Lifestyles of the Leaks and Restless

Late one night after a struggling for hours with a recalcitrant leaky mask I finally gave up and stumbled out of bed. Bleary eyed I sat down at my computer and scoured the online forums for help. While they were full of helpful wisdom I realized part of my problem was I couldn’t follow directions and needed some hands on support. So remembering how my doctor told me this therapy was a lifestyle change, I typed that into my search engine and pulled out onto the information highway.

Imagine my surprise when I ran across a listing for a local H&M Club. Just the ticket for me, these guys must really know there stuff if they belong to a Hose and Mask club. As luck would have it they were having a mask party that weekend. So with salvation in sight I packed up my mask collection and headed off to learn the tricks of these experts.

When I walked in I knew this was the place, as most of them were already dressed for bed which I thought was a nice touch. No off the shelf mask for these folks either they were sporting custom mask that I had never even heard of. Seems they had a preference for the black neoprene instead of the silicone I was used to. All sorts of unique fasteners too, though with swoosh marks being such a problem not sure how I would handle zipper marks.

I did feel a bit out of place at first but once I put on my Breeze they seemed to accept me as one of their own. One woman was amazed at how it pulled at my nostrils. She asked if it was painful and if my Master made me wear it all the time. I responded if adjusted some ways it felt like being hung from meat hooks but I only had to wear it in bed and I usually just call him Doctor. Her gasp seemed to draw a crowd and they all gathered around to see what else I had in my bag.

I started running through my gambit of masks eliciting oohs and ahs from the crowd. Such a helpful bunch too, giving me all sorts of suggestions for adjustments. But nothing I seemed to do made anything more comfortable, in fact most hurt even more. Guess it was that direction thing with me again.

Now it was their turn to show me their masks. Have to tell you these folks have got that mouth breathing thing knocked. I found their creative use of buckles and balls just short of amazing. Though their use of neck straps did seem a bit extreme. They also have this unique approach to keeping a mask in place. Rather than securing the mask so it moves with you when sleep they secure you instead.

They were a great bunch of folks but just a tad too serious for a beginner like me. I really knew I was out of my league when they started talking about compliance. Getting nagged at by my wife was one thing but arming her with whips and cattle prods did seem a bit over the top. So I headed home a bit wiser and a lot sorer than when I came. Maybe after being at this CPAP thing for a while I’ll be good enough to go back and join the club.

LOL............great laugh for the start of a new day

Silly Man Moran,
Always look forward to your posts, please keep them coming!!!!
CD

O.

SLEEPYCD wrote:Silly Man Moran,
Always look forward to your posts, please keep them coming!!!!
CD

You act like I could stop LOL

Oh mike mike mike.....
Put your bifocals on before reading the ads.
That was an S not an H!

I better not explain the rest to you, it would only REALLY confuse you.......

I prefer to use up my leeks on cooking. When I need more punch than scallions.....


You may have stumbled upon a good place to unload our used CPAP equipment though, and get top dollar for it no less!

SLEEPYCD wrote:Silly Man Moran,
Always look forward to your posts, please keep them coming!!!!
CD

Ditto!!! Your posts are great!

Thanks for the fun...Amy

Another great job Mike!!! just had to pick myself up off the floor from laughing so hard.

JimH

and I think Moran should get the "Green" award, since he has now given us TWO places to recycle CPAP equipment that is no longer fit for medical consumption......

Just hand over that obsolete equipment to Old Hippies or H&M'ers.....

And tell 'em to thank Mike....