CPAPLand Under Development

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 10:22 am

CPAP-Probe is working with some ex-Disney Imagineers to bring the fun of CPAP to the whole family. The planned theme park will bring Apnea out of the bedroom and into the lives of million of fun seekers. The following are some of the rides and entertainment you will have to look forward to:

Under Pressure Rollercoaster – This simulated roller coaster ride will be based upon your own individual readings. Just slip your smart card into the reader and thrill to the ups and downs of your last week in a 15 minute ride. Your APAP is now your ticket to excitement.

Rain Out Water Flume – A blast of air propels you down the hose with a rush of water dropping you onto a gigantic nose. (Originally planned as the Kangaroo Hose Ride but the water evaporated prior to reaching the end)

Sleep Lab of Horrors – This interactive amusement will have you wiring your family up for a true Sleep Study simulation. Laugh as you watch them struggling to turn over without disrupting the monitors. See all the unnatural positions you have them try to relax in. Just when they get comfortable rush in and strap that mask down tight. This is not for the faint hearted and due to potential trauma small children are not allowed.

The Apnea Nightmare – The rumbling of non-rhythmic snores greets you as you enter the Apnea Chamber. Here everyone is fitted with a full face mask as they sit back in reclining chairs. The lights are dimmed and the air supply is cut off from their masks for 30 seconds at irregular intervals. You’ll breeze through as this is just another night for you. Afterwards your friends and family will remark on how terrifying it was and amazed at how you can do that in your sleep.

The Road to CPAP – In this moving ride the audio animatronic characters will lead you through the whole path of therapy. From pre-screening to sleep lab all the way up to quiet slumber in their beds. You’ll hear doctors telling patients how AutoPAPS are not effective and that Passover humidifiers should give them enough comfort. Watch the DMEs counting their money in the back room as they laugh about the mask they just palmed off. (There is a fifteen minute wait between each sequence to simulate the waiting periods between each stage)

These and many more are in the works. On the way out of the park their will be a gift shop so your family can take home memories of the day. From novelty masks to “Nose Candy” there will be something for everyone.

(Coming in 2008)

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 12:31 pm

Mike, I have such fun reading your posts!

O.

dsg · Post by **dsg** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 1:03 pm

Some questions about CPAPLand:
- Will there be family pack discounts?
- Will people who are, shall we say, schnozzolly-enhanced (think Karl Malden or Jimmy Durante) be forced to pay extra?
- Are Million Mask March Parades being planned?
- Are all local hotels going to be CPAP user friendly? (i.e. electrical outlets located next to the bed, mask stands in each room and special distilled water taps in the bathrooms)
- Will any of the exhibits/rides be sponsored by DME's?
- If so, will there be proper signage to warn all viewers that hidden charges may apply and the performance may suffer as a result of shoddy service?
- Will this park be located near Moosejaw?

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 1:35 pm

Special discounts for hose head families.
There will signs posted on rides saying "Your nose must be this big for entry"
Fantasy Mask Parades featuring the Leaking Mask Marching Band with Snozmo on his Basson Full Face Mask will be held daily
We will have an on site venue called Let the Air Inn which will have built in APAPs. Just bring your mask and dial in your prefered pressure.
Unfortunately due to high development costs DME sponsorship is required. They will have sponsorship signs clearly posted. Currently they are signed up for Sleep lab of Horrors and the Apnea Nightmare.
We have bought acerage in Short Pump VA

Thank you for your interest.

Wulfman · Post by **Wulfman** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 1:57 pm

You say it'll be opening in 2008?
I would think that Halloween would be an appropriate date to open......

Good stuff, Mike.
Please be sure to "pace" youself, so you don't run out of material.

Den