CPAP Stand Up (Humor)

[mikemoran]

Leave it to modern medical science to find a cure funnier than the symptoms. Can you imagine the laughs the doctor got when he pitched this therapy. “Now get this, it involves a pump, a hose, masks and a strap on to improve people’s performance in bed. And here is the best part. This is to stop snoring.” Laugh now, but the same doctor is working on a cure for enlarged prostrate.

I used to think I was pretty good at sleeping, now I go to bed every night knowing I literally suck.

Inflatable mattresses are all the rage now, but I am the first on my block with a sleep number head.

Remember the good old nights where the only leaks you worried about involved a late night stumble into the bathroom.

Sure you may laugh because my wife goes to bed with an inflatable bed partner, but when was the last time you got a prescription from your doctor to get blown?

Think we got it bad, you should see the horse drawn CPAPs the Amish use.

The look on a person’s face is priceless when I tell them I attach my hose to the wall in order to sleep at night.

CPAP - The other way to use silicone to inflate your chest.

According to my wife, with CPAP it’s the first time I had more air going in one end than coming out the other at night.

Though she and the kids sure miss their nightly game of “How many seconds before he starts breathing again?”

At first I was a little amused when she asked me to start calling her Clarisse, but it kind of freaked me out when she got that cinnamon bun hairdo and started referring to my part of the bed as the “Dark Side”.

You know you have adapted well to this therapy when you are happy that your bald spot it there to keep your head gear from slipping.

I guess I should be thrilled that my Apnea is being treated, but now I have to check in to rehab to help cure my silicone addiction. I don’t even want to get into how much money I’ve been sticking up my nose.

How come, instead of the good baseball analogies like “getting to third base” or “hitting a home run”, the only one associated with CPAP is “Rain Out”?

[SLEEPYCD]

Silly Man Moran,

Thanks for the morning chuckle!!!! I have missed you!!!!

Carolyn

[kteague]

Hi Mike. Last few days I had wondered if you were busy out on the road doing book signings. Still must get the book (just gotta get income first). I bet Letterman would get a kick out of you - have you pitched him yet for a spot on his show? Good to hear from you, good luck with book sales.
Kathy

[Bookbear]

ROTFLMAO!

[Liam1965]

Not to steal anyone's thunder, but for those who are relatively new and haven't read them, I'm told most people enjoy three humor "columns" I wrote on my sleep studies:

http://liam-humor.blogspot.com/2005/02/ ... -away.html

http://liam-humor.blogspot.com/2005/02/ ... vader.html

http://liam-humor.blogspot.com/2005/02/ ... d-man.html

Hope y'all enjoy them.

Liam, recycling old material, because he's become dull and boring in his old age.

[mikemoran]

Liam the Legend,

I think you were the first on this board to realize we all need a laugh. So glad to see you and timeless stuff never grows old.

[Guest]

I think you were the first on this board to realize we all need a laugh. So glad to see you and timeless stuff never grows old.

You give me too much credit. I'm simply a lot less mature than the rest of y'all.

Liam, sucking his thumb.

[Liam1965]

Whoops, forgot to log in.

Liam, who logged out of his mind last night and can't remember his password.

[Guest]

Those are great, Liam! Between you and Mike Moran I'll be laughing all day.

Without humor, this sure would be alot harder to live with. Thanks to both you for brightening my day.

[rested gal]

Thanks for another funny addition, Mike!!!

Liam, my sweet!! Click and scroll, scroll, scroll.....

LINKS to mikemoran humor

[Liam1965]

Thanks for another funny addition, Mike!!!

Liam, my sweet!! Click and scroll, scroll, scroll.....

LINKS to mikemoran humor

Ah, so I see I'm not really needed here any more. You've got an actual, successful user of CPAP to make y'all laugh.

I guess I can go back to the serious-minded person I've always wanted to be, compiling essays on the U.S. tax code and the Iraq war and other serious topics.

Liam, seriously, he CAN get through this entire post without smiling or cracking a joke.

[ldemmery]

Good one Mike... I shared them with my husband and a couple of friends also on CPAP.

BTW, what book are they talking about?

Lynne

[Guest]

Well folks after a few months of trying to correct my typos, the book is finally available. It is a collection of my posts that you have read on here in a portable prop up your CPAP with it form. Just right for you to pass along to friends and family.

You can order copies at iUniverse.com Just search under the title "This Book Blows". Johnny has been good enough to let me announce it on here and we are working out the details so he can list it on CPAP.com.

Just a reminder that all of it is on here if you don't want to buy a copy.

I hope you enjoy,

Mike

viewtopic.php?t=8253

[mikemoran]

Liam,

Breaths of insanity are needed as much as the air our bicycle pumps deliver to us each night. So you are always needed. So when the wild hair drags you here we will applaud it's effort. Bsides I need someone to read besides myself.

[Guest]

Mike, I read the sample they offer on the iuniverse.com site.. congratulations, you are a very good writer, you held my attention the whole time. I may just see about getting it and reading the whole thing.

Lynne