My husband is an a$$hole seriously!

[Xney]

Well, the OP's story is certainly worth venting about.

But it might be a different situation if her husband understood sleep apnea. The stereotypes essentially prevented my diagnosis for years, because I'm not overweight, I'm young(ish) at the time, and I don't really snore. result: no sleep study for years. There's more awareness of it now than 10+ years ago, but still that kind of thing is pretty common.

besides all the health problems, people without sleep apnea simply cannot understand how tired it makes you, because they've never been that tired. Maybe if they got 2 hours of sleep a night for half a year, they'd have an idea.

[archangle]

We should consider the possibility that he really believes this isn't necessary.

I'm a big skeptic in general. [Chorus from other cpaptalk members] NO KIDDING!

I don't trust the medical mafia. I think they'd kill us in our sleep and sell our organs if the risk/reward ratio was high enough. I was highly skeptical about apnea and CPAP.

I've learned the hard way that this is the least phony of all the common ailments that have become "fad" medicine. Despite the apparent high cost and the degree we get screwed by the medial mafia, apnea treatment just isn't anywhere nearly as profitable as the other medical problems that have become popular with the medical community. If anything, sleep apnea doesn't get enough emphasis because it isn't as profitable as putting you on an expensive pill where you have to buy the pill every month, and keep paying the doctor ransom money to keep your prescription active.

DON'T trust the doctors and the medical money machine. However, apnea and CPAP is one of the things where they're actually NOT overselling it.

Now, they will try to rip you off when you buy a machine, get a test, etc., but they don't tend to prescribe it to people who don't need it.

Look at it this way. Apnea is like being an insulin dependent diabetic. You need the insulin. The problem is that the insulin is only available from seedy characters morally somewhere between used car dealers and street corner drug dealers. "Hey man, I got a really great, top notch CPAP here for you. It even gots a SD memory card in it."

[Pugsy]

I'm a big skeptic in general. [Chorus from other cpaptalk members] NO KIDDING!

We should consider the possibility that he really believes this isn't necessary.

This is where my thoughts are tending to go. I hate to be such a Negative Nellie but my first thought when I read OP story was that if he was this inconsiderate in regards to OSA therapy that he was very likely inconsiderate in other areas as well and that was pretty much confirmed by OP statement about considering ending the marriage prior to even this therapy. There were other problems happening before OSA therapy.

So to the OP here....feel free to rant...I agree with BlackSpinner...sometimes it helps to rant and we are sort of a virtual family or friends here. Other than what the others have said about trying to educate your husband I really don't have much to offer. Some couples therapy is probably in order but both parties have to agree to it and be willing to work and my Negative Nellie says he is unlikely to really want to change. I have been down that road....people won't change unless they really want to and see the need to. Part of it may be his cultural heritage but we have plenty of born in the USA, inconsiderate a$$holes here in the US both white and black. I suspect that problems run a lot deeper here than just putting a beer beside the machine.

My heart goes out to you. My husband was the one who kept kicking me in the butt to get tested for OSA.

[neverbetter]

It could be that your husband is coming from a place of guilt.
"He" can't fix you. So he lashes out with some ugly comments.
I suspect this isn't the first time he has acted thoughtless and it won't be the last.
That said, have you considered couples counselling?

If he won't go (yet), go yourself. Get the support you need from an expert.
If you do not have the insurance or for other some reason or even your co-pays are too high,
contact your pastor for counseling.

It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it means you care enough about yourself to refuse to be
treated less than you know you need to be spoken to and treated. Work on getting the strength up to
make the changes that may need to be made in order to be treated with love and respect. Look at this situation as "making a stand".
You are going to get well and have a wonderful life and if he's not with you on that, you need to be in a good, healthy place to make the
changes you may want to make. I hope he goes with you. If not, don't let that stop you.

[brucifer]

Venting is one thing; posting that your husband is an asshole is quite another. Most patient-based forums have rules that ban such activity, and forum moderators are usually quick to warn members who breach those rules. Certainly sensitive topics can be communicated in a respectful manner without the name-calling. Being civil and respecful goes a long way in establishing and maintaining meaningful discussion.

[mzlaura1884]

Venting is one thing; posting that your husband is an asshole is quite another. Most patient-based forums have rules that ban such activity, and forum moderators are usually quick to warn members who breach those rules. Certainly sensitive topics can be communicated in a respectful manner without the name-calling. Being civil and respecful goes a long way in establishing and maintaining meaningful discussion.

I vented... so i called him an A$$hole like that name has never been thrown around before? First you say i am airing my dirty laundry then i should get a warning from the moderator is there an issue you have with me that i am unaware of because last i knew we seemed to get along. I am sorry if i upset "you" by calling "MY" husband an A##hole.

I suppose if you even could understand for a second how it feels for your spouse to tell you that money is more important than your life or i would have died a long time ago if i was going to.. you might have an ounce of respect for why i vented the way i did.

