OT?: New OSA procedure

[Snorebert]

New Twist on Treatment for Obstructive Sleep Apnea

Los Angeles, April 1/HHNewswire -- A Southern California plastic surgeon has developed a procedure that promises to aid millions of sufferers of Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA). OSA is a medical condition that causes the patient to have multiple interruptions in breathing while asleep. This causes constant fatigue in the patient and can lead to high blood pressure and even death.

Traditional therapy for OSA patients is the use of a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) device. The CPAP provides a continuous flow of air that forces the airway to remain open, allowing the patient to sleep more soundly.

The primary problem with this therapy has been that the facemask that the patient straps on is seldom a perfect fit for his or her face. Air that leaks out from the mask is annoying to the patient and reduces the effectiveness of the therapy. It often causes the patient to eventually give up on the therapy.

Dr. Alfred F. Day, F.A.C.S. of Orange County, CA has developed a procedure that he says will overcome the leaking mask problem. Dr. Day performs what he calls “CPAP sculpting” to actually alter the patient’s face to properly fit the CPAP mask. “Tiny grooves, almost imperceptible to the naked eye, are carved into the patient’s face to allow the CPAP masks to fit snugly and securely. Low areas of the patient’s face can also be built up with the injections of tiny amounts of skin cells from the patient’s leg. This all creates a perfect, leak-free fit for the CPAP mask.”

The experimental procedure, developed in partnership with a new CPAP mask manufacturer, Snoozel, Inc. has been tested successfully on over 20 patients and Dr. Day predicts that FDA approval should be forthcoming by year end.

Inquiries should be directed to Dr A.F.Day (as in April Fools Day)

Sorry kids. I just had to come back to the board after being away for a long time to re-share this. Keep smiling!

-Clark

[cosmo]

Good thing I went to the bottom of the post to see who it was signed by before wasting 5-10 mins of my time trying to read it.

[chunkyfrog]

The low-tech alternative would be piercings linked to mating links on the cushion.
--or sealed rare-earth magnets embedded under the skin with identical magnets in the cushion.
Skip the machine altogether, and embed magnets in the offending internal tissue,
allowing the patient to wear a magnetic neck collar at night.

[ughwhatname]

Love it!

[NotLazyJustTired]

Why not just use super glue?

[BlackSpinner]

Why not just use super glue?

Makes it kind of hard to kiss or eat....

[bryansong]

Why don't they just make a better mask?

[chunkyfrog]

A better mask? Some companies are working on it; (the wheels move slowly) others are not likely to, even at gunpoint.

[bryansong]

I am going to try that Tap Pap next. It is hard to find a mask that fits.

[n0hardmask]

Hmmm, as long as we're using a vaccuum/ pressure pump, why not have a mask seal that used vaccuum to hold the mask to the face?! All you'd need is a partial pressure hose (like the size of an aquarium pump hose) to connect to the seal portion of the (FF) mask. Of course, the nay-sayers will complain about the bright red seal imprint... but wouldn't that be a fair trade off for a perfect seal?
All our engineer-wanna-be's can chime in and critique my idea. Enjoy. PS, I claim patent rights on the idea, btw.

[Christine L]

Good one Snorebert!

[Christine L]

Good thing I went to the bottom of the post to see who it was signed by before wasting 5-10 mins of my time trying to read it.

sourpuss

[Sir NoddinOff]

Dr. Day performs what he calls “CPAP sculpting” to actually alter the patient’s face to properly fit the CPAP mask. “Tiny grooves, almost imperceptible to the naked eye, are carved into the patient’s face to allow the CPAP masks to fit snugly and securely. Low areas of the patient’s face can also be built up with the injections of tiny amounts of skin cells from the patient’s leg. This all creates a perfect, leak-free fit for the CPAP mask.”

Even if this is an April fool's joke: I think there is already a three pronged cure for poor mask fit. One: Try a bunch of masks to find one that fits your face. Two: Use Lansinoh preparation to create a good interface seal. Three: Be patient, these things take time.

[chunkyfrog]

One could identify fellow hose-heads by the large ring-shaped face hickey.

[porete]

One could identify fellow hose-heads by the large ring-shaped face hickey.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Loved the article!