Think I'm finished

[Cudos]

I know 2 weeks is a short amount of time. What I have learned in those 2 weeks is that there is something seriously wrong with my body and the CPAP machine. A conflict/battle going on.

I cannot wear the FFM or P10 for more than an hour at any pressure, or should I say any therapeutic pressure. Ramp, no ramp, humidity , on, off, mixed, doesn't matter.

I cannot, repeat cannot exhale well enough to stave off the oxygen starved sensation I get in my gut. The anxiety and fight/flight response takes over and I have to take off the mask then I can blissfully fall asleep.

I also get a slight headache using the machine and have noticed some bizarre heart pains/pangs, thumps at the same time. Its as if my body is trying to tell me something. I see other newbs taking to these things like fish to water or at least with some success.

I have tried and tried to just let my self go regarding the breathing hoping my autonomic nervous system would take over and I would actually get past an hour on this thing!! no such luck.
My RRT has tried me at starting pressure's of 5,6,7 and everything in between, ramp, autopap, cpap, the result is the same every dam time. I've tried the resmed and now the Phillips dreamstation (which by the way is so much quieter than the resmed autoset) with no difference in the outcome.

My loaner goes back tomorrow and I actually feel relieved. Maybe some of us are destined to sleep the way we sleep and nothing can change it. If i had managed even one night of success, or even a few hours then maybe i could see the light at the end of the tunnel but the fact that I actually feel my body rebelling and hurting with this thing looks to be a deal breaker at this point.

Funny thing though, after I end up ripping of the mask and can't take one more minute and I go to sleep my wife says i haven't snored once, not a peep, strange and hard to believe but maybe I have been snoring just not as much or loudly. My lungs also feel different now, at least the upper portion does. Feels like i have a partially inflated balloon in there, weird.

I must say though, this is a great site with obviously tons of experience and knowledge here. Maybe one day I'll be back. I'm sure my sleep clinic will want to sell me one of these units now that the trial period is over despite my lack of success. I wish them luck!

Cheers

[3dmark]

Sorry to hear it's been such a struggle. I've been using my machine for over a month, and last night was only the second night I slept through. It involved a lot of tweaking of the mask, the hose, the way I wear the mask, the humidity level, the way I adjust my pillow, and just plain getting used to it.

All of which is to say, I wouldn't give up yet. The light may yet be at the end of the tunnel.

More directly addressing your issues - I also started with feelings of panic and feeling I just wasn't getting enough air. It turns out I was right! Issues with the mask and hose meant that I wasn't get enough air at the prescribed pressure level. I changed these out, and presto, the feeling of panic went away.

[LSAT]

It takes a positive attitude to be successful with CPAP.......You don't appear to have it.

[jnk...]

. . . My RRT has tried me at starting pressure's of 5,6,7 and everything in between . . .

RRTs and docs often assume that there is "too much pressure" when a patient is having a hard time acclimating to PAP. And at times that is true. My experience, however, is that often the problem is NOT ENOUGH pressure. Especially during allergy season, I need at least 8 cm of pressure from the start and I need a nasal mask or nasal pillows with larger openings. The large openings and higher pressures seem to open up my sinuses in a way that makes it EASIER for me to breathe, not harder. If, on the other hand, I use a nasal-pillows mask with smaller openings or start out with a lower pressure, I too get a panicked, starved-for-air sensation. When pollen is really, really bad, I sometimes need as much as 10 cm of pressure starting out to prevent the starved-for-air sensation.

[chunkyfrog]

Two weeks is definitely not enough time.
You had some success earlier, apparently not "enough".
I'm sorry to hear you are giving up.
I really thought you had what it takes.
A part of me wants you to feel shame for your failure;
But mostly, I hope you will come back, with resolve and confidence,
Hopefully before a medical event indicating permanent harm has occurred.
Sometimes, that is what it takes. It makes me sad.

[Cardsfan]

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!

[BlackSpinner]

Hmmm does a baby stop trying to walk after 2 weeks? Does it stop trying to talk?

My neighbour does everything you do - minus a leg (and also takes part in para-olympics) He didn't give up after 2 weeks.

Realize that you are giving up on health, life, brain function - after two weeks of trying.

[49er]

Hi Cudos,

I hope you will reconsider regarding giving up on pap therapy. But if you won't, please look at a dental device as you don't want to leave your apnea untreated.


Unfortunately, to be a candidate for most surgical procedures, many surgeons require that you give pap therapy a try for at least 6 months. If they don't, then they are too cut happy in my opinion.

Regarding the Inspire Implant Procedure, I believe you have to try pap therapy also for 6 months. I am too lazy to look it up so if I am wrong, my apologies.

I totally understand your frustrations but the issue is you need treatment. You may not think you do now but going without it will definitely catch up to you.

49er

[Cudos]

[quote="chunkyfrog"]
A part of me wants you to feel shame for your failure;


I don't feel shame, and shame on you for suggesting that I do!!

Tell you what i do feel. I do feel like I'm going to die in my sleep, not from APNEA but from that dam machine. It feels so wrong, intrusive and is actually physically making me ill. I'd like to know how many people have given up and NOT died. I'm glad you are having great success. The reality is that most if not all people who never succeed using a CPAP don't ever report back here.

