feelings of rejection towards my mask

[bayourest]

I've been on CPAP since Nov 2010. After a number of initial struggles during the first 6 months or so I have been doing well and feeling well adjusted to my mask etc. At times I have felt like I really like my mask and I have generally been much happier about my increased energy. BUT NOW, in the last month or so, I am experiencing a huge rejection of my mask. I just dont want to wear it, I dont want to go to bed at night etc. I know SHOULD wear it yet I suddenly have had a terrible struggle feeling motivated to do so, despite the clear benefits of wearing it. I believe in this therapy and I have certainly experienced some measure of success with it but suddenly I am feeling so rebellious about it. If any of you veterans have had this experience and have any tips I'd appreciate it. In a way, I know I just have to "suck it up" but I'm having a tough time.

[BasementDwellingGeek]

This is probably not the proper response: Go a few nights without it. Wake up with headaches that last 'til noon and not be able to form a proper sentence until 10AM. Feel like a zombie all day long. Grow a pair and decide your mask is your friend and suck it up!

[RandyJ]

What about trying a new mask? If you don't have major issues with congestion you could consider a nasal or nasal pillows mask. It could stimulate you to feel differently.

[brucifer]

As the old saying goes, "you can bring a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink." You know what you need to do if you want your OSA to not get worse. This is something that you really have to do for yourself. I'm a diabetic, and I don't like testing my blood gucose and using insulin, but it's an important matter for my health, so I do it. Similarly, none of us actually likes to wear a mask before we sleep. We do it because it is necessary therapy. Hope you can find a way to get your mind back in the game. Good luck.

[BlackSpinner]

I know SHOULD wear it yet I suddenly have had a terrible struggle feeling motivated to do so, despite the clear benefits of wearing it. I believe in this therapy and I have certainly experienced some measure of success with it but suddenly I am feeling so rebellious about it. If any of you veterans have had this experience and have any tips I'd appreciate it. In a way, I know I just have to "suck it up" but I'm having a tough time.

First check your data. Make sure this is not related to inefficient therapy.

Then try journalling, focusing on your feelings about it and the mask. I find my attitude towards THINGS are usually a way my brain is channelling other issues. What else in your life can this rebellion be a metaphor for?

How about instead of "suck it up" using rewards?

I went through this with other chronic issues. When I had many migraines, I would get really upset at doing my relaxation exercises which helped cut their pain and frequency. I resent the 20 minutes a day that I could use for .... surfing the internet, reading and important stuff like that.

[jen4700]

You are NOT alone, and I think it happens from time to time no matter how long you've been on the hose. I took to cpap very easily, but I had this exact same feeling about a week ago. Luckily it just sort of went away. I think these sorts of feelings just need to be accepted for what they are. Try not to make it a "big deal". I think trying a new mask is a good idea. Good luck - hang in there!

[2kittymom]

Maybe a different mask would renew your compliance. Perhaps a nasal mask would feel like less was on your face. I'm only into CPAP one month now, but I have a DME tech that has let me try on lots of different mask styles (at home). I finally found the Mirage Micro, and it's so light, compared to others, that I just love it and look forward to sleeping well with it on. I also use scented oils so when I begin breathing, I have these wonderful smells to enjoy. Then, I listen to something on my iphone; meditation, music, books, talk radio - using an under pillow speaker. The initial listening totally takes my mind off of the mask - and off thinking, and I fall asleep pretty quick. I see that you currently use a full face mask. How about a nasal mask with a chin strap?

[ems]

I've been on CPAP since Nov 2010. After a number of initial struggles during the first 6 months or so I have been doing well and feeling well adjusted to my mask etc. At times I have felt like I really like my mask and I have generally been much happier about my increased energy. BUT NOW, in the last month or so, I am experiencing a huge rejection of my mask. I just dont want to wear it, I dont want to go to bed at night etc. I know SHOULD wear it yet I suddenly have had a terrible struggle feeling motivated to do so, despite the clear benefits of wearing it. I believe in this therapy and I have certainly experienced some measure of success with it but suddenly I am feeling so rebellious about it. If any of you veterans have had this experience and have any tips I'd appreciate it. In a way, I know I just have to "suck it up" but I'm having a tough time.

I experienced exactly the same thing a few months back after being 100% compliant for nearly a year. I handled it in a different way. I decided not to use it for awhile, a total of around 7 weeks. I realize that for various reasons this isn't a good idea for some people. Several weeks ago I decided I was ready to resume treatment. I've used the machine/mask every nite ever since.

[bayourest]

Thanks everyone!
I really appreciate all your posts. I just felt I was going nowhere alone on this and I knew I could count on the forum for some fresh insights!

[Airplaneman]

I have been good and compliant with CPAP for almost a year but trying to diet I have the same problem counting calories. I start being good and enthusiastic but it evolves into resentment and an unwillingness to continue in less than a month. I have not found the answer yet but feel the problem is very similar. Just try to be persistant. Sooner or later a path will presten itself I hope. Good luck.
-Airplane

[greatunclebill]

go to pulseoxstore and buy a cheap overnight recording pulse oximeter. when you see what your o2 levels drop to without cpap, you'll love your mask again.

[the_nap_ster]

This happened to me too, and I know that if I tried to "suck it up" and just keep using it, I'd get to the point where I was too resentful to use it at all.

For me, a break helped nip this in the bud. My break was only a few days long, but it was enough to reassure my brain that the mask was my friend and not my prison. To help prevent this from happening, I keep several masks around and switch up as desired. Some days it is the chin strap which feels mentally intolerable, so no problem, I wear my Liberty Hybrid. Some days I don't want anything hard against my face, so no problem, I put on my Pilairo. And sometimes (mainly if I'm congested), I want to feel that whoosh of humid air clear my sinuses -- those nights get the Aloha. I also have a few other masks in stock, and I tell myself that if one of them is irritating me, all I have to do is pick another. That has really helped me view my therapy in a very different way. Picking a mask to fit my mood feels very empowering, and much less confining.

(As I was babysitting my niece and nephew recently, I realized that my secret to success is basically to treat myself like a toddler. "Napster: would you like to wear the yellow shirt or the pink shirt?" Whatever, it works! )

[chunkyfrog]

If you are feeling down and unmotivated, perhaps a factor may be a temporary bout of depression.
Know that you are not alone, and that you matter. We are in your corner.
Now go buy a new mask, get a massage, or see a comedy.
It wouldn't hurt to get medical help if other means are ineffective.

[bayourest]

thanks again everyone
This forum is the best!
I have lots of new strategies now.
And I think I'll go rearrange my bedroom furniture right now!!

[jjmahern]

Also maybe try wearing mask with machine on during evenings before bed to get yourself used to it. That has helped me tremendously.