THANK YOU AGAINJanknitz wrote:Insomnia is not unique to you. Many of us had difficulty sleeping because of our apnea to
begin with, and then add in trying to sleep with a chunk of plastic strapped to your face blowing air at you,
sleep was unbelievably difficult. For most of us, when we were able to sleep with the machine, sleep improved.
I'm not saying it's easy--took me a few months.
Search for a member here named "Roby Sue" if you want to see someone who really battled with the insomnia
demon for a good long time. She has a blog addressing it--hopefully someone will send you a link. Roby Sue
fought insomnia and still has battles to fight with it. But she didn't give up.
Personally, I think tackling insomnia comes AFTER some basics. If you don't get them down first, good sleep
will never happen.
So for now, let's eliminate insomnia from the equation. You need to get used to the mask and the blower first,
and this starts when you are wide awake.
1. Make sure you have the right mask. It should be comfortable in whatever sleeping positions you normally move
into during the night. It should not cause pressure sores or pain. It should not leak excessively, especially not into
your eyes. Learn to adjust it so it's "just tight enough" not to leak and never too tight. Learn how to put it on and
off in the dark. Learn how to field strip it for cleaning and put it back together correctly. Learn how it works so you
can be assured that you are not going to asphyxiate, so you know what happens if you tighten that strap or loosen
another one. Learn how it responds as the pressure increases in response to airway events. Learn what you need
to do to improve the comfort--a mask liner (Padacheek, for example), some lanisoh on nasal pillows, a clean face,
a special bed pillow, etc.
2. Understand the settings on your machine. Often people don't touch the settings and don't realize that the ramp
setting (pressure starts very low and may remain low for a period of time on the theory that you can fall asleep before
it's at full pressure--NEVER works that way!) is part of their discomfort because it can make you feel like you're not
getting enough air. Download sleepyhead and learn to read your charts. You can learn if you have big leaks, if the
machine is adequately addressing your apneas, if it's waking you, etc.). Data gives you some sense of control, and goals
to strive for.
3. Now sit in a comfortable chair or on the couch, put on your mask and machine, and just practice not panicking with
the mask on your face. Read, watch TV, listen to music. Don't try to sleep, but don't get upset if you do. Your goal is
to be calm and comfortable with the mask on. Try to stretch out the amount of time you do this. It may be only 10 minutes
at first. Try to get to two hours over time.
4. During this acclimation period you're still going to try to use the machine at night, just as you do in the chair.
Again, don't focus on trying to sleep with the mask--it may happen or not. Your goal is just to tolerate the mask.
Yes, you need sleep. But until you can first take off the roller skates by learning not to fight the mask, you aren't
going to get up that hill.
I had to do this for weeks. I started with 10 minute increments before I'd rip off the mask and throw it across the room.
Gradually I began counting slowly to 10 before I'd rip off the mask, and sometimes I could just keep it on. Sleep came
in short bouts, eventually I got to 2 hours at a time, then 3, and so on. It took me a couple of months to sleep through the night.
Yes, it was miserable. But in the whole of my life, a drop in the bucket of time.
I use a few aids. I use a mask liner because I hate the way silicone feels against my face. I went through about 8 masks
initially until I found something I could sleep with. I hang my hose so it doesn't get in my way. My original machine was
kind of noisy, so I learned to sleep with podcasts (an earbud in one ear--now I have "sleep phones") so I didn't focus on the
rhythm and sound of the machine. I learned never to pressure myself to sleep--if I wake I listen to the podcast, even if
I'm awake all the rest of the night so I'm not "trying" to fall asleep (but now I almost always fall back to sleep within a few minutes).
I made small, daily goals--wearing the mask for 10 minutes while awake. Wearing the mask for 15 minutes while awake.
Sleeping 1 hour with the mask. Sleeping 1 1/2 hours, etc.
And my ultimate goal: Putting the mask on and just going to sleep, just like I put on my PJ's. It took a good, long time to
get there, but giving up was NOT an option.
Hard, HELL yes! Uphill with roller skates--backwards!
And yes, I whined a LOT. There were some people here who gave me a swift kick in the butt when I needed it, for whom
I'll be forever grateful. I'd be dead now, without that. I have no doubt.
Rant or work it. Your choice.
Publicly - I hope you got my PM
That you should SO care about my Desperation
.....................you don't even know me
To write such a complete & compassionate ******
For the moment you have turned my Rant into a Weep
