Twas Months After Sleep Study
Twas Months After Sleep Study
Twas months after Sleep Study, when all through the house
No one was snoring, well maybe my spouse
My hose was scrunchied to the wall with care
To let me suck in that precious night air
The mask strapped tightly around my head
Looking like an alien abductee I lay in my bed
I started my quest for that perfect nap
My first time I ever tried the CPAP
After flipping the switch there was quite a commotion
Soon having second thoughts on this people pumping notion
With a cough and sputter and one mighty wheeze
My new found bed partner started its breeze
As water trickles down from the mountain into a stream
I drifted off to sleep, perchance even to dream
In my minds eye a movie soon was played
I was the latest balloon in Macy’s big parade
High in the sky of crisp winter weather
Tied to the earth by one single tether
Above the multitudes heart full of song
Not an inkling had I of what could go wrong
So buoyed was I by this wondrous inflation
I hardly noticed the growing lilt of flatulation
At first whisper quiet then it soon started to grow
Building and building to a blatting crescendo
In the fabric of me a hole was evidently rent
With escape of air like that of gastric embarrassment
My handlers let loose and I was no longer earth bound
I wooshed into the air with a whoopee cushion sound
Like a big party favor I started to fly
Whizzing and zooming all over the sky
I heard myself exclaim before I flew out of sight
“CPAP is good, but don’t eat pepperoni at night!”
No one was snoring, well maybe my spouse
My hose was scrunchied to the wall with care
To let me suck in that precious night air
The mask strapped tightly around my head
Looking like an alien abductee I lay in my bed
I started my quest for that perfect nap
My first time I ever tried the CPAP
After flipping the switch there was quite a commotion
Soon having second thoughts on this people pumping notion
With a cough and sputter and one mighty wheeze
My new found bed partner started its breeze
As water trickles down from the mountain into a stream
I drifted off to sleep, perchance even to dream
In my minds eye a movie soon was played
I was the latest balloon in Macy’s big parade
High in the sky of crisp winter weather
Tied to the earth by one single tether
Above the multitudes heart full of song
Not an inkling had I of what could go wrong
So buoyed was I by this wondrous inflation
I hardly noticed the growing lilt of flatulation
At first whisper quiet then it soon started to grow
Building and building to a blatting crescendo
In the fabric of me a hole was evidently rent
With escape of air like that of gastric embarrassment
My handlers let loose and I was no longer earth bound
I wooshed into the air with a whoopee cushion sound
Like a big party favor I started to fly
Whizzing and zooming all over the sky
I heard myself exclaim before I flew out of sight
“CPAP is good, but don’t eat pepperoni at night!”
Too funny, Mike, can't wait for the book so I can cozy up with my machine and laugh.
_________________
Mask: Swift™ LT Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask with Headgear |
Humidifier: S9™ Series H5i™ Heated Humidifier with Climate Control |
Additional Comments: Sleepyhead, Aussie heated hose, Pad A Cheek Products |
Bonnie
"People who say they slept like a baby apparently never had one"
"People who say they slept like a baby apparently never had one"
- rested gal
- Posts: 12883
- Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:14 pm
- Location: Tennessee
Mike,
I don't chime in with a thank you every time you come up with another one. And as Bill says, this one better that the last. But, d@mn, I sure do enjoy reading 'em. If we couldn't laugh at it this whole mess, it/we would be pretty pathetic, wouldn't it?
Clif
I don't chime in with a thank you every time you come up with another one. And as Bill says, this one better that the last. But, d@mn, I sure do enjoy reading 'em. If we couldn't laugh at it this whole mess, it/we would be pretty pathetic, wouldn't it?
Clif
_________________
Mask: Ultra Mirage™ Full Face CPAP Mask with Headgear |
Humidifier: HC150 Heated Humidifier With Hose, 2 Chambers and Stand |
Additional Comments: Original= 9cm. current= APAP 7-11 |
- chunkyfrog
- Posts: 34394
- Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2010 5:10 pm
- Location: Nebraska--I am sworn to keep the secret of this paradise.
Re: Twas Months After Sleep Study
Cute, Mike.
Your book goes in my letter to Santa.
Your book goes in my letter to Santa.
_________________
Mask: AirFit™ P10 For Her Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask with Headgear |
Additional Comments: Airsense 10 Autoset for Her |
- NotSleepingBeauty
- Posts: 124
- Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2011 12:39 pm
- Location: New York
Re: Twas Months After Sleep Study
This was a great poem!
Is it really possible for CPAP to cause gas? I have had an awful stomach ache for two days now, started CPAP on the 15th. I don't think I am swallowing air... Would gasX help?
Is it really possible for CPAP to cause gas? I have had an awful stomach ache for two days now, started CPAP on the 15th. I don't think I am swallowing air... Would gasX help?
_________________
Mask: Mirage Quattro™ Full Face CPAP Mask with Headgear |
Additional Comments: Pressure 8,Sleepy Head, PurSleep, Papillow |
Re: Twas Months After Sleep Study
That was great Mike, made me laugh and think about all those exploding moments we have at the wrong time.
_________________
Machine: ResMed AirCurve 10 ASV Machine with Heated Humidifier |
Mask: Evora Full Face Mask - Fitpack |
Additional Comments: AirCurve 10 ASV, Oscar V1.0.1-r-1 |
US Navy Retired 1973,AirCurve 10 ASV, Mode: ASV Auto, Min EPAP: 7.2, Max EPAP: 15.0, Min PS:4.0, Max PS: 15.0, Mask ResMed Airtouch F20, Backup: (2) AirCurve 10 ASV