretty ugly real fast. Sometimes we spend more time bickering and slinging the F bomb you (which to me breaks my heart to read) than we we actually helping someone.

Maybe we do need a sub forum here....one where we can duke it out and sling mud and cuss each other out...separate from the help section because when there's 1 to 3 pages of nastiness back and forth...the helping comments get totally lost.

Yeah, I know that a recent new member really stretched our patience levels. Mine got stretched to the point it snapped but that's when I decided to bow out rather than keep piling on and on and on with the insults.
But it's more than what happened to Enchanter...it's the overall tone that has become so predominate here that bothers me. The forum veterans roll with the punches but the newbies ..... this must seem like the roughest biker bar in the world to them and it's not sometime that I am particularly proud of.

Yes...we need to correct misinformation at times but I do wish we didn't have to wade through a shitload of nasty banter back and forth to get it done.
And it's not just one person....it's a whole bunch of people involved who just have to get the last nastiest barb in.

2 wrongs don't make a right.

Tatooed Lady wrote:But I'm pissed at him...I never got the "join my posse" memo OR badge. PR, you got some 'splainin' to do.

well, you'll have to talk to the anti-palerider posse about that, because *I* didn't get a memo or badge EITHER.

the best I can guess is that since *THEY* have a posse, they assume that *I* have a posse. it's called 'projection"

I drop back by here occasionally just to see what's going on...new information, thoughts, and ideas. And as I can usually tell, nothing much changes behavior-wise, except maybe a few of the players. It's a great place for information and help, if you can ignore some of the unfortunate rude and nasty behavior. Just a quick post from an oldie who knows it's been like this a long time and will never change.

jlaw3x7 wrote:I actually like the drama. I like the fact that enchanter is free to make 50 threads a day. I like the fact that so many interesting questions are asked here. Maybe it has some anger issues but hey... that might be the sleep deprivation ... I can relate... This board/forum is very introspective and I like that too. I like that there are saints here that keep us on the right path. It is not perfect, but overall it's a fine place. I feel like it will help me.

Yes the forum is not boring and you don't have to wait 48 before your post is approved/censored. It is probably the only reason I stuck around for 6 years. There are adult human beings with lives and issues here and not patronizing robots.

Everyone is invited to the party but we are not responsible that you have a good time if you want to sit in a corner and drown your sorrows. If you start being obnoxious someone will get right back at you in your face and if you puke in the corner people will insist you clean up your mess. Just like any neighbourhood block party or your local pub.

palerider wrote:

Tatooed Lady wrote:But I'm pissed at him...I never got the "join my posse" memo OR badge. PR, you got some 'splainin' to do.

well, you'll have to talk to the anti-palerider posse about that, because *I* didn't get a memo or badge EITHER.

the best I can guess is that since *THEY* have a posse, they assume that *I* have a posse. it's called 'projection"

PR... you are a joke!

Class ~ Psychology 101 is starting in five minutes. If you know all the gotcha words, please jot them down so that you can show your classmates just how "smart" you are.

Keep going Palerider... you are finally getting real close to hanging yourself.

ems wrote:Keep going Palerider... you are finally getting real close to hanging yourself.

I look forward to your first useful, helpful informative post on the forum... once you get all the hate out of your system that is currently directed at me, maybe you can find something useful to contribute.

ems wrote:

palerider wrote:

Tatooed Lady wrote:But I'm pissed at him...I never got the "join my posse" memo OR badge. PR, you got some 'splainin' to do.

well, you'll have to talk to the anti-palerider posse about that, because *I* didn't get a memo or badge EITHER.

the best I can guess is that since *THEY* have a posse, they assume that *I* have a posse. it's called 'projection"

PR... you are a joke!

Class ~ Psychology 101 is starting in five minutes. If you know all the gotcha words, please jot them down so that you can show your classmates just how "smart" you are.

Keep going Palerider... you are finally getting real close to hanging yourself.

What's the point in this? If you don't like someone, don't respond. Pale Rider has contributed solid info since I've been here. Let's all chill out

I find "piling on" such an interesting social behavior. Seems to have a magnetic pull. Oh that we (I) would be as quick to rally around positive efforts. Remembering in high school how football players who did that were targets themselves after games. I usually refrain, but a few months ago I commented on a news video about a parent's handling of a discipline issue. Hate to admit this, but I just HAD to get my 2 cents in. In my gut I knew I shouldn't - there's always another side to the story - but I did it anyway. Then the mother the story was about replied to my post. I figured if I had enough "balls" to comment publicly I should have enough for my apology to be public too. A humbling reminder to listen to my gut when it tells me to shut up. But once again I'm going to ignore that voice and put my 2 cents in...

Lately every time I read posts like in this thread and comments on news stories I think of this recent story I watched unfold on the news.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPvTTmhyB_w

postitnote wrote:

ems wrote:

palerider wrote:

Tatooed Lady wrote:But I'm pissed at him...I never got the "join my posse" memo OR badge. PR, you got some 'splainin' to do.

well, you'll have to talk to the anti-palerider posse about that, because *I* didn't get a memo or badge EITHER.

the best I can guess is that since *THEY* have a posse, they assume that *I* have a posse. it's called 'projection"

PR... you are a joke!

Class ~ Psychology 101 is starting in five minutes. If you know all the gotcha words, please jot them down so that you can show your classmates just how "smart" you are.

