OT: Teens and Cell Phones

[jbn3boys]

I'd like to ask all the parents of teens out there....what do your teens have for cell phones?

When our son started high school this fall (age 14), we bought him a TracFone, with 1,000 minutes good for a year. If he chooses to text, he can get 3 texts per minute of airtime. He agreed to this, and thought he might have to add some minutes before the year was up, but seemed happy enough with it. Now, nearly half way through his freshman year, he has decided that his phone is "terrible" and that NO ONE has such a limited a plan as he does. He claims EVERYONE has unlimited texting, and that he NEEDS this, too. (For background, we live in a very rural setting, and he doesn't really go anywhere except home, school, and church activities.)

So, if you have teens at home, what do YOU do for cell phone for them? Do they have unlimited minutes? unlimited texts? Smartphones with web access (my son's dream)? who pays for the phone? the plan? I'd love to hear what others are doing.

[Madalot]

I have two teens and cell phone/texting is a major thorn in my side. Personally, I think it should be like alcohol - don't give it to them until they're 21!!

Phones: We gave them each their phone for Christmas a couple years ago, the younger child waiting a year before he got his. We added the lines to our existing plan. Texting was NOT a part of this for a while, perhaps two years. It was the phone and nothing else, despite crying and protests from my daughter. Too bad, so sad.

They do not have internet access or downloading capabilities. They want that, they can get their own phone/plan and pay for it themselves.

When we added texting, we gave our daughter a limited plan, but the phone company gave me bad information about in plan/out of plan texting and she used up half of her monthly allotment in one day. In the end, we decided to get an unlimited FAMILY texting plan. All of us now have unlimited texting to anyone, on any network.

Now here's the kicker. My daughter went absolutely nuts with texting and at her peak, was texting around 10,000 per month. Yes, I did say 10,000. She became so addicted to texting that she pretty much wasn't doing anything else.

We tried talking to her, discussing it and she promised to do better, but did not. We took it away, gave it back, took it away, gave it back -- endless cycle of stupidity.

Right now, she is only allowed to text certain people during certain hours. If not during those hours, she must give her cell phone to me since she cannot resist temptation to cheat if she has access to her phone.

I hate cell phones and texting and what they are doing to people in general. I think the majority of teenagers, including mine, just are not mature enough to handle the texting. They feel they NEED to be in constant contact with their friends and will do it via texting if you let them.

[TOken]

I hate cell phones and texting and what they are doing to people in general. I think the majority of teenagers, including mine, just are not mature enough to handle the texting. They feel they NEED to be in constant contact with their friends and will do it via texting if you let them.

Let's not forget the complete absence of social skills now.
Go to your local public library at around 3:00PM on any weekday. You can watch the teenagers line up to use the free computers and internet access.
They will all stand quietly in line, and not say a word to anyone, then get on the computer and begin an instant message conversation with the person they were standing next to in line for the last 30 minutes.

Of course, my posting this rant on an internet forum does wreak of irony.

[Janknitz]

My daughter has had a cell phone since 7th grade, when she had to find her own way home from school via city bus and get to religious school one day a week. It was a life-saver the first day she had it--she has a poor direction sense and got lost within 1 block of her school trying to walk to religious school--she was going completely the opposite direction from where she should have been!

We have always emphasized to her RESPONSIBLE use, with the stick that IRRESPONSIBLE use would mean we'd take the phone away. She was given a limited share of our family plan (which has a generous amount of minutes on it) and no texting. She could make unlimited calls to friends on the same network. When she wanted to text, we made her contribute the cost of adding texting to her phone, first $5 per month for 250 texts, then $10 for 500. She knows how to check the number of texts (remember, this includes texts sent to her) and if she is getting close she is responsible for either shutting down her texting or letting me know AND paying to add another 250 to her plan. Once she went three texts over her limit for a cost of $0.45. No biggie.

I have never had to take the phone away from her--she knows we mean it when we say we will, and does not give us the opportunity to have to. Personally I like having the ability to contact her any time and anywhere. Her highschool has been on lockdown three times this year, and knowing she was OK was great for me. I had access to news, so she was comforted to know what was going on as well (all 3 were false alarms, one caused when a schoolmate "buttdialed" 9-1-1 on his cell phone at about the same time another classmate was joking to someone that he was "going to shoot" someone for grabbing his pencil!). I like being able to text her when she is in class, knowing she will see my text when class is over and will get the message.

