Overcoming Dissatisfaction ("Woe Is Me") and Accepting?

I know that this can be said about life's hardships in general, and overcoming the 'woe is me' attitude tends to be helpful overall. Though I'm curious how people in the sleep apnea community tend to overcome and persevere. How do you guys overcome the disappointment regarding the condition, and learn to accept in the most positive way possible?

Accepting that something like this has happened to someone as kind and compassionate as me has proven to be difficult....

First, using CPAP usually turns out to be not as bad as you imagine it will be, and it gets less bad as you get accustomed to it. This can keep getting better for years! Second, for many, it solves all sorts of other problems like headaches, reflux, lack of energy, etc., which is a huge reward. I will never willingly go to sleep without my CPAP, maybe excluding short naps sitting up.
Jim

jim22 wrote:First, using CPAP usually turns out to be not as bad as you imagine it will be, and it gets less bad as you get accustomed to it. This can keep getting better for years! Second, for many, it solves all sorts of other problems like headaches, reflux, lack of energy, etc., which is a huge reward. I will never willingly go to sleep without my CPAP, maybe excluding short naps sitting up.
Jim

Hey Jim, thanks so much for the reply- I really appreciate your words.

Of course, I have gratitude that CPAP can help in the first place, and solve much of my problems- so I'm glad there's a treatment. And I probably can adapt to that, I'm certainly doing my best to.

I'm simply trying to overcome jealousy of people who don't have this condition.

Obviously I count my blessings and know I still have it better than other people out there, and have things in my life I'm very grateful for. But still- the condition has been hard to accept for me. That I'm an innocent person who didn't ask for this diagnosis, but had it anyway....

I understand and feel that way too.
Jim

I guess my parents didn't pass down the "Woe Is Me Gene" to me! In our house it was more overcome and survive. Jim

I denied I had sleep apnoea for about 10 years and dreaded the thought of using CPAP. Something finally 'clicked' as my health continued to unravel. I was 'sleeping' 11 hours a night and struggling to stay awake during the day. I had high blood pressure, bad acid reflux, my memory was shot and I was grumpy as hell.

After a full night clinic sleep study my diagnosis was Severe Obstructive Apnoea (58.9) with apnoea lengths up to 90 seconds and oxygen saturation down to 60%. A second titration study gave me a prescription for 13cm.

I started CPAP straight away in June 2016 and I have not missed a night. Although I had the initial problems that a lot of people have with discomfort, leaks, trouble getting to sleep and waking often, I noticed a difference in how I felt immediately. The brain fog started to lift, the incredible tiredness gradually started to ease, the reflux totally disappeared, my blood pressure returned to normal and I was able to stop the BP meds. My mood has stabilised.

I did have the 'woe is me' thing for a bit, but when weighing up the benefits of using CPAP it was pretty easy to overcome. My life has changed dramatically for the better. I even look forward to going to bed these days. Using CPAP is no big deal, or rather it is a huge deal, but in a good way!

I think you're taking this to a whole other level it doesn't need to be at.

As someone else said recently, it's not cancer. If you had diabetes would you still see things in the same way? Accept that you have to inject yourself a few times a day and monitor numbers and be careful of everything you eat? Everywhere?

I've been doing this x 10+ yrs now and all it means is that I lie down in bed, quicky pull on my FFM, don't even need to hit 'On' because breathing triggers the air and I go to sleep. That's all. Of course I had to work out some stuff at the beginning, but I can't remember more than a fair no. of masks til I found the right one, and the whole thing now is such a non-deal - nothing compared to when my ex told me I quit breathing overnight. Then I got a machine (after testing) but that took a while, so I did have wake-up headaches, weird dreams and night sweats, but it all went away within weeks, if not sooner once I started Apap. There are so many things in the my life that are so much more hassle than just lying down and throwing on the mask!

Use your machine and get on with your life. If CPAP is my biggest problem, I'm damn lucky.

Kabuto wrote:I know that this can be said about life's hardships in general, and overcoming the 'woe is me' attitude tends to be helpful overall. Though I'm curious how people in the sleep apnea community tend to overcome and persevere. How do you guys overcome the disappointment regarding the condition, and learn to accept in the most positive way possible?

Accepting that something like this has happened to someone as kind and compassionate as me has proven to be difficult....

You've GOT to be kidding! Are you susceptible to histrionics? Or are you trolling us?

