OT: Time out and/or Duke it out thread

[Pugsy]

Well...I have been threatening to do a "duke it out" thread so here it is.

There are some people here who just want to disrupt cpap helping threads with personal attacks and the threads get bogged down with ugliness and snarkiness and mean spirited name calling and they get away with (or think they do) because they say this is an unmoderated forum...which isn't exactly true.
The forum owners have decided that we should self moderate...act like adults and know when to use common sense and common courtesy. So we are the moderators...each and every one of us.

The nastiness has once again become rampant and it's sickening and gives the forum a bad name and chases potential newbies away because they can't see the good we do here because the the nastiness has a way of standing out more than the good. This is hurting the forum and some people who are doing it are actually bragging about it.

I don't care how mean and nasty you want to get with each other...I really don't. Just do it somewhere else than in the middle of a thread where someone is wanting help. Come here to this thread and continue your fight...or take it to private messages or start a new thread of your own but get it out of threads where people need help and you aren't offering help...you are just poking at someone else because you either don't like them or what they said or how they said it and the end result ends up being a contest as to who can get the last poke in.

And don't go blasting me for trying to infringe on your freedom of speech...I have that same right. You may have the "right" to say what you think but so do I and so does everyone else here who is tired of the pissing contests that so many helping threads end up being. You may have the "right" to say it but by damn I also have the right to tell you I feel it is unacceptable behavior from someone who is supposed to be an adult. Most of the time it sounds like bickering from 3rd graders who have learned a few rather colorful words. Nothing the least bit helpful except to highlight how childish you are and believe me...I already know how childish you are...no need to make a point of showing it off.

A lot of you old timers remember forum member Dori. She was a voice we respected and heeded. When things got ugly she used to chime in and suggest the offenders needed a "time out". Now I don't expect you all to put me in the same league as Dori and we all know that I am not nearly as soft spoken as she was (and yes I am guilty of doing the very thing I am talking about here but we all know that it is rare and takes a lot to get me to stoop to that level) but maybe all of us could try to be a "Dori" or voice of reason when things get ugly. Point the offenders to this thread gently as a kind reminder that what they are doing or saying isn't helping anyone and is hurting the forum.
Ask them to take their "discussion" elsewhere so as to not detract from the real reason we are all here.

If you disagree with what someone says...disagree respectfully...don't attack the messenger...attack the message and do it with the same respect that you would expect in return.

I have said often that this whole cpap experience comes with huge YMMV stickers...and we are all entitled to our opinions and often those opinions vary a lot but that doesn't mean opinions other than ours are worthless or even wrong...sometimes misguided perhaps but if it isn't harmful information...who cares?

So...here's the duke it out thread...now I really don't think the offenders will move their pissing contest here but I can hope...I always try to look for the good in everyone and maybe they will prove me wrong just to prove me wrong.
But by my (and hopefully any other forum member who feel like I do) stepping in and gently saying "maybe you guys should take the rest of your discussion here....link to this thread...and leave it at that
We are sending a message to newbies that this sort of behavior isn't what the rest of us are about and maybe they won't leave with a bad taste in their mouths.

We can thus self moderate the forum which was what Johnny always wanted...a playground where he didn't have to worry about a police force keeping everyone in line.

Oh...if you think Johnny and Carolyn aren't aware of the ugliness and that they really don't care...you are dead wrong. What we say here doesn't go by unnoticed by them and they care a lot.
This forum is their baby and if you damage the baby too much and you might not like the results.
Banning has been done in the past and there's nothing stopping it from being done now except the Goodman's are hoping they don't have to do that...they prefer we act like adults.
I don't know about Johnny but when I create something I want to be proud of my baby and having it out there that this forum is the ugliest baby in town wouldn't sit well...and I know for sure that running off newbies is the LAST thing they want to see.

I don't think they care if you fight and want pissing contests...just don't do it in a helping thread...don't hijack someone else's thread with your crap throwing...take the fight elsewhere.
Start a new thread about whatever it is you are disagreeing with someone about with such venom....
Take it here and duke it out all you want...I don't care how much name calling you do in this thread....
or how about the "adult" way with respect and private messages...yeah, not much chance of that.
Part of the fun of being an asshole in public is showing off how big of an asshole you can be.
Trust me...I understand it myself. Sometimes I relish in being a first class asshole myself. But most of the time I feel shame when I realize I have been an asshole...it's not something I take a lot of pride in. It helps no one and demeans me...and why in hell would I demean myself..kinda stupid huh?

So I have decided to use the "time out thread" link when I feel people are getting the thread hijacked with personal attacks instead of attacking the message...anyone else here who sees something they feel like is heading that direction please feel free to also link to this thread...it's not just for my use.

