Twas Months After Sleep Study

General Discussion on any topic relating to CPAP and/or Sleep Apnea.
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Twas Months After Sleep Study

Post by mikemoran » Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:26 am

Twas months after Sleep Study, when all through the house
No one was snoring, well maybe my spouse
My hose was scrunchied to the wall with care
To let me suck in that precious night air

The mask strapped tightly around my head
Looking like an alien abductee I lay in my bed
I started my quest for that perfect nap
My first time I ever tried the CPAP

After flipping the switch there was quite a commotion
Soon having second thoughts on this people pumping notion
With a cough and sputter and one mighty wheeze
My new found bed partner started its breeze

As water trickles down from the mountain into a stream
I drifted off to sleep, perchance even to dream
In my minds eye a movie soon was played
I was the latest balloon in Macy’s big parade

High in the sky of crisp winter weather
Tied to the earth by one single tether
Above the multitudes heart full of song
Not an inkling had I of what could go wrong

So buoyed was I by this wondrous inflation
I hardly noticed the growing lilt of flatulation
At first whisper quiet then it soon started to grow
Building and building to a blatting crescendo

In the fabric of me a hole was evidently rent
With escape of air like that of gastric embarrassment
My handlers let loose and I was no longer earth bound
I wooshed into the air with a whoopee cushion sound

Like a big party favor I started to fly
Whizzing and zooming all over the sky
I heard myself exclaim before I flew out of sight
“CPAP is good, but don’t eat pepperoni at night!”

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Post by Bonnie » Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:32 am

Too funny, Mike, can't wait for the book so I can cozy up with my machine and laugh.

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Post by SLEEPYCD » Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:58 am

Silly Man Moran,
Another great addition for this "This Book Blows"!!!!!! Thanks for the chuckle!!!!

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Post by dsg » Mon Dec 05, 2005 9:08 am


Additional Comments: Pressure: 12
Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted, counts.
-Albert Einstein


Post by Guest » Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:56 am

Never pass up a Mikemoran post. Lightens my day! :D :D :D

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Post by rested gal » Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:34 pm

Mike Moran rocks!! :D

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Post by WAFlowers » Tue Dec 06, 2005 11:28 am

Mike, this has to be your best ever!

Of course, I say that after almost every one of your posts.
The CPAPer formerly known as WAFlowers

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Post by cvansant » Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:33 pm


I don't chime in with a thank you every time you come up with another one. And as Bill says, this one better that the last. But, d@mn, I sure do enjoy reading 'em. If we couldn't laugh at it this whole mess, it/we would be pretty pathetic, wouldn't it?


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Post by mikemoran » Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:31 pm


You got that one nailed down right :D

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Post by Snoozie » Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:37 pm

Love it! Made my day, oops, I mean night.

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tig welding electrodes

Post by Nofbloode » Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:18 am

Are you serious?

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Re: Twas Months After Sleep Study

Post by chunkyfrog » Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:25 am

Cute, Mike.
Your book goes in my letter to Santa.

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I once was lost in apnea; but now I'm found--breathing easily all night long.

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Re: Twas Months After Sleep Study

Post by NotSleepingBeauty » Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:26 am

This was a great poem!

Is it really possible for CPAP to cause gas? I have had an awful stomach ache for two days now, started CPAP on the 15th. I don't think I am swallowing air... Would gasX help?

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Re: Twas Months After Sleep Study

Post by squid13 » Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:50 am

That was great Mike, made me laugh and think about all those exploding moments we have at the wrong time.

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