Ode to Nasal Pillows

General Discussion on any topic relating to CPAP and/or Sleep Apnea.
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mikemoran
Posts: 760
Joined: Sun May 15, 2005 1:02 pm

Ode to Nasal Pillows

Post by mikemoran » Mon Nov 28, 2005 11:10 am

As I lay me down to sleep
Against my nostrils I must keep
Those bits of silicone delivering air
Gently resting against each nare

With CPAP pumping with gusto and zeal
I strive mightily for that perfect seal
Doing everything to avoid a confining mask
I lay out my arsenal to accomplish this task

To eliminate nose fluting I so greatly fear
Panty hose and jockstrap to supplement the head gear
To conquer that mouth from being agape
Binder clips, wood clamps and of course duct tape

To ensure integrity of that critical connection
I have concocted my own special nose candy confection
KY, OroGel, Neosporin and Ayr are all part of the brew
With liberal doses of the secret ingredient - Super Glue

Success has been mine and none of my air is misspent
But now each nostril has its own pillow resident
So ecstatic am I in spite of their awkward placement
Now to convince all they are the latest fashion statement


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deedster
Posts: 53
Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2005 1:11 pm
Location: Arlington, Texas

Post by deedster » Mon Nov 28, 2005 1:42 pm

He's at it again!

Thanks for the day brightener!
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep well?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' Steven Wright

Guest

poetic Mike

Post by Guest » Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:01 pm

you just made me smile (after a bad computer day) thank you thank you

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:04 pm

Will have to try the SUPER GLUE. Should be the final solution.

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Jerry69
Posts: 334
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:10 am
Location: The Villages, Florida

Mike, the Poet

Post by Jerry69 » Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:18 pm

Very good! It would take me weeks to compose something like that.

Jerry69

_________________
MachineMask
Un-treated AHI = 9.5
Titrated prssure: 6 cm
Ave. AHI after therapy = 0.5
Ave. Snore Index = <10
Current pressure = 9 cm

Guest

Re: Ode to Nasal Pillows

Post by Guest » Mon Nov 28, 2005 11:32 pm

mikemoran wrote:Panty hose and jockstrap to supplement the head gear,
Binder clips, wood clamps and of course duct tape,
KY, OroGel, Neosporin and Ayr are all part of the brew
With liberal doses of the secret ingredient - Super Glue,
Now to convince all they are the latest fashion statement
LOL !
Could you maybe post a picture, in "full uniform" ??

(excellent!)


User avatar
Ric
Posts: 608
Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2005 5:41 pm
Location: Left Coast

Post by Ric » Tue Nov 29, 2005 1:19 am

guest wrote:LOL !
Could you maybe post a picture
ooops, that was me, got "guested" again.
LOVE your sense of humor!
I am still in "culture shock" in the land of the "hoseheads".
Till recently I didn't know it existed.
Now I are one! YIKES!!!

The levity helps.

-Ric


(on second thought, hold the picture.)
He who dies with the most masks wins.