CPAPtalk.com

When I read your post I thought you were kidding around... reading further I saw that you aren't. Does your wife understand what sleep apnea is? If she doesn't, maybe finding out would be a good idea. She can start by reading here and also google sleep apnea. It's serious and she needs to know the consequences of untreated sleep apnea.

There are people here who have been where you are and will help you. Can you post a screen shot of your data thus far? That information will be very telling.

Don't give up on your wife... she just doesn't get it... yet. One has to understand something before reality sets in.

I wish you the best of luck!

Apparently she forgot the line, " . . . in sickness and in health."
She might also be apprehensive about any reputed improvement in the operation of one's
"Wedding tackle". Not every wife likes the attention.

Buy her a Greyhound Ticket, and give thanks, before you waste anymore of your life. She's not a life partner, she's a dead weight, many hang on for years, a wife should be a helpmate and support you. Jim

I will post in the morning. She is downstairs on the computer that has my data on it and I am about to turn in for the night.

It is important that when you sleep that you use your cpap always.

Take 15 minutes and review this youtube video it will help you understand what is going on with you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gie2dhqP2c

This video put the whole thing in perspective for me. I was able to show this video to my family to help them understand what is going on me.

Make sure your wife reviews the video and she will understand how serious this is.

Unfortunately, your situation is not unique. There have been many spouses come on the forum and complain about their husbands.......even AFTER they started therapy. They find anything and everything to complain about. Very SELFISH on their part.
It isn't hard to imagine how their rants were responded to by this bunch of CPAP advocates.

I wonder how she would feel if the situation was reversed? As you've seen from the forum members, there are LOTS of women who have it, too. Lots of people who are "normal" weight or even skinny.
It's a BREATHING disorder.......NOT a sleeping disorder. And, yes, sleep apnea is a great contributor to weight gain. The lack of oxygen when we sleep really messes with the bodily functions and hormones.

I see "chunkyfrog" beat me to the "in sickness and in health" line.

She needs to give you some time to heal and recover.......it can take MONTHS. It's not like a light switch that once you start therapy everything is "normal" again. We didn't get this way overnight and it doesn't restore our functionality overnight, either.


Den

.

Goofproof wrote:Buy her a Greyhound Ticket, and give thanks, before you waste anymore of your life. She's not a life partner, she's a dead weight, many hang on for years, a wife should be a helpmate and support you. Jim

Were you thinking of Roy Clark's song......"Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone"......?


Den

.

TankerBell wrote:What can I do!? I can't help falling asleep.

tell her not to let the door knob hit her in her ungrateful ass on her way out, and count your blessings.

I couldn't imagine giving my husband a hard time about needing something to improve his health. And if he had given me an issue about getting a cpap I would have told him not to let the door hit him where the good lord split him. But seriously for the last two years I have slept for up to 15 hours a day, I would fall asleep in the middle of eating dinner, helping our son do homework, you name it. I am still really tired but after a month on cpap I am not falling asleep all the time now so it's slow but it's progress. You will get there as well, hopefully with her support. But if not then its her loss not yours.

Nicely said, Nate. +1

NateS wrote:

TankerBell wrote:Title says it all. I can't stay awake. Wife is fed up and bored with me. Been on CPAP for almost two weeks with no improvement. What can I do!? I can't help falling asleep. Wife gave me an ultimatum on my falling asleep which is why I went to sleep doc in the first place. Should I ask doc about Nuvigil at least temporarily?

The fact that she is not standing by you as you struggle with a significant health problem suggests that there are a lot more problems in your relationship with her than this one, in which case I would suggest that you concentrate on your health problems and accept the probability that the relationship is probably over and that new opportunities for happiness will open up in the future with someone more worthy of you.

Best wishes, Nate

Wulfman... wrote:

Goofproof wrote:Buy her a Greyhound Ticket, and give thanks, before you waste anymore of your life. She's not a life partner, she's a dead weight, many hang on for years, a wife should be a helpmate and support you. Jim

Were you thinking of Roy Clark's song......"Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone"......?


Den

.