Keep going Palerider... you are finally getting real close to hanging yourself.

What's the point in this? If you don't like someone, don't respond. Pale Rider has contributed solid info since I've been here. Let's all chill out

Postit - I agree with you. PR has contributed some solid info. He knows a lot about sleep apnea, the equipment and is tech savvy to boot. I've learned several tricks from his suggestions. That said, contributing some solid info does not give him or anyone the right to be mean, nasty, demeaning, sarcastic = bully like -- to make people fearful of asking questions they so badly need answers to, and/or participating on this forum. This type of behavior is becoming the norm and scares not only new people learning they have sleep apnea, but others who have been around awhile. It's not fair nor is it right, and certainly should not be happening on a forum that is supposed to be about helping others.

ems wrote:Postit - I agree with you. PR has contributed some solid info. He knows a lot about sleep apnea, the equipment and is tech savvy to boot. I've learned several tricks from his suggestions. That said, contributing some solid info does not give him or anyone the right to be mean, nasty, demeaning, sarcastic = bully like -- to make people fearful of asking questions they so badly need answers to, and/or participating on this forum. This type of behavior is becoming the norm and scares not only new people learning they have sleep apnea, but others who have been around awhile. It's not fair nor is it right, and certainly should not be happening on a forum that is supposed to be about helping others.

Ummmmmmm..........NO!!!

That's a nice big warm pile of male bovine excrement.
I just did a search on some of the words that some people call each other and other "nasty" words.......and lo and behold they go back to nearly the beginning of the forum.
And, as far as just the knock-down, drag-out arguments go.........same story.
I've been here long enough to remember many/most of them.
The forum hasn't really changed, just some of the members.


Den

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postitnote wrote:And btw, if Morbious sees this, 2 days ago I found a groundhog living in our yard. It's so cute and fluffy! I hope it's a boy so we don't have babies. It made a burrow next to the garage that's about 10 feet long. He comes out if I call "kitty, kitty". He plays nicely with the birds, squirrels, and bunnies. Can't wait till next groundhog day to get a really local weather forecast!

I have a garden.

Whenever I see a woodchuck I spear it with a pitchfork.

Want a chuckskin cap?

In the OP's thread, the best solution (okay, "IMHO" anyway)(although there is one thing missing- see the original NPSG report to see if the present course is appropriate).

That thread is dead.

This one gets 70 posts and 1500 views on a nice weekend (typically slow for the forum).

Tell me why that is.

When I first posted that I had SA and was going to start a self directed treatment, I was touched by the response that thread received. In that thread someone mentioned that I didn't post much. So I figured "Ok I'll post more". The funny thing is, unless someone needs help with a malfunctioning machine that no one else in the forum addresses, I have little to contribute as evidenced by my subsequent posts and as much as I want to flap my jaws, I'm trying very hard to refrain from posting any further irrelevancies.

Here's my views concerning the original subject as I understand it.

It seems that people come to this forum without making the slightest effort to read the stickies, do an unsophisticated search, or make any minimal attempt to discover enough information to frame a question beyond "I got a sleep study, what do I do". It' not like there isn't six stickies at the top of the front page that deals with and/or makes references to a wealth of information at that point in therapy. If a person has enough computer ability to find this group, is it not unreasonable to expect them to click on a sticky that says "CPAP Basics - - Table of Contents" or "Especially for newly diagnosed - Dealing with Change"?

Last night I was reading the threads and there were at least two maybe three threads on pulse oximeters. They all said basicaly the same thing, with the exception one guy wanted to argue about Massimos. About three weeks ago there was another thread about buying CMS from China or branded from a domestic supplier that covered a lot of basic ground. A site search pulls up endless discussion, mostly recent, about this very thing. Is not some of the hubris that is expressed here not due to utter boredom, seeing the same questions, seeing the same lack of effort, and watching poster after poster ask questions that if they just looked at the titles of the threads a few lines below their own, they might glean an answer or at least some direction.

They may be newbies, confused, frightened, whatever. Does that excuse them from taking a modicum of responsibility for doing at least a little research? I don't know that answer. But when someone points out that maybe a little search engine query might help, the thread "devolves" into wall to wall ad hominem attacks typically kicked off with some variation of "how can you be so mean."

I've found that the information I'm looking for the most is found in this forum's history accessible through searching the domain. If not here, then references to other material found here. I don't know anything about this condition, but I'll figure it out with a little help from some very special people on this forum. As far as posting a plethora of questions, I haven't really needed to yet. Maybe as I gain expertise to the level of many of the members here, I will. But you can bet I'll exhaust all of my meager search skills before that happens.

BlackSpinner wrote: Yes there is good information here but it means you have to deal with the reality of PEOPLE. It can be considered a form of payment - there is no free lunch and to get the "grail" be prepared to work for it - it makes it that much more valuable.

"Be prepared to work for it" separates cpaptalk from other "nicer" forums and I think the people that are willing to go that extra mile and not just come here and expect to be spoon fed endlessly are better served because of what this forum is and who it's members are.

This and fifty cents gets you a cheap coffee.

Accurate: you make some very good points.
On graduation day, a lot of folks toss that funny hat in the air, believing this is the end of all studying.
Once here, most forum members know that knowledge is survival, and we must never stop studying.
But the world is populated with people who still believe the graduation day lie. It is a hard pill to swallow.