I think this has helped her learn responsibility. Shall we talk about the time she left her phone in the pocket and it went through the wash. This happened to TWO phones in two weeks! Make sure you buy that insuurance! BTW, she wanted a fancier phone to make texting easier and she paid for it herself. And the deductibles for the ruined phones.

[scrapper]

When I was a teen, I was on the phone ALL OF THE TIME. When I got a job, I got my own line with a phone with a cord......

When my daughter was a teen, she was on the slow, dial up internet ALL OF THE TIME with her friends....to the point that we put in a second line just for the internet.

Five years later, the son and his friends communicate only by text. He is texting ALL OF THE TIME. He often has 13000-15000 texts a month! Obviously we have an unlimited plan.

I figure that each generation was their own primary or preferred method of communication.

My kids are wonderful, well-adjusted kids with lots of friends who are generally responsible and respectful. They are active at school and at church..

The nice thing about kids having one preferred thing like a cell phone or a phone line, is that the minute their behavior does not conform to the family standards--the cell phone goes on the refridgerator or the phone line gets unplugged.

Life isn't always easy--and while I never give in to the best phone or the biggest plan with all of the "extra" options, I do pick my battles.........and texting--or whatever the NEED of the generation is--isn't one I choose to pick. I use it to my advantage--getting lots more communication out of my teen when I'm not in their presence.

[allen476]

I'd like to ask all the parents of teens out there....what do your teens have for cell phones?

When our son started high school this fall (age 14), we bought him a TracFone, with 1,000 minutes good for a year. If he chooses to text, he can get 3 texts per minute of airtime. He agreed to this, and thought he might have to add some minutes before the year was up, but seemed happy enough with it. Now, nearly half way through his freshman year, he has decided that his phone is "terrible" and that NO ONE has such a limited a plan as he does. He claims EVERYONE has unlimited texting, and that he NEEDS this, too. (For background, we live in a very rural setting, and he doesn't really go anywhere except home, school, and church activities.)

So, if you have teens at home, what do YOU do for cell phone for them? Do they have unlimited minutes? unlimited texts? Smartphones with web access (my son's dream)? who pays for the phone? the plan? I'd love to hear what others are doing.

I work for a cellular company in customer service. And I can relay what I tell people on an almost daily basis.

Around the age of 10 to 11 kids want their own phone. Not a problem. Get them a disposable phone (i.e. Tracphone, Virgin Mobile, Boost, etc. ) When they can prove that they can be responsible with it and not lose it or run up a huge bill (which you can't with a disposable, you will just go through your minutes in nothing flat) then think about a post paid phone. If he has had this phone for about 4 months, take a look at his minute usage and see if it is talking or texting that has used the most. Being teen's, it will more than likely be texting.

If you have a plan with a carrier, then you might want to consider getting him on your plan and going to a talk and text plan or adding a texting package to his phone. But I will say that you will want to block data, downloads, and web. Teen's think that downloading all of their music (at $1.99/song) or updating their Facebook status while on the bus is cool. What isn't cool is the bill when they have used 120MB of data at $1.99/MB because you forgot to block services.

If you look at the usage, and he seems to be telling you the truth, then by all means get him a better phone. DO NOT GET HIM A SMARTPHONE (Droids, Blackberry's, iPhones, etc). It will require a data package that will be anywhere from $15-$40/month plus if he loses it, it will cost anywhere from $70 (if using insurance) to $600 to replace it. Just get him a feature phone.


