Re: OT: Moving again - Updated - Now moved

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:08 am

Between my sister and my self we have already made a pact to look after ourselves. By splitting the care between us two we will both get time to ourselves. I already go to knit nights every tuesday night when I am there. The women there are wonderfully supportive. In fact one of them took me aside back in May and had a long talk with me as she had gone through a similar thing with her mother. She helped by showing me the options I had and helped me plan this in case I needed to move there.

Once I am there, my stuff is there and the renos are finished (NO I am NOT doing them) and all the junk is gone I will join the senior centre down the street and start working out and taking the yoga course. I will need to take on more for the first few months so my sister can heal but after that we can get a balance going.

I have 5 boxes packed - all my yarn and fabrics that are going are packed - the important stuff. I have big bags of yarn and fabric scraps that are going to a centre where they do art therapy with kids. I have big bags of clothes that either no longer fit or that are corporate suit stuff that are going to the charity shop. So things are moving well.

Bright Choice · Post by **Bright Choice** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 12:30 pm

Blessings to you for making this move to be daughter/caregiver. Be kind to yourself in the transition. I know it's pretty easy to get worn out in the process but I believe that you will look on this decision as one of the best you have made.

Good luck!!

Kairosgrammy · Post by **Kairosgrammy** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 12:34 pm

Lots of changes. Take care of yourself in the midst of the bustle.

BlackSpinner wrote:Yes I am moving again. Hopefully it will not be -34C on March 8th like it was last time I moved. I am also not going to have any hospital procedures done.
I am moving to Edmonton to go and live with my parents to help my sister look after them.
I am giving up my wonderful light filled studio, my privacy, my garden that I spent all last summer digging out, my housemates and friends and most of my possessions to do this.
I am moving into my parents basement, supervising the renovations to the bathroom and hoping I can get the workshop into clean enough shape so I can turn it into a studio.

When I was there this time i realized that my sister couldn't cope anymore. Mom needs both a day shift and a night shift now and Jo is just fried. So I made it clear to my parents I was doing it for her, not just them. Also for my self. I can't keep flying back and forth, where ever I am my thoughts are at the other place.

Without the cpap machine I would never have been able to do this.

Two boxes packed with yarn. Now to go through the fabrics, I have 3 weeks to get organized. Find movers, do taxes, sort and pack, help my housemates find another roommate.... the list is long. So if I seem a bit more abrasive then usual, you can handle it, you are big boys and girls.

Oh and the dog was sick (infected paw) when I got home on Sunday night so I spent the first day back at the vets.

robysue · Post by **robysue** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 3:14 pm

Blackspinner,

My heart goes out to you and your family. Making such a decision is never easy. And you are a special person to be willing to do this service to your family.

Best of luck,
Robysue

rosacer · Post by **rosacer** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 4:12 pm

Blackspinner

I applaud your determination, it's something really good what you are doing for your family and a hard decision for sure. I wish you all the best in your new ''demeure''.

I need to add that you are very nice to take the time to think at sending your belongings you will not need to a charity organization, thumbs up to you lady!

Rosie

Kiralynx · Post by **Kiralynx** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 4:26 pm

Good Luck to you, BlackSpinner!

Moving isn't easy... may all go smoothly, and may the time you have with your folks go well!

portiemom · Post by **portiemom** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 6:39 pm

BlackSpinner, you are a true blessing to your parents, and an inspiration to all of us who may have to face this same decision in the future. I wish you a smooth transition, and many great moments with your family during this new chapter in your life. God Bless!
Ellen

SleepingUgly · Post by **SleepingUgly** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 6:46 pm

Best of luck during this tough transition.

HoseCrusher · Post by **HoseCrusher** » Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:38 pm

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:18 pm

Well everything is packed and the movers picked up the 20 boxes on Monday. I gave away about 8 Big garden garbage bags of yarn, fabric, notions, costumes and clothes to a local art therapy centre that works with kids here.

My suitcase is packed and tomorrow I have a 7am flight (which means I have to get up at 4am). The dog and cat will follow in about 2 months when the reno of the bathroom and basement are finished. It will be less stressful for them here my housemates.

I am so stressed - in the last 5 days I have eaten 4 big bags of potato chips and dip, innumerable chocolate bars and candy and slept really badly. I keep wanting to organize my housemates in their search for a new housemate, redecorate for them etc. They laugh and tell me they can handle it and let me move some things around.

It has been a rough 4 weeks - there have been about 4 snow storms, the animals have needed medical attention. My youngest daughter was here for a week and needed mama time. My asthma has been acting out. Things in Edmonton have been tricky but that is why I am going there. I am really having trouble of letting go of the house and the city and my life here. Probably because I am so ambivalent still about the move. Unlike the others this doesn't feel like a going forward. There is no sense of release with this move.

chunkyfrog · Post by **chunkyfrog** » Wed Mar 07, 2012 1:08 pm

Enjoy the time you have with your parents.
You will never consider the time lost or wasted.
New surroundings may open you up to new opportunities, new friends, maybe even new interests.
Keep your eyes open; I can easily imagine you making the best damn lemonade ever!

hades161 · Post by **hades161** » Wed Mar 07, 2012 1:52 pm

My best wishes to you and your parents.

I understand the need to help your parents and commend you for it. To many people don't have the heart or simply don't care about their parents. They put them in homes or other places of private care so they don't have to bother messing up their precious little lives. They come up with excuses like better care, more comfortable, needs hourly medical care. The truth is all of these things can be dealt with.

When my father was given 6 months to live, due to a rare form of Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma that had reached End Stage before being found, many people were shocked that I didn't put him in a home to die. Instead my Father, my son, and I made a go of it. My son was young but he loved his grampa and helped anyway he could. He got to spend 3 years more with my Father, they did a lot together that simply never would have happened otherwise. If I had put him in a home I am sure he would have died within months instead of years and we would have lost out on all we did with him before he passed.

It messed up my life on all fronts and destroyed my finances, I still have leftovers from that time in my life but I will never regret it and would do it again.
My Father wanted to die with family, at his HOME, not alone in some place with strangers who are "paid" to care. I gave him that.

Take Care of yourself too during this time, take care of them for sure but never feel guilty for taking some time out for yourself. You will go mad if you don't
I recommend finding something you can do just for you, away from home, and fit it in.

Good Luck and Best Wishes.

SleepingUgly · Post by **SleepingUgly** » Wed Mar 07, 2012 2:03 pm

Black Spinner, best of luck during this tumultuous time. Hopefully as one door of happiness closes, another one of greater happiness will open...

portiemom · Post by **portiemom** » Wed Mar 07, 2012 6:51 pm

Change is not easy, and I really hate them myself, that said, I agree that when we begin a new chapter in our lives regardless of the reason, we are in fact moving forward, sometimes, yes it feels as if we are being PUSHED forward. In the short time I've had to get to know a little about you (albeit it through posts here), you seem to be a very positive, intuitive gal, with lots of uplifiting messages to others, and that my new friend tells me you are "awsome" and will have a wonderful new experience. That said, treasure this time with family, even in the rough time, I lost my mom at 11, and I would have cared for her for a lifetime, if I'd have had that option. God Bless you for having such a kind heart! My prayers and blessings are coming your way!!

sandman19 · Post by **sandman19** » Wed Mar 07, 2012 7:44 pm

Good Luck! Please take care of yourself. Sandman19