ready for saturday night!

General Discussion on any topic relating to CPAP and/or Sleep Apnea.
new2
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ready for saturday night!

Post by new2 » Sat May 12, 2007 8:33 am

OK , so I got my new little pillow mask. It's a Swift II.
My NAOI is getting old and darker and just doesn't look new anymore so I took what my DME recommended (had is stock), since I would have to wait a week for my NAOI (remember , this is for date night). I tried it out last night. I may have snored, I don't know. Mouth was a little dry this morning.
My new Swift II seems quiet enough so I plan on keeping it this way by not ever taking it apart to clean.I think that's the secret.
I hope he likes me in it. It looks like a snorkel on me.
I have to break him in to the whole CPAP thing.
I can't decide.
I have my NAOI, but the tubing has turned a little grey from the dishwasher. So my choices for tonight are :
A) Snorkel
BA) fat cannula (with the chance he may think I need to clean it because of some discolouration) but kind of cute on.
Remember, this is for esthetics only, to see of he's a keeper.
If he passes the test, we'll move on to the big guns, my wonderful Hybrid with homemade pad a cheek. I just don't want to scare him off on the first sleep-over.
I found it's best not to tell them, just pull out the little cannula, usually no headgear, and then after plopping comfortably down on my pillow,let the questions fly and answer like it's nothing special.
I'm actually crying as I'm typing this.I feel like such a looser.


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new2
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Post by new2 » Sat May 12, 2007 8:35 am

spellcheck made my NAII into NAOI oor whatever.
I"m mean the nasalaire II. sorry

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Catnapper
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Saturday night

Post by Catnapper » Sat May 12, 2007 8:54 am

Wouldn't it be great if he shows up with his own machine and mask?

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DivinMercy
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Post by DivinMercy » Sat May 12, 2007 9:27 am

Oh honey...you may find that the anticipation/anxiety about the whole thing is worse than the actual event.

It makes me so sad to read your letter. I know you know this, but this is a medical condition which is necessary to treat...just like diabetes or my degenerative disc disease and arthritis which requires me to wear all kinds of braces and TENS units and etc. I just have to believe that my husband will love me for me and not what I wear on my body. He is now a CPAPer too, but I worried about it in the beginning.

It HAS to be done and certain changes and adaptations are necessary whether we like it or not. So WE have to accept it first; then we will be more comfortable introducing it to others, IMHO.

I know it's hard, but think of it this way: if a guy is so stupid as to discount the real YOU and all that you are....all your personality traits and humor and whatever made him attracted to you in the first place....if he discounts all that and looks at what you put on right before lights out TO HELP YOU SLEEP...then he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who is worth it. At least this may help you decide who is really right for you

I'll bet you'll find that most guys ask questions and are interested, but as for being turned off....well, if the posts here are any indication, married or unmarried, most people of both sexes seem to come through with flying colors and just accept the machine and therapy as a way of life for you and no big deal. If it is a problem, it needs to be talked through to find out the cause.

Heck, this doesn't even impact your "daytime" life. I have to be pushed in a wheelchair whenever going ANY distance, because my back is so bad I can't walk after a certain point. I have 6 children, a husband, and friends who have all enthusiastically taken me to parks and shows and put up with my inability to walk. So even though I hate it, even something as disruptive as the stupid wheelchair can be overcome. Not complaining here, just telling my "daytime" troubles. CPAP is a piece of cake FOR ME, comparatively speaking.

Be brave, be confident, act as if the whole thing is perfectly normal.....try anyway...and have fun.....don't just be dreading the end of the night. I will keep you in prayer today, that your anxiety recedes.

THIS DOES NOT TAKE AWAY FROM YOUR SELF WORTH. If guys can't handle this, you have to understand that it is their problem, not yours

God Bless you...I'll be thinking of you...

ps...sorry if this is too personal...I am such a mom...

Mary

Mom of 6 and 3 in Heaven
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CollegeGirl
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Post by CollegeGirl » Sat May 12, 2007 12:20 pm

I find it actually DOES help to address it before things even get that far. I find some way to casually drop it into conversation at some point. It's not a big deal - and if they freaked out or got flaky, it would be over before it even got started. More people have experience with CPAP than you realize (a friend or relative or roommate may have had it even if they don't). I haven't had a guy freak out on me yet - and it really helps dissolve any tension I have around that fact. My current boyfriend has no qualms about it whatsoever. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if HE ended up with a CPAP. He snores like a freight train. LOL

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On the hose since 2005.

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cwsanfor
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Post by cwsanfor » Sun May 13, 2007 4:27 pm

New2: How'd it go?

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new2
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Post by new2 » Mon May 14, 2007 8:27 am

Things went well, but I wasn't ready for the overnight thing so I sent him home at 11pm with a story that involved church early in the morning. Let's just say I'm a coward.

