OT - Tragic Death in Family

[Bluebonnet_Gal]

Thanks to all for your words of support and understanding.

To Babette and all other who have been touched by suicide and suicidal thoughts, my heart goes out to you! (((HUGS))) to all!

Rumors have begun to float around. I guess I should have expected it. People seem to "feed" off tragedy. I refuse to be a part of spreading the rumors. Just as we should all be finding a new normalcy to life, these rumors float around and grow. These rumors could result in blame and a great deal of pain for the family. Whether there's truth to them or not doesn't matter. They won't bring him back and the blame can only cause more pain and hurt.

I'm at a loss for further words right now, but again, thanks for being there!!!

[Babette]

I think people need to put tragedies into a "box" and categorize them and label them, in order to make sense of them.

I know I was guilty of that when my cousin-in-law died back in the early 80's. I said some things that upset some people. I needed to find a reason that satisfied me intellectually, but didn't understand that I came off as just gruesome to people hearing me talk. It took an outsider to bring me up short. Some years after the event, I was working at the local paper. I ended up working closely with a reporter who told me that his first story on that job was this train accident. I piped up "Oh that was my cousin!" and proceeded to say some stuff that just repulsed him. He told me I was inappropriate. I didn't realize how something I had processed and "filed" was still a painful memory in his life.

I don't know if I'm any better at that now. But I do understand that people do this "filing" in order to just get up and go on with their lives. But everyone "files" on a different schedule. Some people file early on, and then fall apart later. I think my mom is doing that right now. I had quite a few coworkers tell me to go home and take some more time off after my Dad's passing. I had to explain that I couldn't go home - there was work to be done - and I needed to take time off for his funeral, which was going to be held three weeks later. That was difficult. I needed to "file," which some people didn't understand.

It's tough to be in the middle of people speculating. I guess I have been lucky to be removed from that sort of discussion for several of the tragedies I've experienced. But you are smack in the middle of it. I am so sorry. I sure hope this thread helps other readers who find themselves in a similar situation.

Hugs all around,
B.

[whatrdreamsmadeof]

My deepest blessing for you is to know, that Love makes memories that even death cannot take away, love your family, make lots of memories!
Your pain now comes from loss of a loved one. Love will see you through this.
GOD Bless you and yours,
Ellen

[gasparama]

Bluebonnet_Gal,

Of course your husband's entire family is suffering. You can't see to the other side of this journey of grief, yet. But you know that you won't be given any more than you can tolerate. I'm sure that you all are walking through a strange and not- so -happy -new- world because things have changed forever.

My condolences are sent your way.

Jane

[dsm]

BBG

So sad to hear this - family members are so precious & that type of loss is horrible.

Will pray for you all and your tragic loss.

Doug

[Debjax]

I am so sorry. A number of years ago, my husband's best friend did the same, and it was a horrific time for his family and all his friends. We had to take his widow to the ER, she is from Japan and blamed herself, we feared she would also try to kill herself.

It hurts so bad, I know. All I can do is offer my condolances and my prayers.

[Marietjie]

[quote="Bluebonnet_Gal"]Rumors have begun to float around[/quote]

Hi our friend, Bluebonnet! - It also happened to us and family and friends made up their own stories about what happened and why.
Something that I read the other day and I hope never to forget these words:

Count your words because words count. (Hope it sounds right in English(not my home language) BUT I'm sure you know what I mean.! ? !
So, if anyone comes along and makes a nasty statement about why he took his own life, tell them short and sweet = count your words......................
Love - Marietjie

[FatiguedMe]

Hi,
I am a newbie so I don't know you. I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost 2 close family members to suicide so I can completely understand where you are at. ((((((((((((((BIG GENTLE HUG)))))))))))))))
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
May God give you all peace,
Fatigued