Masks of the Myths and Famous

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 9:24 am

Throughout time man has searched for that Holy Grail of sleep therapy the leak proof comfortable mask. This interface has still eluded us as we embark on our personal quests. Here are just a few of the masks immortalized in legend and literature:

The Mask of Medusa – One of the original hosehead pioneers, Medusa developed the first multi-hose interface. Her innovative use of snakes to connect to her CPAP was greatly misunderstood by the people of her time. Not much is known about this mask’s effectiveness for the actual user, but bed partners were known to sleep like rocks.

The Hanging Masks of Babylon – While better known for the first effective use of Scrunchies in providing hose support, this communal CPAP also served as a major interface lab. Developers from around the ancient world came here to field test all the latest masks. It is said that it fell into ruins when all the test subjects accidentally inhaled at the same time.

The Breath Mask of King Tut – One of the most ornate masks of all time. Using a revolutionary process this golden mask was custom fitted to the direct contours of the boy king’s face. It was so leak proof that it is speculated this led to his early demise. My personal theory is it was the ancient Egyptian’s failure to invent humidifiers that was his downfall. This is supported by the many mummified remains found in the region.

The Man in the Iron Mask – This mask was developed during the Great Age of Compliance. Since pantyhose wasn’t available to provide additional mask support the mask developer’s of the day resorted to using rivets. While the initial fitting could be very painful, you never had to worry about removing your mask by accident in the middle of the night.

The Mask of The Red Breath – A renaissance creation often referred to as the Stradivarius of masks. Unfortunately there was a massive recall due to the use of Red Dye No. XXVI. It was this recall notice that Edgar Allen Poe used for the basis of his famous story.

The Mask of Snorro – This fighter of injustice was well known for his ability to keep whole villages awake. Unlike his cousin, he would remove his mask as he attacked the Federales in the middle of the night from a nearby encampment. This mask was highly effective but many people found it too hot and others got tired of the jalapeño smell night after night.

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 1:18 pm

I think we'll call the collection "The Miraculous Masks of Mike Moran - Jester Awakened by a Breath of Fresh Air" by the originator to the Few the Proud and the Inflated.

I started laughing out loud at the hanging mask... and was howling by the time they fell into ruins.

Thanks, as alway!

O.

P.S. One of these days we'll have to add FPI to the cpapopedia...

LDuyer · Post by **LDuyer** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:29 pm

Mikemoran,

Maybe I missed it because I don't post here often, but what do you do for a living?

If you're not a writer, then maybe you should be.
Or, rather, you are.
..... something like that.
You're the writer, you can articulate it better.

So interesting!
So fun!

Linda

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 9:20 pm

Linda I write on here because of what I do for living. Which is put that mask on every night. I figure we all can use a laugh. Now to earn my pay I'm actually an exec with a tech services company in DC. As to the writer part I can't really say. You never know with a sleep deprived audience. LOL

snork1 · Post by **snork1** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 9:32 pm

"..The Mask of Medusa –...., but bed partners were known to sleep like rocks. "

That one about dropped me on the floor!

Maybe the problem with the perfect sealing egyptian mask, was inventing that perfect sealing mask before electricty?

I can see it now. .... " D'oh! I think we just offed the pharoah while trying to cure his apnea. Maybe can just sweep it under the rug...or wrap him with the rug, and stuff him under the corner of this big triangley thing, and no one will notice...."

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:27 pm

How he does it, we'll never know. But keep doing it, Mike!!

JimH · Post by **JimH** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:38 pm

Another great job Mike!!!! I'll have to agree with Snork1 on the "Partners sleep like Rocks" one. Hilarious...

LDuyer · Post by **LDuyer** » Fri Nov 04, 2005 4:11 pm

mikemoran wrote:Linda I write on here because of what I do for living. Which is put that mask on every night. I figure we all can use a laugh. Now to earn my pay I'm actually an exec with a tech services company in DC. As to the writer part I can't really say. You never know with a sleep deprived audience. LOL

You mean you've been living and working near me all this time and I didn't know it? (Got any jobs?)

I see, so you write for fun. As it should be. Great!

Linda

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:39 am

LDuyer wrote:You mean you've been living and working near me all this time and I didn't know it? (Got any jobs?)

That is probably a good thing LOL I guessed you missed my star on the clown map. Just too many of us in DC (Company is always looking send a resume )

Masks of the Myths and Famous

Masks of the Myths and Famous

Sleep docs throughout history