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tangents
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Post by tangents » Mon May 14, 2007 9:11 am

Coward? Hardly. Don't be so hard on yourself! If you're not ready to share, you're not ready to share. Nobody on this forum is likely to judge you, IMHO. We feel for you. Personally, I think things will turn out best for you if you give yourself permission to be comfortable, no matter how long that takes.

All the best,
Cathy

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Babette
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Post by Babette » Mon May 14, 2007 11:48 am

Dear New2,

I think talking about your CPAP casually over dinner is better than plopping back on the pillow after sex and whipping it out.

I'm sorry if this embarrasses you too much to talk about before having sex. I can only liken it to how I felt at 20. I was too embarrassed to discuss birth control prior to sex, but I could have sex.

I got pregnant. The rest of the story isn't pretty.

Talking about your CPAP is far less of a trauma than risking pregnancy.

Talking about your CPAP is far less of a trauma than risking an STD or HIV/AIDS.

If you are still hesitant, please role play with someone. Maybe here? It's a nice safe anonymous environment.

I would be very happy to help you role play possible conversation starters:

NEW2: "YAWN! Oh my, so sorry! How rude! (laughs) I am just sleeping so rough lately with my new CPAP mask. Takes a few weeks to break in a new mask, you know."

Boyfriend: "What's a cpap?"

NEW2: "Oh, you know, a breathing machine for sleep apnea. It helps keep my airway clear, so I don't quit breathing and die in my sleep. (chuckles) I just HATE IT when that happens! (laughs)"

Boyfriend: "Wow! Like, are you old or sick or something? You look so young and healthy! I've never dated anyone who had THAT!"

NEW2: (Laughs) Oh, you probably have. Alot of people have this - even thin and young people. It's gotten more publicity lately, so more and more people are getting tested and finding out they have it. Some people are just too embarrassed to tell anyone, though. (laughs) I'm lucky, I belong to a chat forum that has really been supportive and helped me get used to the whole process. I feel so much more comfortable with myself now. I could never have shared this a few months ago."

Boyfriend: "I'm really honored that you told me. I don't think you should be embarrassed. Will you show me your machine and how it works? I'm intrigued."

Yeah, okay, a little fantasy went on here, but TRUST ME - No one but an ABSOLUTELY SCHMUCK is going to go "Gross! Get away!" and turn and run. Or claim an early morning meeting. It hurts when the schmucks reject you - yes. But it clears the path for the princes to walk up.

Best Wishes,
Barbara - Who has met some Schmucks and Princes in her life, and is grateful for both - The Schmucks are there so you can notice and appreciate the Princes


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neverbetter
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Post by neverbetter » Mon May 14, 2007 12:52 pm

Darn, this forum just gets better and better !

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jabberwock
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Post by jabberwock » Mon May 14, 2007 1:03 pm

Oh, Barbara, that's sure telling it like it is

I'll be sure to keep this thread in mind when I need to face this situation!

Bonnie

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Babette
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Post by Babette » Mon May 14, 2007 2:03 pm

I do apologize if I came off harsh. I really worry about young girls getting into trouble. It's my job. I work in education.

But you know, there's alot of discussions that really need to had before sex. CPAP shouldn't be the worst one.

Cheers,
B.


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tangents
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Post by tangents » Tue May 15, 2007 7:32 am

Barbara,

What a wonderful addition you are to this forum, IMHO! Funny, smart, and kind to boot. This is my presentation to you...

Image

Have a great day,
Cathy

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Babette
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Post by Babette » Tue May 15, 2007 9:22 am

Danke Schoene! Darlin' Danke Schoene, Thank you for... oops, sorry, it's so hard. I keep channeling Wayne Newton...

Hey, New2, do you hate me now? I'm sorry. I'm terribly, terribly blunt. I didn't mean to offend or hurt you. I mean to HELP you in my horrible abrasive way.

I was a very easily embarrassed young person. I got myself into all sorts of trouble. At some point in my life, that all dropped away. Now I have no embarrassment, modesty, or shame. That seems to get me in trouble, too, just of a different kind.

My aim is to help you do life better than I did it myself.

Feel free to flame me, PM or here. I'm tough. I can take it.

Hugs,
Auntie B

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Jefe
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Post by Jefe » Tue May 15, 2007 11:44 am

When I first started sleeping with my GF (Now Fiance) she wouldn't wear the mask, or tell me about it. She just put on a breathe right strip for the snoring (or so she said) and went to sleep. She would wake up with a pounding headache.

I freaked out, thinking she was allergic to me or something. Then, one night, I dropped my cell phone, and under the bed, I see a light. I pull out the source -- a CPAP machine. I asked her what it was, and she explained. She was too embarrassed to let me see it until then. From that point on, I was the guardian of the mask. If she falls asleep without it, I wake her up. If we travel, I make sure she packed it.

Now, over a year later, when I was prescribed my own CPAP, we support each other. It's a helluva lot easier when you have someone who's been through it to help. At the same time, I've learned a ton from this forum, which I've shared with her.

I wish she had explained from the beginning. It may have motivated me to go in for a study sooner!


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