SEVERE Apnea affecting mental functioning??? Please Help!

[sickwithapnea17]

yeah it's terrible for some reason my memory and brain doesn't work like it used to- I can't do abstract thought that well and have trouble concentrating

[NightMonkey]

What about the software? Will someone tell WGF how to get and use the software for that machine? Is the card reader going to be a problem?

I will pray that a tonsillectomy, if medically appropriate, will bring major relief for BF.

[Mr Bill]

Hi worried_girfriend welcome to the board. I had several months of having a hard time getting used to my mask. One way I used to convince myself that I needed it was that I owned a recording pulse oximeter. Sleeping with that on makes it very clear that mask on, one is getting sleep and oxygen; wheras mask off, and O2 levels plummet and its easy to see why brain cells and heart and arteries are being stressed. It was pretty clear each morning that sleeping without the mask was harming me and did not really count as sleep.

Accommodation to the mask takes some time. Partly its convincing the sleeping mind that the mask is OK and partly its keeping oneself from feeling panic. That may take several weeks. But every time he gets a good night of sleep he will feel so much better the next day that he will start jonesing for sleeping longer and better to feel that good again. I plateaued at 4-4.5 hours a night for a couple months due to insomnia. Paradoxically, once you get a little sleep, having been severely sleep deprived it then becomes a struggle to get a LOT of sleep. I was getting just enough sleep to make me realize just how tired I had been. Prior to getting even that sleep, I was so tired, that I could not feel the tiredness. Finally persistence paid off and I made it up past 6 hours a night. Its a whole new world, getting enough sleep.

Lastly, as you start getting more quality sleep, the swallowing and breathing reflexes get better. Now I can drink water while hosed up. I think with practice, he may find that he can keep his mouth closed. A nasal mask is probably easier to keep fitted than a face mask.

[robysue]

yeah it's terrible for some reason my memory and brain doesn't work like it used to- I can't do abstract thought that well and have trouble concentrating
I really want to drop all my classes this semester for medical reasons, but then I don't know if I can get a refund

sickwithapnea,

I'm a college professor. At the place I teach students can file for a medical withdrawal from all their classes. If they withdraw early enough in the semester, they may be able to get some of the money back. That can be petitioned if need be.

The place to start asking questions is at the Dean of Students office. Or the Dean's office for the school/division that your home department belongs to.

The time to start asking questions about a medical withdrawal is NOW---not in several more weeks.

[sickwithapnea17]

thanks very much! I just hope my 73% O2 is enough to get a refund
yeah you can see how this disease can destroy your career if you don't treat it
I used to pull all nighters almost every night, but now I have barely the energy to type or exercise

[n0hardmask]

...You seem like a very caring person. I hear that you feel that if the man is "incompetent" by virtue of OSA than you have to stand by him, but if he's just a disorganized and incompetent guy, you might not feel the same level of commitment. I know everyone is going to jump on me for saying this, but... In my opinion, he's not your child (and in fact he's not even your spouse), so I don't think you need to feel that you must stay with him even if we could prove that he's incompetent by virtue of OSA. You were looking for a partner, not a child. I think you'll feel better about your role if you feel it's a choice to be with him (one that you can rethink at a later date), rather than thinking that you must stay with him because the poor guy loves you and can't help that he has OSA and what kind of person leaves a guy like that... Whether impaired by virtue of OSA, ADHD, low IQ, poor parenting, bad peer models, or anything else you can think of, it's not your fault and you shouldn't have to give up your dreams of having a partner because you stumbled into this. If you love the guy and want to give him a chance to improve his life with your help, that's great. Give him a chance and see what happens. You can always reassess later. Personally I'd make my staying contingent on his active pursuit of treatment. But that's just me. My tolerance for lack of cooperation with treatment would be very low if I were working as hard as you are. In short, he must be as committed to improving his life as you are committed to helping him do so.
That's my two cents.

Hi and welcome to the peculiar world of Sleep Apnea. You've found a super resource here: this forum is full of very knowledgable folks in many areas of life.
I'd like to add to SleepingUgly's comments, suggesting you approach this topic a little later on, after you're out of the crisis mode. Right now, you need to be directing things, but it is something you will want to do only temporarily. I myself am an obstinate type A person and find it natural to 'run the show'. This has caused a lot of issues in our relationship and I'm trying to learn to be more of a sharing partner than a boss, little by little. I can attest: it's painfully tough to quit being the director - even if it's a caretaker situation that led to it.
This OSA crisis that neither of you asked for has radically altered your relationship for a while. It may very well take a conscious effort to revert back to a balanced relationship as BF comes out of his OSA fog. I'm simply suggesting that as the physical health situation improves, you will likely need to adjust the relationship so that it's more balanced, and you're not the eternal enforcer. It would probably be better that I post this thought a couple months down the line, but who knows what I'll be distracted with by then. Hopefully, you can file this away and refer to it when it's appropriate. God Bless you both. earl

[worried_girfriend]

Thank you to all the new replies and support! Sorry I haven't been on in a couple days, it's pretty busy around here!

We're still waiting for the nose/throat specialist to see about any possible future surgeries.. in the meantime he's been wearing his mask with much less resistance! 3 days in a row and I think I started to see an improvement... he seems a bit more clear, didn't lose or break as many things as normal lol

Sleepingugly & nohardmask: Thank you for your comments, the emotional aspect seems to be even more difficult than the physical sometimes! I'm taking things one step at a time. As long as he keeps being consistent with his mask I'm happy for now. I'll see how things change over the next 3 months or so and try not to reevaluate till then. He is amazing and I love so much about him, I owe it to both of us to see this through. (Sleepingugly you really got it right when you said "if he's just a disorganized and incompetent guy you might not feel the same level of commitment"... even though I feel terrible for feeling this way) **hoping big changes are ahead**


**He does wear a chin strap already, but I think you're all right we should get a full face as well to at least compare.