Come for the Therapy – Stay for the Fun

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 11:53 am

Congratulations and welcome to The Secret Society of Balloon People. Your ability to shake the foundations of your home and stammer with your breath even while sleeping has uniquely qualified you for membership in this august fellowship. No matter what we threw at you during your initiation, (should of seen the look on your face after being wired up for 20 minutes and realizing you had to go to the bathroom), you carried through and now its time to reap your rewards.

But first let me give you a little background on our organization. Our society got started when our Grand Nose-Blow got tired of over-inflating his extensive inflatable doll collection and said “Wouldn’t this be fun to try on real people?” So he got together a couple of associates, (rumored to be a used bicycle pump salesman and retired podiatrist), and risking their own lives they experimented. After trying multiple orifices they settled on the nose and discovered it was not only fun to whiz around the room but they were more rested and alert.

From this humble beginning the master plan was developed which can be summed up in our society’s motto “En Aero Nossus Blowsus Remoto Controlus”. Translated “In whose nose air is blown controls the remote”. The more alert we are, the faster we can get the remote and he who has the remote controls the world.

Just think of us as Shriners with Medical Devices. Once we can figure out how to not suck our own exhaust we will even have our own mini-motor brigade. You’ll learn more about that and other plans to come out of the bedroom at your first convention. At that time you will also be taught our secret nose shake and the special language we use to baffle the non-hosiated.

Until then you can take advantage of these immediate benefits:

24x7 Information Luke-Warm line found here
Extensive First Hand Mask Testing – let us abuse our nose before you do your own
Our extensive R&D Lab headed up by Rested Gal where she experiments with pantyhose and other Arcane Devices

Some other benefits we are working on for future introduction include a live 24 hour feed from your nearest Sleep Lab. Where you can join in the fun as Initiates who have just fallen into deep sleep are awoken to have a party mask strapped to their face. We also will be offering various workshops and seminars such as “Don’t Stick it There! – Safety with your CPAP” and “Blow In Their Face – Strategies for obtaining the remote”

So once again Congratulations and remember once a member you always need to be a member.

mommaw · Post by **mommaw** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 12:21 pm

Proud to be a member of such an elite society!

You crack me up.

Love it,
Gilda

peg · Post by **peg** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 3:24 pm

Great post!!

I have wondered.....
With the Halloween holiday on the way, how to decorate my mask.

Jason, Freddie, maybe Elvira. or just autumn leaves and a pumpkin.

Christmas, now that one I can really work with. Tinsel, bells, lights..
Oh, yeah, wrap twinkle lights around the six foot hose. They do have orange lights out now also. mmmmmmmmmm.
Gotta give this some thought.

Barb (Seattle) · Post by **Barb (Seattle)** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 6:16 pm

You guys are so funny LOL Thanks for the laughs

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 6:49 pm

For Trick or Treating I am gonna paint my mask red and go as Hozo the Clown. The only problem is I only have enough extension cord to get to the houses on either side of me and one of those hands out prayer cards. LOL

rock and roll · Post by **rock and roll** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 7:11 pm

Mike LOL, what do you do for a living?

Jere · Post by **Jere** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 7:22 pm

Very funny! I am still trying to repress my sleep study experiences...

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:46 pm

I was laughing already...and when I got to THIS, I couldn't even see!

At that time you will also be taught our secret nose shake and the special language we use to baffle the non-hosiated.

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:56 pm

rock and roll wrote:Mike LOL, what do you do for a living?

Well I don't know if you would call it a living but it does keep me in masks. Just a mild mannered exec for a tech company by day and a aereated bed potato at night

JimH · Post by **JimH** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 9:07 pm

Mike

one word- HILARIOUS.

Thanks for the laugh

Sleepless on LI · Post by **Sleepless on LI** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 9:20 pm

motto “En Aero Nossus Blowsus Remoto Controlus”. Translated “In whose nose air is blown controls the remote”.

I'm crying!!! You really have to stop doing this to all of us. Your posts should come with a suggestion to read before bedtime. I laughed so hard, my whole body is now relaxed. I just love that feeling!!! Who needs sleeps aids when we have you to relax us. Thank you.

rock and roll · Post by **rock and roll** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 9:39 pm

Well you ought to be writing for Sat Night Live!

FJC · Post by **FJC** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 5:34 am

I'm very new to the CPAP world (just getting my first machine today!), but I must say that this and other similar posts have REALLY helped me go into this with a positive attitude.

Thanks so much for that!

rock and roll · Post by **rock and roll** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 6:45 am

Attitude and a sense of humour are everything.

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 4:30 pm

FJC wrote:I'm very new to the CPAP world (just getting my first machine today!), but I must say that this and other similar posts have REALLY helped me go into this with a positive attitude.

Thanks so much for that!

I really do this for my own health but it so nice to know I do it for others too.

Thanks for getting it

Mask	Humidifier

Additional Comments: Pur~Sleep Oils (Love Them) Aussie Heated Hose, Encore Analyzer, Pad-A-Cheek Guards (Work Great!)