[Slinky]

... a few hours later he tried waking me up in pure daylight and was just trying to ask me dumb questions and i didn't want to wake up so i ignored him HAHA ...

My first thought was that his reactions and comments later were due to the fact that you scared the living bajeezus outta him by ignoring him when he was trying to wake you and you wouldn't respond.

Then as more of the story came out the thought occurred: you could always trade him in on a goat and shoot the goat!!!

Do what you have to do for you and your child - and good luck and God bless!!!!

[brucifer]

I vented... so i called him an A$$hole like that name has never been thrown around before? First you say i am airing my dirty laundry then i should get a warning from the moderator is there an issue you have with me that i am unaware of because last i knew we seemed to get along. I am sorry if i upset "you" by calling "MY" husband an A##hole.

I suppose if you even could understand for a second how it feels for your spouse to tell you that money is more important than your life or i would have died a long time ago if i was going to.. you might have an ounce of respect for why i vented the way i did.

Please spare me the drama. You don't know anything about me, so don't pretend that you do. You don't know my past.

Please get this straight: I have no problem with you venting, and I have no problem with you personally. It was how you vented that I take issue. This message board is bigger than you, and it's bigger than me. People come here looking for help and for answers. Yes, there is a small core of regulars here, but the vast majority of people who log on each day are lurkers, guests, and newbies. They come here to learn and to share. You should keep that in mind when you post a message. Please show some class, some courtesy, and respect for others. Sure, some people here would have no problem with you sharing the most intimate details of your personal life, but that's not what a forum such as this is all about. Can't you vent and discuss your issue with your husband's lack of support without the public name-calling and the reference to his culture/race? It's called self-control. I can assure you; on most patient-based forums you would have been warned by a moderator and been in violation of a very basic rule.

I'm not a moderator here, and I don't pretend to be one. I state my opinion as a member.

Now if you want to call your husband an asshole all day long at your home, that's your business. That's between you two. But, please show respect to others while in a public setting. Yes, I'm old school when it comes to how I treat my wife in public. When you tear your spouse down in public, you are tearing down yourself as well, and a house divided will not stand. You and your husband seem to have much bigger problems than your CPAP therapy. I hope you two can work things out. I have nothing else to say on this matter. Good luck.

EDIT: The word "Hon" was removed from the beginning of this post because it offended kaiasgram. I hope she can sleep better now.

[MidnightOwl]

I can assure you; on most patient-based forums you would have been warned by a moderator and been in violation of a very basic rule.

I think most people are here precisely because this is not like most other forums. And when or if we develop a yearning for those more restrictive rules we all know where to find them.

[kaiasgram]

I'm not sure if directly addressing the OP as "Hon" is any less disrespectful than the "name" she used to refer to her husband.

[brucifer]

I think most people are here precisely because this is not like most other forums. And when or if we develop a yearning for those more restrictive rules we all know where to find them.

Don't kid yourself. Most people who visit this website do so to learn about CPAP or to share their knowledge. If the community is friendly and respectful, it will reflect positively on the community and on cpap.com.

BTW, most patient-based forums have developed rules out of necessity, not because they want to be overbearing or restrictive. Some people have trouble playing nice, thus the rules.

I'm not sure if directly addressing the OP as "Hon" is any less disrespectful than the "name" she used to refer to her husband.

Oh pleeease! Since when is using hon disrespectful? I call my wife "hon" all the time. Would it make you feel better if I removed it from my post? I tell you what, I'll edit it because you're offended. All better now?

[49er]

I'm not sure if directly addressing the OP as "Hon" is any less disrespectful than the "name" she used to refer to her husband.

Oh pleeease! Since when is using hon disrespectful? I call my wife "hon" all the time. Would it make you feel better if I removed it from my post? I tell you what, I'll edit it because you're offended. All better now?[/quote]

Brucifer,

Isn't sarcasm contrary to the the respect theme you keep advocating that this forum should be about when you got on the OP for using the "A" word?

And if you are old fashioned as you claim to be, you violated a primary rule which is either to do something with graciousness or not do it at all. In other words, if you disagreed with Kaisrgram that the use of "hon" was disrespectful, you shouldn't have edited your post. But instead, you did it while being sarcastic which isn't helping at all.

49er

[deltadave]

Just one asteroid.

I mean, is that asking too much?

It's not like there aren't plenty of them to go around.

There's like zillions of the things.

Celestially speaking, it's like you can't take two steps without tripping over one of 'em.

So how about sparing just one little guy?

About the size of Pennsylvania?

[SleepyToo2]

Just one asteroid.

I mean, is that asking too much?

It's not like there aren't plenty of them to go around.

There's like zillions of the things.

Celestially speaking, it's like you can't take two steps without tripping over one of 'em.

So how about sparing just one little guy?

About the size of Pennsylvania?

And where would you want that to hit? Leave Pennsylvania out of it, thank you!

[So Well]

He is of african decent born and raised and i honestly don't know if this has anything to do with his "beliefs of medicine"

African decent?

Or indecent?