Ode to a Balloon

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:06 pm

I was looking through the stats the other day
Reading there were 12 million of us in the USA
With only a small portion of us diagnosed
And millions and millions yet to be hosed

To think that my talent for nocturnal hesitation
Would set me apart from the rest of the nation
This made me realize I was among the rare and select
And on my strange journey I was compelled to reflect

Recalling complaints from my family’s sleepless vacation
I mentioned snoring at my medical examination
I guess I got lucky with the doctor from my HMO
Without hesitation he said to the Sleep Lab I must go

With golden ticket in hand I took that monitored nap
To be welcomed in the morning to the Land of CPAP
No more would my family from my rumbling suffer
The world would be better once outfitted with my puffer

No it wasn’t easy and I fought with compliance
Dreading my mask and my breezy bedside appliance
Nose covered or impaled combating each leak
Headband tighter then looser, every tweak

For months on end no nightly experience was the same
But by stubbornness or perseverance the mask I did tame
So now they all sleep soundly without my nightly ululations
But what else did I accomplish improving my inhalations?

Will my blood pressure go down? Am I avoiding a stroke?
Does my virility improve with each life giving toke?
Who knows what will happen? Way much too early to say
I just know its better as I arise for my day

And mysteriously I find after a night well spent
A heretofore hidden ability to wax eloquent
With phrases of humor and words well chose
I cover the pages with gifts from the hose

So my balloon brethren I too was once frustrated and confused
I truly hope when you read me you will smile and be amused
Feel honored as I do when it is simply stated
I am part of “The Few, the Proud the Inflated”

dsm · Post by **dsm** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 1:12 pm

Mike just keep em rollo=ing

As always thanks

DSM

WAFlowers · Post by **WAFlowers** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 1:46 pm

Mike, this is your best yet! "The Few, the Proud, the Inflated"!!! I really like that.

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:27 pm

Bravo, Mike!!

peg · Post by **peg** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:14 pm

WooHoo!!!!
This is the best yet!!

SLEEPYCD · Post by **SLEEPYCD** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 10:49 pm

Silly Man Moran,
This one brought tears to my eyes, (not my usual chuckle from your posts). It reminded me of how tough it really was at the beginning and how it gets easier with each passing day. We are getting better!!!! You are like the beautiful rainbow after a summer shower!!!! Sorry, I had a bad day...
CD

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Wed Nov 02, 2005 11:46 pm

How wonderful.
O.

Bonnie · Post by **Bonnie** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:13 am

I should know better that to read your posts while drinking liquids. Now I have to dry out my nose before inflating... The Few, the Proud, the Inflated is destined to become a classic line. We need TEE-SHIRTS!!!

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:14 pm

Johnny we need to talk merchandising LOL