Introducing CPAP Airways

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 8:18 am

Introducing CPAP Airways with our exclusive Fan Jet service guaranteed to make traveling a dream. No more tiring flights. No more being shaken awake because your snoring is interfering with the flight instruments. At CPAP Airways a “Red Eye” doesn’t mean more AHI. Our cabin pressure is your pressure. From our Windy City hub at O’Air airport we provide services to all major U.S. cities and select international locations.

You’ll love our Dream Class with the comfortable sleep number loungers with built in AutoPAPs including exhalation relief. Greeted at the door by our specially trained “Nighty Night Attendants” you’ll be offered a complete selection of interfaces to choose from. They will assist you in adjusting your mask for that perfect fit and set up your humidifier with a cocktail of your choice (available for a nominal charge in the other cabins). Just let the mint on your pillow melt in your mouth as you drift off to that perfect night’s sleep.

Our “Stress Less” Business class is geared towards making you ready for that important meeting. Extra leg room, nasal mask or pillow interfaces and memory foam pillows will let you get the rest the corporate road warrior deserves. Just leave the computer in the overhead, (We removed the tray tables anyway), and dream about how you are going to wow them during your presentation.

We didn’t forget our Economy class flyers either. CPAP Airways hired one of top Sleep Lab designers in the country to give you that true Sleep Study experience. Except for the wiring harness you will feel just like you did that first night you got to enjoy the thrills of CPAP. Just dial in your pressure into the CPAP console, over tighten your seat belt and head gear, lay you head back on the plastic pillow and be serenaded to sleep with that unique mask leak sound.

We will top off your humidifier with our complimentary distilled water at the beginning of the flight and leave you in peace. No pesky meal or drink service to disturb you and our pilots promise to never interrupt your slumber with announcements about landmarks you can’t see from the plane anyway. Even our most restless passengers will have a hard time keeping their eyes open as we show you the latest subtitled foreign agricultural documentaries in flight.

So welcome aboard and remember pajamas are optional.

Make Sure you check out our current special on a non-stop London flight to Breath-row Airport.

(CPAP Airways is a wholly owned subsidiary of Fly-By-Night Enterprises, Inc.)
(In accordance with FDA Regulations all CPAP Airways flights are designated Non-Snoring.)

neversleeps · Post by **neversleeps** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 8:22 am

In the event there is a sudden change in cabin pressure, we recommend autos for everyone.

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 8:29 am

neversleeps wrote:In the event there is a sudden change in cabin pressure, we recommend autos for everyone.

While we appreciate your suggestion, we strictly adhere to the current medical practice that changes in circumstances or environment does not justify the provision of AutoCPAPs.

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 8:36 am

ROTFL!!! You two!!!

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 10:03 am

ROTFL indeed!

O.