Pull yourself together and get some perspective! There are people out there with no arms and legs and with horrible diagnoses, and you're whining about a little sleep apnea? That's as common in the population as is flatulence after a heavy meal! Get over it! My wife fell down the stairs and broke her back. When she could finally walk in crutches, she was at the market struggling to get stuff out of the shopping cart and grumbling to herself about nobody stepping up to help her. Until she looked next door. There was a guy in a manual wheelchair, with no legs schlepping his shopping bags off the counter and into the basket attached his wheelchair. And smiling and chatting animatedly with those around him. She stopped feeling sorry for herself. You should, too.

Attitude is EVERYTHING!

I started out with a bad attitude, thinking CPAP was just another scam, like the Breathe-Rite Nasal Strips, or the dental positioners that did absolutely nothing for me. I suffered through my initial study, and it was like the tech was trying to make it as bad as he possibly could, which is what he was doing! I slept like $#!t and stumbled into work with hair gel still in my hair, groggy, people asking what happened to me, saying it looked like I slept in my car. I was so out of it, it didn't even occur to me to go home, get cleaned up and then go to work. Or to call in sick and sleep.

A friend gave me the proverbial Dutch Uncle talk, and basically said he adopted the attitude that he was going to give it his absolute level best to make it work. ANd you know what? It did. For him, and, much to my surprise, for me, too. 7 years on the hose and I haven't missed a night. CPAP therapy is the best thing I could have done to head off where I was going, health-wise.

If you're having trouble, if it doesn't seem to be doing anything, if you don't understand what you're doing, don't be passive about it. Learn all you can on this forum. Ask questions. Everyone is here either to help or to learn. Except for a few mentally challenged individuals, and the trolls. If nothing works, go back to your doc. If your doc is clueless or apathetic or seems too busy to listen, find another one. But don't just sit there and let your health worsen. It's your life. Take charge. Be in control. Fight! Persevere! Win!

My acceptance of the diagnosis and treatment was not choice but necessity. Of course that didn't make me like it or the struggles with settings and equipment. Early on I read on here that we could expect to go through the same stages of grief as with any loss. Having gone through other life changes, I fully expected the grieving period to be temporary. I think our place in life when we face this diagnosis makes a difference. The weight we attribute to it is relative. When we are diagnosed later in life as I was, there's likely to have been more life experiences to compare this to. When one has been to hell and back a few times perspective is a bit different. And natural bent plays a role. Sensitive people who feel emotions deeply may be more affected. Those of us whose life experiences have left us numb with nearly a dull affect as a means of survival may come across as insensitive to what others are experiencing. I know I have that tendency to a fault, so I work hard to stay aware and work around it. Sometimes I say too much simply because I'm overcompensating for the guilt of my initial impulses. And then I have to tell myself to shut up.

Kabuto wrote:
Accepting that something like this has happened to someone as kind and compassionate as me has proven to be difficult....

Almost everybody thinks something along those lines when they get a serious diagnosis. But ..... good health is not dealt out to the worthy. Illnesses are often the fault of choosing the wrong parents.

If you haven't had anything worse than this you will think it's a big deal. If you have already had one or more illnesses that are worse, then you will think it a piece of cake. It's all about perspective.

The fact you have this condition is not a poor reflection on who you are. Health issues are equal opportunity challenges and anyone can succumb to them given the right biological criteria.

Try turning your kindness and compassion on yourself. If a good friend of yours posted what you did, what would you reply to support that person through the difficulty? Then, try that advice yourself.

Keep on keeping on!
Jean

I was never promised a Rose garden, I was allowed the chance to grow one. Jim

You reap what you sow, do the work, grow your Life.

Soothest Sleep wrote:The fact you have this condition is not a poor reflection on who you are. Health issues are equal opportunity challenges and anyone can succumb to them given the right biological criteria.

Try turning your kindness and compassion on yourself. If a good friend of yours posted what you did, what would you reply to support that person through the difficulty? Then, try that advice yourself.

Keep on keeping on!
Jean

Very nice +1

Kabuto wrote:I'm simply trying to overcome jealousy of people who don't have this condition.

I'm simply trying to overcome jealousy of people who don't have kidney failure, and have to endure hours of boredom, stuck in a chair, three days a week in dialysis.

Sleep apnea treatment is a *cakewalk*