CPAPtalk.com

ems wrote:

Cathyann wrote:I've done quite a bit of reading as I'm a newbie and have lots to learn. Besides the ideas and suggestions from folks who have been there/done that, I've noticed sarcastic, snarky tones and also useless one-liners that do nothing to contribute to the threads. Heck, I'm even reluctant to share this because I don't want to see that same kind of thing directed at me.

I've been a member of quite a few online communities, even moderated some and haven't seen anything like this. Are there moderators here? Allowing this sort of drama to go on sets a negative tone and it's unfortunate, especially for the newbies like me who are here to learn and get support.

Would folks really treat someone this way in person? I hope not.

Hi Cathy... welcome here. No, no moderators here. Why? I really don't know. However, if you can ignore the bullies you will find there is much to learn and knowledgeable, kind posters. I'm sorry you ran into this thread early on. Honestly, I really am. Take what you feel is applicable to your situation and leave the rest. I hope things go smoothly for you!

Hi Cathy,

Welcome!

There are some very smart and experienced people here who can help you with Cpap treatments and sleep apnea if this is what you need. Wulfman, Pugsy, Palerider, Krelvin, Kteague, Sleeprider, and Chunkyfrog to name a few, have helped me a lot. Simply reading all the posts every day provides tremendous information. If it were not for this forum I would have returned my equipment and lived out the rest of my life without Cpap and my DME and highly trained neurologist sleep doctor would not have cared. The majority of forum members are friendly and kind people but there are also members who lie, are sticky sweet, bully, form cliques in attempt to bully and so on. Unfortunately you see these people in the real world also. It takes a while to figure out who's who but if you stick around longer than one week you will know who they are and you can choose to ignore them or join them.

Hi, Cathyann. Note that the forum has a way to block posts from people should that ever become necessary. On your control panel, there is a friends & foes section. If you add someone as a foe then you will no longer see their posts. It's just something to keep in mind.

yaconsult wrote:Hi, Cathyann. Note that the forum has a way to block posts from people should that ever become necessary. On your control panel, there is a friends & foes section. If you add someone as a foe then you will no longer see their posts. It's just something to keep in mind.

But keep in mind that the person you block may be the one best able to help you, who has the answer to your questions but you won't be able to see that.

BlackSpinner wrote:
But keep in mind that the person you block may be the one best able to help you, who has the answer to your questions but you won't be able to see that.

Truer words never spoken! +100

By closing your mind to other things and opinions, you ensure you will be limited in your own little world. If that's the point of your life, go indoors lock the doors and pull your blinds, it's your choice.

My method, learn all I can, promote what I believe to be true, discard the rest. I try not to set limits on myself. Jim

Oh, I have no problem dealing with people online. I have been online since the arpanet days before browsers and google and AOL.

I mention the friend/foe option for those who might be on the verge of leaving because of posts by some people. It is good for them to know that they have a way to block those people, should they have a need to.

It is also true that some people can provide good advice and be helpful in some posts and yet be very obnoxious in other posts. This is where selective reading comes in handy and/or sitting on your hands and resisting the urge to jump in.

Maybe we can ALL try to be more helpful and less hurtful and combative? Try to remember that we have lots of tired, desperate people reading our words and looking for help. Would you have stayed around and gotten the help you needed if there were lots of personal attacks, name calling, and threats?

yaconsult wrote:
Maybe we can ALL try to be more helpful and less hurtful and combative? Try to remember that we have lots of tired, desperate people reading our words and looking for help. Would you have stayed around and gotten the help you needed if there were lots of personal attacks, name calling, and threats?

There are many different cultures, classes and generations here also. Some off whom reserve the "white glove" treatment for people they dislike while jokes and sarcastic cracks are considered offers of friendship. Some consider mealy mouthed people to be sheep who suck up to others.