I can't help the way I have responded. If someone can share with me the secret to falling asleep, not gasping repeatedly as I slowly start to drift off I will gladly continue. If someone would like to mail me one of their magic pills to try I will gladly try it. Ativan, Melatonin, excessive excersise, alcohol and sheer exhaustion have not worked thus far.

I don't have the luxury of submitting a sleepyhead report to be dissected because I can't generate one unless I'm awake!

So i should go ahead and buy a CPAP at this point seeing as my trial has ended????

Shame??? no more like frustration!!

[robysue]

Cudos,

You've written some inconsistent things.

Right now you are saying:

I cannot wear the FFM or P10 for more than an hour at any pressure, or should I say any therapeutic pressure. Ramp, no ramp, humidity , on, off, mixed, doesn't matter.

I cannot, repeat cannot exhale well enough to stave off the oxygen starved sensation I get in my gut. The anxiety and fight/flight response takes over and I have to take off the mask then I can blissfully fall asleep.

And yet back on April 11 you wrote:

Turned on ramp, watched tv for some time in bed with the mask, employing lots of the good tips I received here, even Grandma'a "its all in your head" may have helped a little too, Thanks gammy. I did manage to sleep, 7 hours in fact. I haven't downloaded to sleepyhead yet but resmed machine AI showed 4 AI's rather than the 14 I was diagnosed with. We'll see what my numbers looked like and I can post them for critiquing.

Hopefully last night was the start of the beginning of good nights now. If I could manage one that means I can manage to have more.

In my opinion you're giving up too soon.

[Cudos]

Cudos,

You've written some inconsistent things.

Right now you are saying:

I cannot wear the FFM or P10 for more than an hour at any pressure, or should I say any therapeutic pressure. Ramp, no ramp, humidity , on, off, mixed, doesn't matter.

I cannot, repeat cannot exhale well enough to stave off the oxygen starved sensation I get in my gut. The anxiety and fight/flight response takes over and I have to take off the mask then I can blissfully fall asleep.

And yet back on April 11 you wrote:

Turned on ramp, watched tv for some time in bed with the mask, employing lots of the good tips I received here, even Grandma'a "its all in your head" may have helped a little too, Thanks gammy. I did manage to sleep, 7 hours in fact. I haven't downloaded to sleepyhead yet but resmed machine AI showed 4 AI's rather than the 14 I was diagnosed with. We'll see what my numbers looked like and I can post them for critiquing.

Hopefully last night was the start of the beginning of good nights now. If I could manage one that means I can manage to have more.

In my opinion you're giving up too soon.

I cannot explain the 7 hours I "think" I slept. This was the first night. My machine was set and controlled by my RRT. It was set to Auto, and that was the last time it was set to auto because apparently I was having centrals all night and my RRT said that was a no no and set it to constant pressure. That was the LAST time I thing I managed to sleep with it on. I can only tell you what is has been going on for 2 weeks.

Do I just do 1 hour a night until I can increase? do i put up with the headaches I get, the lightheaded feeling I get, and the weird heart pangs i get all while using it? I was hopeful but at some point I have dial it back and let myself get back to normal and not this agitated hopeless state I'm in.

I'm going to return it tomorrow. I'm going to talk to my Ins co. and see if i can buy one direct from a distributor and claim it. This clinic I'm at wants 2.5 times the cost for the equipment and I have "NO" control over the settings.

So if i do get one I will be able to play with it on my time. Maybe I can work up some resistance. I just hope i'm not doing more harm than good because that is what it feels like.

[PEF]

Cudos - please, please do not give up. I have been struggling also for over 7 months, but with very different issues from yours. But I do believe the post above by jnk is correct, you probably need more pressure. I am doing fairly will now, not completely in the way I feel though. I do think I need more pressure, but have many, many unwanted awakenings because of mask leaks when I up the pressure even a little, probably because of my insomnia problems and sleep "terror" issues. If I did it, you can do it. My machine and Sleepyhead data suggest I am doing well, and I do feel better, but I think with more pressure, I could feel the way I want to feel. So I need to work on solving my insomnia issues.

I just regard this as work in progress. Please try to be patient with yourself and try to think of CPAP as a lifesaver - which it really is!

[Cudos]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. Going to get my ducks in a row and see what happens. I think I'm letting this sense of urgency that some keep pushing get to me.

Cheers

[Protectionist]

Never say your finished. Have you tried Bi-Maxillary oral appliance for diagnostic snoring and obstructive snoring which i understand contributes to sleep apnoea. you might need a tongue base reduction. consult your team of doctors.

[Michelle-OH]

It can take a long time to get used to this foreign thing we now have to use. Most of my coworkers gave up. The exhale was the hardest thing for me to get used to. Sometimes I still feel myself listening for my breath, and I've been using the machine since Dec. I used a variety of things to make it more workable for me, a dohm white noise machine, a pleasant lavender essential oil on a cotton ball near the intake to decrease the plastic smell, stopping the ramp, different levels of humidification, etc. What helps one person doesn't work for another. All that crap to adjust is worth it once you sleep thru the night, don't snore, no longer wake up with a headache each day, etc. I would encourage you to keep trying. I have friends who did great from day 1, but they are the exception...and I was jealous as hell of them. You can make it work.