Going back home

[carbonman]

It is possible to go back home. I have done it.
This week we moved back to the house I grew up in.
My dad built the house.....every foot of concrete, board, nail and window.
We spent the last 6mths. repairing, updating and remodeling. Changing it
enough to make it ours....to some degree. We finally moved in this past week.

My dad passed over on Dec. 20. The last few months were really hard for me.
My sleep and health suffered. I thought that somehow I could save him or at the
least take his pain away. Of course, that is not possible. It was his path to walk.
So, now my family is gone.

This is my path to walk. Having spent the last 5yrs caring for and seeing my
parents and my sister into death, it is time for me again. My bike, covered w/dust,
is waiting patiently in the garage. I have new bike routes out of the new/old house.
Just before the end of the year, through insc., I finally got a new S9. I have not
used it yet. I can only deal w/so much change at a time. So, I will be needing
some help to get it up and running and will finally start using SleepyHead.

Through it all, I have always followed cpaptalk.
It is like walking down to the river.
Always moving along, always steady, always there for you.
.....always comforting.

Like a tree, that's planted by the river,
I shall not be moved.
--African American spiritual

[Julie]

Oh, what a year you've had! I hope your 'old' house is some comfort. It will be interesting to see how you go, on your own, and who you are a year from now. I also hope you continue sending us beautiful pictures of your travels - don't let your bike stay dusty! Also hope the S9 helps as well, and that you know the forum's here for you as much as possible whenever you need it.

[HoseCrusher]

Carbonman, some parts of the trail are harder than others. Let's hope there is smooth riding for awhile.

While I am only one of the drops in the river, I am happy to help in any way that I can.

[nanwilson]

Carbonman, life throws us a few rocks to stumble on but we pick ourselves up and carry on to a better place. 2013 was not a great year in our household either, but we carry on as best we can and hope the future brings smiles and a warm heart. So good to see you back, stay this time and continue to keep us all warm and fuzzy with your beautiful snapshots of your calming rides.
Cheers
Nan

[kteague]

Good to see you here, just sad hearing what you've been going through in recent times. My heart is warmed that you are able to take the place your father created and help it evolve to become your own. Our old home place doesn't exist and how I wish it did. Look forward to reading about your new journeys.

[Madalot]

Carbonman --

You have been through so much. My heart goes out to you for your losses.

You are a huge inspiration to all of us. Probably way more than you realize.

[BlackSpinner]

I am where you were.
I understand. My studio is also covered in dust.
The price is immense but we can't do any different.

Thank you for posting.
Thank you for being just ahead of me to break headwind.
Thank you for making it.

[Captain_Midnight]

C-man, very sorry to read about your most difficult year, you are an exemplary son and sib. That said, I'm most impressed with your inner strength.

When you dust off that bike, don't forget to dust off that camera as well.

Happier trails....

.

[chunkyfrog]

I have no words of my own to rival these:

"May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand."

traditional gaelic blessing

[carbonman]

Thank you! It lifts my spirits so much.
It seems like I have just been wandering in the darkness for so long.

Grief leaves you on an unknown shore.
There are no familiar places, no markers to show the way.

I don't know who I will be in a year.
I am trying to find a new bearing point.
It feels good to be here again.
Just as I asked for your help when I started my cpap journey,
I need your help to find my way out of the darkness.

BlackSpinner, you're not alone.
The price can not be measured, only the pledge to honor
our parents......and do the best we can.
I did turn into the wind and stood my ground.....
some days then and some days now having to tell
myself to fight..... fight for your life.
Thank you for saying it.....I am going to make it.....
just as you will.

I will be back on my bike......camera at hand.

HoseCrusher, well said.

For the raindrop, joy is entering the river.
—Ghalib

[DoriC]

Cman, I've missed you and very sorry to hear of your tremendous losses. Life is so precious but not always easy. I hope you know how much your beautiful photos have soothed and calmed me during some of my most trying times, and hopefully I look forward to viewing your new adventures. Blessings.

[SleepingUgly]

I'm sorry for your losses, Carbonman. It seems you were still grieving when yet another loss occurred.

Perhaps a grief support group or bereavement counselor could help show you the way on this unknown path. They have helped others.

[Sir NoddinOff]

Thanks for the update Carbonman. My advice, and what I did when my young nephew died in a motorcycle crash and then right after that my sister died of Alzheimer's, is to get that bike cleaned up, oiled and ready to roll. Then it's as simple as ride, ride, ride - you'll soon blow away the old cobwebs and painful memories. Life is a ride... keep the rubber side down

[Kiralynx]

Carbonman,

Yes, I'm there, too, with my Dad. Already went there with my Mom, who Passed in 2009.

As they gave to us when we were young, so we give to them now.

It's coming up on Spring. The roads await thee.