That is the problem with the internet - you can't tell the tone or the facial expressions. You also can't avoid all those "Other" people who are different and make you feel uncomfortable. Crossing the street when you see someone with the wrong skin, the wrong hair, the wrong clothes or the wrong accent is not a option here .

I think it's very important to remember that many people come to this forum at a time when they are at their most vulnerable. Being diagnosed can be scary. And many people are sleep deprived - that's why possibly the majority of people on here initially went to seek help! People aren't always themselves when they are sleep deprived! We can't take it all to heart!

This forum 'sucks' re politeness, lacks true moderation- yet has been very helpful to me. That is of some consolation. Thank you!

If here for a week or so you will learn of the nasty people and their despicable 'clique'.

But I find myself not wanting to be here much of the time, and I spend time now on other related forums, where there's some decency.

Take what you can get, give what you can to others, and then pis* on this nasty place (not literally because not possible). A pox on them and their 'clique'!

When it comes to decency, this forum is pathetic.

tedburnsIII wrote:This forum 'sucks' re politeness, lacks true moderation- yet has been very helpful to me. Thank you!

If here for a week or so you will learn of the nasty people and their despicable 'clique'.

But I find myself not wanting to be here much of the time, and I spend time now on other related forums, where there's some decency.

Take what you can get, give what you can to others, and then pis* on this nasty place (not literally because not possible). A pox on them and their 'clique'!

When it comes to decency, this forum is pathetic.

and there's a prime example of the dark side.

Moderation only stops asinine behavior by members.
The moderators are not restricted, and in other forums,
may block much helpful content, as it does not follow the "party line".
I prefer this forum, toads notwithstanding.
Unattractive people are often the best company--they have the best stories.

chunkyfrog wrote:Moderation only stops asinine behavior by members.
The moderators are not restricted, and in other forums,
may block much helpful content, as it does not follow the "party line".

that's such a good point. half of the advice here couldn't be given in other forums.

before it's demise, on the asaa forum, it was a bannable offense to suggest someone download a manual and change their own pressure.

on apneaboard, the mods erase any mention of any website... "were can I buy a mask" you CAN'T SAY "cpap.com". you have to play silly games like referring to their list of "approved vendors" and say "psst, 'supplier 7' has a sale this week" like it's some cloak and dagger operation.

sure, there's benefits, PERHAPS having someone you don't like be muzzled... unless you're the one that gets muzzled... but there's so many more downsides to heavy handed moderation.

chunkyfrog wrote:Moderation only stops asinine behavior by members.
The moderators are not restricted, and in other forums,
may block much helpful content, as it does not follow the "party line".
I prefer this forum, toads notwithstanding.
Unattractive people are often the best company--they have the best stories.

I had a pet toad once but he peed on me all the time! I still loved him though

BlackSpinner wrote:

yaconsult wrote:Hi, Cathyann. Note that the forum has a way to block posts from people should that ever become necessary. On your control panel, there is a friends & foes section. If you add someone as a foe then you will no longer see their posts. It's just something to keep in mind.

But keep in mind that the person you block may be the one best able to help you, who has the answer to your questions but you won't be able to see that.

How you doin"?

Cathyann wrote: . . . I've been a member of quite a few online communities, even moderated some and haven't seen anything like this. Are there moderators here? Allowing this sort of drama to go on sets a negative tone and it's unfortunate, especially for the newbies like me who are here to learn and get support. . .

Hi Cathyann. Good question. The forum hosts, cpap.com, set the policy years ago that monitoring would be "self-monitoring." That means we members are supposed to do our own monitoring and policing, if you will. Like you, I have doubts about that policy choice, but it's what we have right now. It hasn't been this bad until very recently. I think it will soon get much better now that we're focusing on how we've slipped. Our common interest is to extend help. I suppose that's because we all have sleep apnea and we've all been in your boat when we were newbies.

So if you want to give it a chance, please do go to the User Control Panel and enter the equipment items you use, etc. That way we'll most easily be able to help with any questions you may have.