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General Discussion on any topic relating to CPAP and/or Sleep Apnea.
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mikemoran
 
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Twas Months After Sleep Study

Postby mikemoran on Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:26 am

Twas months after Sleep Study, when all through the house
No one was snoring, well maybe my spouse
My hose was scrunchied to the wall with care
To let me suck in that precious night air

The mask strapped tightly around my head
Looking like an alien abductee I lay in my bed
I started my quest for that perfect nap
My first time I ever tried the CPAP

After flipping the switch there was quite a commotion
Soon having second thoughts on this people pumping notion
With a cough and sputter and one mighty wheeze
My new found bed partner started its breeze

As water trickles down from the mountain into a stream
I drifted off to sleep, perchance even to dream
In my minds eye a movie soon was played
I was the latest balloon in Macy’s big parade

High in the sky of crisp winter weather
Tied to the earth by one single tether
Above the multitudes heart full of song
Not an inkling had I of what could go wrong

So buoyed was I by this wondrous inflation
I hardly noticed the growing lilt of flatulation
At first whisper quiet then it soon started to grow
Building and building to a blatting crescendo

In the fabric of me a hole was evidently rent
With escape of air like that of gastric embarrassment
My handlers let loose and I was no longer earth bound
I wooshed into the air with a whoopee cushion sound

Like a big party favor I started to fly
Whizzing and zooming all over the sky
I heard myself exclaim before I flew out of sight
“CPAP is good, but don’t eat pepperoni at night!”


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Bonnie
 
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Postby Bonnie on Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:32 am

Too funny, Mike, can't wait for the book so I can cozy up with my machine and laugh.

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Mask: Swift™ LT Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask with Headgear
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Bonnie

"People who say they slept like a baby apparently never had one"

SLEEPYCD
 

Postby SLEEPYCD on Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:58 am

Silly Man Moran,
Another great addition for this "This Book Blows"!!!!!! Thanks for the chuckle!!!!
CD

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dsg
 
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Postby dsg on Mon Dec 05, 2005 9:08 am

Bravo!!!

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Mask 
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Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted, counts.
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Postby Guest on Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:56 am

Never pass up a Mikemoran post. Lightens my day! :D :D :D

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rested gal
 
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Postby rested gal on Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:34 pm

Mike Moran rocks!! :D

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WAFlowers
 
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Postby WAFlowers on Tue Dec 06, 2005 11:28 am

Mike, this has to be your best ever!

Of course, I say that after almost every one of your posts.
The CPAPer formerly known as WAFlowers

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cvansant
 
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Postby cvansant on Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:33 pm

Mike,

I don't chime in with a thank you every time you come up with another one. And as Bill says, this one better that the last. But, d@mn, I sure do enjoy reading 'em. If we couldn't laugh at it this whole mess, it/we would be pretty pathetic, wouldn't it?

Clif

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mikemoran
 
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Postby mikemoran on Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:31 pm

Clif,

You got that one nailed down right :D

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Snoozie
 
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Postby Snoozie on Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:37 pm

Love it! Made my day, oops, I mean night.

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chunkyfrog
 
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Re: Twas Months After Sleep Study

Postby chunkyfrog on Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:25 am

Cute, Mike.
Your book goes in my letter to Santa.

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Please ignore xxyzx's posts. He is often so wrong it could be harmful. He is also delusional and extremely abusive.

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NotSleepingBeauty
 
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Re: Twas Months After Sleep Study

Postby NotSleepingBeauty on Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:26 am

This was a great poem!

Is it really possible for CPAP to cause gas? I have had an awful stomach ache for two days now, started CPAP on the 15th. I don't think I am swallowing air... Would gasX help?

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squid13
 
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Re: Twas Months After Sleep Study

Postby squid13 on Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:50 am

That was great Mike, made me laugh and think about all those exploding moments we have at the wrong time.

_________________
Mask: Forma Full Face CPAP Mask with Headgear
Humidifier: S9™ Series H5i™ Heated Humidifier with Climate Control
Additional Comments: AirCurve 10 ASV, ResScan 5.3.0.8936, SleepyHead V1.0.0-beta
US Navy Retired 1973,AirCurve 10 ASV, Mode: ASV Auto, Min EPAP: 6.8, Max EPAP: 15.0, Min PS:4.0, Max PS: 15.0, Backup: S9 VPAP Adapt 36037, PR System One REMstar 60 Series BiPAP Auto SV Advanced


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