Now if the receivers of this little link don't like it...well...guys and gals...we have the same rights as you do and I for one have decided that I don't want to sit by and let you trash the forum with petty bickering crap. You might still do it and I can't stop you but I can sure let it be known that I don't like it or appreciate it and I am certainly within my rights to convey that little message...so if you don't like it..tough...you know the rest.

[avi123]

Who knows how are Dori and her husband?

[Pugsy]

Who knows how are Dori and her husband?

Last I heard Dori was doing well but Mike passed away around Valentines Day this year I think or maybe last year...time flies.

[49er]

+10000

[Grace~~~]

Great idea, Pugsy.
... and kinda funny too. I do so hope the 'players' will step up to the challenge?

Not <Word removed due to user policy> out.
(LOL ... see me in the spirit? ...*ducks* now)


It will be amazing if people will just "take it to the thread".
OPs and newbies might very well follow along too?

You can't copy and paste a post from one thread to another though, can you?
...or not with that 'quote' feature?

Personally, *I* think a good percentage of the 'duking out' is positive and leads
to clarity?

...but I started playing with /around BIG BOYS as a very young girl ...
so I am aware of the process both good and ... the meaningless, quicksand sucking black hole pit of bad.

Will be interesting to see if self moderation is possible?
It seems MOST think it is not ~~~

CPAPTALK is very enlightened
IMH (and meaningless)O

[avi123]

P, when you say "Duke it out" do you mean that I should stop going to Duke Medical Center, located in Durham, NC?

[Pugsy]

Personally, *I* think a good percentage of the 'duking out' is positive and leads
to clarity?

There's respectful "duking it out" and there's "you are a stupid idiot moron troll" name calling duking it out that goes on for multiple posts with each trying to get the last "you are a moron/troll" post and thus win the argument.
It's the disrespectful name calling hijacking of threads where the original problem isn't even mentioned that I have a problem with.
Or if you disagree...just quietly state your thoughts without commenting directly at someone at all.


Example of respectful duking it out:..." I respectfully disagree with your thoughts on so and so and here's why...."

Example of not respectful duking it out:..." What stupid moronic idiotic way to think...you are wrong...you are a troll...you don't have a clue as to what you are talking about"...

[Grace~~~]

P, when you say "Duke it out" do you mean that I should stop going to Duke Medical Center, located in Durham, NC?

Ha, Ha
Good One, AVI ...

You play bait so well~~~

[Grace~~~]

Personally, *I* think a good percentage of the 'duking out' is positive and leads
to clarity?

There's respectful "duking it out" and there's "you are a stupid idiot moron troll" name calling duking it out that goes on for multiple posts with each trying to get the last "you are a moron/troll" post and thus win the argument.
It's the disrespectful name calling hijacking of threads where the original problem isn't even mentioned that I have a problem with.
Or if you disagree...just quietly state your thoughts without commenting directly at someone at all.


Example of respectful duking it out:..." I respectfully disagree with your thoughts on so and so and here's why...."

Example of not respectful duking it out:..." What stupid moronic idiotic way to think...you are wrong...you are a troll...you don't have a clue as to what you are talking about"...

Yes.
True.

..and there may even be a bit of a hybrid type that says
"Hey you stupid moronic idiot you're wrong and here's why ..."

[Janknitz]

Glad to see this, Pugsy. We need to stop pissing in newbis's threads when they need help.

[avi123]

... Sorry for deleting this post

[Pugsy]

Glad to see this, Pugsy. We need to stop pissing in newbis's threads when they need help.

Thanks. The "crickets" idea was a good one but the offenders don't see and can't hear or choose to ignore...so I decide to bring out the 2 X 4 and use it.
It may not fix anything but I sure feel good when I swing it.

[Pugsy]

Vice president Joe Biden wants to "Duke it Out" with Donald Trump

I think there are a lot of people who would like to duke it out with the Donald and Mr Biden would need to take a number...but that's a topic for a different thread..how about we leave politics out of this thread please? We've already got a couple of politics threads to spar in...no need to do it here.

[Grace~~~]

Vice president Joe Biden wants to "Duke it Out" with Donald Trump.

Yeah ... That's HOT!!!

I hope they will do it shirtless and in jello~~~

Biden might just do it for free ... but I bet Trump could do it 'pay per view' for profit.


Hey ... can you get kicked out of the Duking it out thread and sent to the Trump thread?
Sheesh ... the propensity for rules even in anarchy is crazy.

[Janknitz]

Crickets do work if used, but it's like herding cats to get everyone using them. I try to pm newbies, if registered, to explain whose being a troll and why we are not responding. But someone always does respond.