Where to buy the best mortuary plots

I have (2) at Forest Lawn in Covina, CA I will sell you!

hobbs wrote:I have (2) at Forest Lawn in Covina, CA I will sell you!

First question: Are they used or new? Second question: If used, for how many hours? We must know total hours; after all, people here aren't stupid ya know! Dump the water out before you turn it over or it will wet the grass. Third question: How much $$$ are you asking if new? Fourth question: How much $$$ after you kick the current tenants out? Now the really important Fifth question: Have you registered them and if so, where?

Please answer ASAP... I'm "dieing" to buy them.

chunkyfrog wrote:If by "best", (grave sites) you mean prettiest, expect to pay a premium.
Best prices are often found in small town cemeteries.
You can purchase coffins, vaults, and headstones directly from the wholesaler or manufacturer.
{{{or Costco, or Wally World.}}}
Avoid any funeral home that will not allow you to use "hardware" purchased elsewhere.
Some public lands do not allow ash scattering. (What they don't know . . . )

Then there's always the Comode option, small bathrooms may limit the size of the service. Jim

MrGrumpy wrote:Im going to put my faith in sleepyhead and Ive self diagnosed myself like palerider has done. I have some form of periodic breathing. I therefore am dying. I have also decided on cremation. Because I always figured I'd go to hell when I die anyway (and take the devils job over), I might as well go the cremation route.

thanks sleepyhead!

If you've been born, I can garrentee you are dying, I've never meant anyone that wasnt. Jim

I suggested the wife call Duke Energy out, have them auger a post hole in the back yard, drop me in (feet first I hope) plant a apple tree on the top.

But the informed her, they couldn't auger a hole that wide. Jim

Just a few miles from where we live someone was burried on land owned by people that lived out of state. They didn't like finding a grave on their land but weren't too upset. Not long after there was another grave added. The land owner was informed that they had to put a fence around the graves and keep it mowed and cleaned up. There was nothing they could do except put up the fence and hire someone to keep it mowed.

Stormynights wrote:Cremation will cause some serious burns. I wouldn't recommend that at this time.

It could be just a matter of perspective.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the “Alice May.”
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
Then “Here,” said I, with a sudden cry, “is my cre-ma-tor-eum.”

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;
Then I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: “Please close that door.
It’s fine in here, but I greatly fear you’ll let in the cold and storm—
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it’s the first time I’ve been warm.”

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.
—From Later Collected Verse; by Robert Service;

Do like I plan to...cremation and have someone stick M-80's in my pockets !!!
Then the world can kiss my ash good-bye...

I like the backyard idea!

Sheriff

Sheriff Buford wrote:I like the backyard idea!

Sheriff

I've actually thought of that location myself.


Den

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Sheriff Buford wrote:I like the backyard idea!

Sheriff

It seems okay, but it could depreciate the property for his heirs. Let's just let him burn and his ashes can be discretely spread over the water or land when the authorities are not lookng.

Sleeprider wrote:

Sheriff Buford wrote:I like the backyard idea!

Sheriff

It seems okay, but it could depreciate the property for his heirs. Let's just let him burn and his ashes can be discretely spread over the water or land when the authorities are not lookng.

You could have them scatter the ashes in your own backyard.


Den

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Be different and have a sky burial - they put your corpse on a platform and the birds take care of the rest. Very popular in Tibet. Later your heirs can make jewellery out of your bones and sell it on ebay.

Or, how about lampshades from their skin?

Julie wrote:Or, how about lampshades from their skin?

Tacky - besides the birds don't leave much.

BlackSpinner wrote:Be different and have a sky burial - they put your corpse on a platform and the birds take care of the rest. Very popular in Tibet. Later your heirs can make jewellery out of your bones and sell it on ebay.

I think it was typical for some of the Native North American tribes, too.
Unfortunately, nowadays, some environmental asshole would turn you in for violating some law.


Den

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