Allen

[nanwilson]

My granddaughter got at cell phone at age 15...because everyone else had one. Well, Mom is a single Mom struggling to pay the bills, so my granddaughter got herself a job. Now she pays her own cell phone, all of her clothes and whatever else she wants...and she's now 16. A very responsible girl I must say...she must take after me!!!
Cheers
N

[jlk]

Nan, Glad to hear your granddaughter is so responsible, a lot of kids these days are not so much so. Part of it is the throw-away generation we have become. Our daughter, who is 14, got her first cel phone at 10, she was one of the early ones in her peer group to have one. She had to work at our business 1 hour per month for the privilege. I did the insurance for the first few months, then seen she was taking good care of the phone, so I cancelled it. She was aware if the phone was lost or broken, the next one was an old retired one. We live a few miles from a small town of 4000 people and have a sense of safety unlike large cities, so the entire neighboor-hood has kids going from house to house without much worry, the wife and I wanted to know where she was at all times. I grew up in this neighboor-hood and realize times have changed, but kids need to be kids also. She was allowed 250 texts at 12 and was very good at keeping track of usage. She was so good at it, her and my wife traded phones when daughters texts were nearly gone, and used from my wife's available limit, she is good at figuring things like that out. I allowed her unlimited texting last year and she has been sending/receiving around 5000 per month. I don't understand it, but it is part of the times, I guess. My parents didn't understand when I had to get a newly released 8 track either. She cannot text during dinner or homework and is limited when friends are visiting. She now works 2 hours per month at our business, either doing light bookwork, computer entries, odd jobs....She has a few hours to catch up before she can update her phone, but will not be getting internet capability. She has a laptop for homework and for e-mailing. I think this generation is loosing writing skills due to texting, lol. She seems in the center of most of the social circles. Every morning there are texts to send and an e-mail or two. About half of her classmates have cel phones and texting capabilities, the rest have to resort to the "dark ages" and send e-mails. They can definately be abused, but can teach responsibility also. Our daughter shares a lot of "goings on" when I drive her to school, something I am very glad for. My wife and her have a very open relationship also, something we are very thankful for. I would not want to be a kid these days. john

[geoffc]

I recommend Y'all check out kajeet.com

It is a prepaid cell service for kids. It has parental controls on calls and texting including limiting the time and days of the week they can text or make calls, with exceptions eg. Allow calls/text to mom and dad all the time, no other texting or calling during school hours or between 9pm and 7 am.

GPS service to tell you where your kid is, w/ GPS alerts, such as send allert when they get to school, when they get home, when they get to Sally or Joe's house, etc.

I do not work for them, it just looks cool....rates are pretty good too. I have a 9 year old who is begging for a phone, and if/when she gets one, It will probably be from kajeet instead of adding her to my ATT account. I believe they use Sprint's network.

Geoff

[idamtnboy]

For what I think would quite a good deal for teen's phones go to kittywireless.com and check out their offering for pageplus.com prepaid phone service. I have service with them, 1200 minutes + 1200 texts + 50 mb data for $30.00/mo. Pageplus runs on the Verizon network and you have to use a phone that will work on Verizon network. You pay for every minute though, no family plans offered.

[brazospearl]

Ah, the joys of parenting teenagers! They go to sleep your sweet kid one night, the teenager fairy comes by and sucks their brains out of their ears while injecting hormones, and your sweet kid wakes up with a bad attitude and a snarly demeanor. As a teacher, I've dealt with literally hundreds of teens, and I know they can be quite annoying when they want something. I can also state that most of my students apparently have lots of text time on their phones.

If your finances at the moment don't allow for increased texting or a less-lame phone, you've got no problem ("I'd love to help you out, son, but no can do right now!") If the economics allow for a "better" phone or more texting, the situation is different. I'd probably go Love and Logic on him, explaining that the phone he currently has was provided for YOU to stay in constant touch with him, that any interaction with his friends was a bonus, it'd sure be nice if he had a different phone and more minutes, and (since the current phone easily does its job of keeping you in touch with him) what is his plan to get a "better" phone and more minutes. I'd tell him to get back to me when he'd figured it out. The trick is to say this like you mean it (pretty easy, because you do!) and to NOT engage in any sort of conversation that appears to be wheedling, whining, accusatory, or annoying in any way. He wants a new phone & a new plan, he needs to figure out how to make it happen.

Good luck!

[kempo]

I have an iPhone 4, my wife has an iPhone 3gs, and my daughter, who is in college, got an iphone 4 for Christmas. We have unlimited texting and we stay in touch. Twenty years ago I would have never believed I would be carrying around the internet with all of its information, all of my music, and all of my pictures in my pocket. I use it for online banking, paying bills, buying items from ebay and from all of the major retail stores. I buy and sell stocks from my broker with it, keep up with the weather, the news, and sports. All of the information thats in it is backed up on my laptop. Oh yea, it's also a phone.