One of my favorites, andin many cases sound advice. I've been married for 50 years, been thru problems most haven't, not bought the ticket yet, won't, not in my nature, but for some I see it as a valid answer. You can't push a rope uphill, (Unless you soak it in water and Freeze it). Many time what's causing trouble is just a excuse for much deeper problems, not all problems have a solution, sometimes walking awsy is the best solution.

Hope kids aren't in the mix, that makes it even harder, but living in hell isn't easy for them either. Jim

TankerBell wrote:Title says it all. I can't stay awake. Wife is fed up and bored with me. Been on CPAP for almost two weeks with no improvement. What can I do!? I can't help falling asleep. Wife gave me an ultimatum on my falling asleep which is why I went to sleep doc in the first place. Should I ask doc about Nuvigil at least temporarily?

Had another thought........
Maybe you could arrange to have "wifey" talk with one of your doctors......who could then explain to her the intricacies and complications of this therapy and the condition that you're attempting to treat. And, how it devastates a person's life.
This condition sneaks up on us fairly gradually until we finally can't function anymore.

All jokes aside and snarky remarks about your wife.......you've got my (our) sympathies.
Nobody but the people who are or have been afflicted with it can actually relate to what we've gone through and how it makes us feel.


Den

.

TankerBell wrote:Title says it all. I can't stay awake. Wife is fed up and bored with me. Been on CPAP for almost two weeks with no improvement. What can I do!? I can't help falling asleep. Wife gave me an ultimatum on my falling asleep which is why I went to sleep doc in the first place. Should I ask doc about Nuvigil at least temporarily?

That's one uncaring wife. You have a disease. It can't be cured by getting skinny (some ppl can). She married you.. Sickness and in health.

2 weeks isn't enough time. You need 2 MONTHS. I saw energy levels within 2 days

But 10 non cpap sleep hrs is worse than 5 with a cpap

You need to get 5-8 hrs cpap hrs a night. After a month, I started falling asleep during the day constantly. My body was FINALLy get good sleep and wanted to play catch up

I know the post isn't new. I hope she stuck around, but when a spouse is just put on a cpap, the other should get instant relief from:
Snoring
You spayung spittle all over at night
They can sleep better

That should be MORE THAN ENOUGH

Your wife needs to chill. My husband (yes I'm a guy) was fed up of 12 yrs of snoring , etc, and was overjoyed that the above list was instantly gone

The constant nodding off in the day, dropping things irritated him, but he understood, and stuck through it. He did nag, and get irritated at first but I put my foot down. I said: DEAL WITH IT AND BE HAPPY SO MANY OTHER THUNGS ARE FIXED..then I reminded him of our marriage vows. That was the end of fl

Dealing with sleep apnea is difficult enough without having marriage issues at the same time. It is very hard to feel judged unfairly, not just by a spouse, other family, and coworkers, but also to realize you even judged your own self harshly when you didn't know any better. Reduced physical activity, lethargy, weight gain - it's so easy to call it laziness or lack of motivation. Did you ever do that to yourself? I did. And if we did it to ourselves, how can we be surprised when others, in their ignorance, do it? Maybe your wife is cruel and heartless. Or maybe she's hurt and angry due to what she perceives as your lack of interest in her and the family. Maybe she will hang in there long enough to begin to see the difference in you, and one day realize how unfair she was. All you can do is take the best care of yourself you can and take the future as it comes. Best wishes going forward.

What was your AHI during your sleep study? What is it now?

Sometimes, even if your therapy is working in terms of reducing apnea, your body has to readjust to not being strangled over and over at night. When you have apnea, there are lots of chemical and neurological changes. Your body has adapted to apnea and is out of balance until it readjusts. Think of it a being like stopping nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, drugs, etc. "Withdrawal" may take a while.

Are you feeling worse on CPAP than before, or just not better?

You can also get into the mental rut of being tired. Even after the body is healed, the mind has sometimes got into the habits you picked up when you had no energy. After fixing problems with my CPAP machine, I found I had to consciously realize I actually had energy to do things and get up and do them.

No good answers on the wife. You're right, she's wrong, so you need to apologize. It's tempting to say to cut her loose, but that's cheap and easy advice from someone who doesn't have to deal with it. She should be more understanding, but it can be hard on her, too.