CPAP Bartender’s Guide

The other day while I was filling my heated humidifier with my cocktail sized amount of distilled water a marvelous thought struck me. My doctor prescribed to me an electronic bedside drink dispenser. Just think how compliant this would make all of us. Not only a better night sleep but rain out would become something to look forward to. Sure your mask might leak but who would care. So with a little experimentation I have come up with the following All Night Caps:

The No-Bondtini – Vodka with a touch of vermouth will guarantee you are not shaken nor stirred throughout the night.

Crushed Velvet Fog – White wine with some crushed Mel (Melatonin that is) will have you floating in the clouds.

Resting Away Again – Tequila and Triple sec will definitely turn you into the perfect Parrot Air Head and the dash of salt will keep those sinuses clear.

The Slept Charge – For those of us who are a little more pedestrian in their tastes. Fill the humidifier pan with bourbon and top off the tank with your favorite beer

The Harvey Wallhanger – Vodka, orange juice and Galliano all filtered through your favorite pantyhose (a twist of Scrunchy is optional).

Sex On The Bed – Spice up your dream life with some vodka, orange juice, cranberry juice and peach schnapps.

The Snooze Driver – This classic favorite of orange juice and Vodka will have you drilling down into your pillow nicely.

Pina Snoozealada – If you like sweet summer rain out then pineapple juice, coconut milk and rum is the one for you.

.The Bull Dozer – A full nights sleep and waking raring to go are the main ingredients with a dash of Red Bull, Tequila and Vodka to get you there.

Sure some may say that this might lead to other kinds of therapy. If you find yourself buying a battery powered CPAP to slip into your desk drawer then you might want to seek professional help. So until then don your mask, turn on your CPAP and suck up as many drinks as you can.

You might have something really going here......
The alcohol could serve a second purpose to kill the bacteria that all the scientists say grows in our humidifier tanks!

Silly Man Moran,

Thank you for starting my day with a Big Chuckle!!!!!! I'd stay and chat, but I need to run to the LIQUOR STORE!!!! TEE HEE TEE HEE!!!!!!!

CD

Way cool, man! Now I can alternate between a drink dispenser and a bong. I be one happy dude! Peace.

rain, rain, don't go away!!!

crazyone,

You took the words right out of my mouth! (Hey, wasn't that a line in a song?)


Mike,

I've been wondering what I could put in my humidifier to enhance my sleep.....now I know. Hmmmmm.....now, which one should I try?

Keep it up, "crazy man".

Den

Sex on the bed sounds great, but I don't like peaches!

JimmyKSenior wrote:Way cool, man! Now I can alternate between a drink dispenser and a bong. I be one happy dude! Peace.

I pondered this one for a while....
Then realized that this concept must really reduce the harshness on your throat. Combined with the heated hose and a few alterations, some flower child must be in real heaven out there somewhere.

crazyone wrote:

JimmyKSenior wrote:Way cool, man! Now I can alternate between a drink dispenser and a bong. I be one happy dude! Peace.

I pondered this one for a while....
Then realized that this concept must really reduce the harshness on your throat. Combined with the heated hose and a few alterations, some flower child must be in real heaven out there somewhere.

Bill,

Haven't you ever heard of what Peaches are slang for? Think about it dude. I think you like them.

JimH wrote:Haven't you ever heard of what Peaches are slang for? Think about it dude. I think you like them.

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