I would never deny my daughter such a useful tool.

[rosiefrosie]

I have an iPhone 4, my wife has an iPhone 3gs, and my daughter, who is in college, got an iphone 4 for Christmas. We have unlimited texting and we stay in touch. Twenty years ago I would have never believed I would be carrying around the internet with all of its information, all of my music, and all of my pictures in my pocket. I use it for online banking, paying bills, buying items from ebay and from all of the major retail stores. I buy and sell stocks from my broker with it, keep up with the weather, the news, and sports. All of the information thats in it is backed up on my laptop. Oh yea, it's also a phone.

I would never deny my daughter such a useful tool.

I have to agree. I have a Blackberry and love it. Who would have thought? My grandson, who is 7 months, had his second lung surgery at the University of Minnesota Pediatric Heart unit. Which I have to give them a huge plug as they are one of the better in the country and do amazing work. It was so nice to be able to keep in touch by phone, texting and to get real time pictures all on my phone. Granted I don't have teenagers, as my kids have kids and their own homes. Some of my older grandchildren, not yet in their teens, have phones and it's a great way to keep in touch with them and they don't abuse their privileged with the phones. One of the biggest problems they have with their cell phones is that they can never find them. They really are useful tools.

rosie

[Madalot]

I think the technology is great and I'm all for teens having it as well IF they can be responsible, balance its use and not let it become the ONLY thing in their life.

We went shopping one day and my daughter and I decided to stay in the van waiting for the boys. A car pulled up next to us with a young man driving and a young lady (teen it seemed) in the passenger seat. She had a phone or some device and was busily handling it, likely texting. The car parked and he turned off the ignition, but she never looked up, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they had arrived at their destination. I brought my daughter's attention to it because I wanted her to see what I considered to be a serious problem with a person's "addiction" to this technology.

They sat in the car for a few minutes and I swear, that girl never stopped texting and never looked up. The young man must have said something to her because she finally unbuckled her seatbelt and started to open the door, but I swear -- she never missed a beat on texting. She got out of the car and started to walk between our vehicles but because she refused to give up her technology long enough to do something (like walk), she walked right into the back of my van! Even my daughter was shocked by it.

Do you think it made her stop texting? Not for a second.

I've had people, usually teens, walk right into me in a store because they can't stop texting. My daughter tried it one time (to text while walking in a store) and I told her if it happened again, I was turning off her texting.

I love my technology like the next person, but I believe a vast majority of people today feel that because they CAN be in constant touch with friends and family, it's NECESSARY and use their technology at times they should be focused on other things -- like walking or driving. Or maybe visiting in person with a friend.

[donnafowler]

Our daughters got cell phones around their junior year of HS. They are two years apart in age--each had to wait until their junior year--I was the mean Mom that made them wait. Each was getting ready to do their senior year through a special program at a nearby college and would be driving back and forth every day and I needed to be able to keep track of them if a problem came up--so far we have had flat tires, one empty gas tank, and a windshield wiper arm that broke and flew off the car! We bought a small texting plan for the family, and it was really nice to feel my phone buzz every day to let me know they made it to school safely. At that point most of the texts were between our four family members.

Last year our younger daughter began dating a boy in college several hundred miles away, and we increased our plan to an unlimited one. She averages around 3000 texts per month--mostly to him, but lots to us as well. After reading some of the numbers of texts above, I feel better! 10,000--whew!

The youngest student I have had with a cell phone was a kindergartener! Her phone rang one day during class and we had to take it up (in our county, cell phones are not allowed at school until high school, and then they must be left in the car--book bags/back packs are not allowed in HS either). Her father was really angry that she could not have her cell phone at school so he could make calls to her throughout the day. He did not get it that phone calls are disruptive to the class.

I think so much depends on your personal situation--are the kids out and about alot (ours were not) are they working, are they driving alone (ours were mostly always together), what kind of area you live in, how responsible is the kid (some are very responsible, some not so much). Like any other aspect of parenting, it is a feel your way in the dark kind of thing.