Introducing PS-PAP

[mikemoran]

CPAP-Probe, in our effort to always be beyond the cutting edge, has now married an interface to virtual reality. Why wait for the benefits of CPAP therapy when you can have the illusion of it today? The realistic simulations take full advantage of brain fog to carry you from initial therapy start up to full compliance. You will be dreaming like you did before OSA, the first time you strap it on. Our Sleep Un-Realists have been thinking “outside the bed” to bring you the following exciting programs:

A Mid-Slumber Night’s Dream – Remember the freedom of sleep before the mask? Just laying your head down and drifting off and putting the world to rest. Recapture that as you lay on the warm sands of a tropical paradise getting lost in the lapping of the waves as a cool ocean breeze wafts against your face. Maybe a mountain meadow in the summer sun or burrowing into a feather bed is your slumber paradise. Just pick your option; hit the ramp button and PS-PAP will transport you there.

Shotgun – Having trouble falling to sleep? This virtual “road trip” will make you unconscious in no time. Using actual footage from a drive down I-5 in California, you become the passenger as the miles and miles of brown hills flow by. You will be lulled by the drone of the wheels and the un-inspiring scenery. No blaring trucks, no sudden slowdowns, and no screaming kids asking “Are we there yet?”

The Fast Asleep and Furious Part 1 (Revenge of Hoseheads) – Deep down inside we all feel it. That tinge of resentment for our mask-less bed partners reposing gently by our side. You know you just want to take your mask, strap it to them, crank the pressure up and say “See how you like it.” Well now you can give full reign to this fantasy. You will watch as they are “virtually” subjected to a sleep study, then see them struggling to go to sleep at night as you lie there mask free. So which mask will you choose for the? The Darth Vader, Hozo the Clown, Alien Probe or any of the hundred less than flattering interfaces at your disposal. This program is guaranteed to put a smile on your sleep.

The Fast Asleep and Furious Part 2 (DME’s Demise) – It all starts as your DME reports to you for equipment outfitting (after a three month wait of course). While he is surrounded by posters of people blissfully sleeping with gossamer masks, you get to tell him that his insurance doesn’t cover those while you strap on his outdated Comfort-Hell mask. As you are applying the vice grip straps to his head you can explain to him how easy it will be for him to adapt to this five pound silicon wonder. No heated humidity for this patient, tried and true refrigerated evaporation should do the trick. Watch him fight with doctors and insurance companies to try and improve his therapy. See him waking through the night as the leaks abound. Nothing will be more satisfying than telling them that it is their attitude that will make this therapy work, while you refuse to adjust their pressure. The only problem with this program is chortling while you sleep.

CPAP-Probe – Where our equipment is State-of-the-Farce

[Sleepless on LI]

Guess I should wear my reading glasses more often. I thought the title of this thread was PMS-PAP. For the life of me, I couldn't wait to see what you would write about THAT! Not that your thread wasn't as humourous as usual but, boy, did I have it wrong.

[rested gal]

The Fast Asleep and Furious Part 2 (DME’s Demise) – It all starts as your DME reports to you for equipment outfitting (after a three month wait of course).

ROTFL!! Perfect!!

[kikisue]

Every time I think I've read the best yet.......

Thanks so much - really needed it today. We were at work yesterday til midnight (started at 7:30 am), and back again this morning at 8 am, so short night. I really needed the laugh - so thanks a million!!

Karen