First of all, thank you so much for so many reply s!
I have updated my account to include my equipment.
There are a few points I need to clarify: When I refer to my past history of episodic depression/anxiety, keep in mind it was the distant past. As far as I can tell it started when I was 12 years old and used to cycle for about every five or six years. While I make pains to link the two - depression and anxiety - it usually alternated between primarily depression in one episode and primarily anxiety (panic attacks and all that entails) in the next. For the most part in my early years it went untreated; it would abate by itself, but leaving a lot of wreckage behind ( along with some really good insights into empathy, compassion, the human condition, and self awareness.) The major point being that the cycling was in the past........I have been on Paxil and largely symptom free some 15 years before CPAP. Also, without getting into a lot of details, all indicators pointed too a biological/brain chemistry causation.
True, sometimes a particular med can stop being affective, but that doesn't explain how my symptoms went away after stopping CPAP.
Furthermore, much like the first commentator Kaisagram, while I was on CPAP I didn't notice this "overwhelming refreshing" awaking in the morning like most do. At first it could be said to be "like yea alright, but nothing to write home about" and then later just before I discontinued, my mornings were filled with fears and anxiety like some large hammer over my head ready to strike, which would only abate the closer I got to nighttime .........something that was very much apart of my symptoms so many years ago.
I realize that sleep apnea is a dangerous thing and I would like to get back on CPAP but not at the expense of my old nemesis coming back to haunt me. I cannot state that enough. It would be hard for a non sufferer to understand this.......or possibly even a mild sufferer. To give an example an elderly neighbour who had suffered the same type of depression throughout her life and was also battling cancer commented to me " oh the cancer doesn't bother or scare me, but the damn depression, oh the damn depression" and I knew exactly what she meant. The reason I have posted on this forum is that maybe, just maybe, I might get some insight into how I can have "my cake and eat it too".
I also understand that my case is probably atypical and not simple. I have little confidence in my sleep doctor and the sleep clinic that handled me. At the begging there was a lot of BS going on without getting into a lot of details. It seemed between them and the seller of the equipment they were only looking out to grind out as many dollars as they could. As far as the machine goes I don't even know if it can collect the data some of you mentioned, and if so, was I told how to even get at it. Furthermore, I was started off at too low of a setting ( waking up with a sensation of not being able to breath, ironically something I have never experienced without the machine!) in which I was forbidden from changing ( wasn't told how too) the air setting without having to wait for another sleep session and another appointment with the doctor. Well, I went online and learned how to adjust the thing myself and here is the great part........they informed me two months later what my ideal setting was when I had fooled around myself and arrived at just this setting and was at it for the two months before they told me!
Oh and I forgot, my case gets even more atypical, in that I have fallen into a weird sleep pattern these last few years. Because I own my own business my work hours are a bit more flexible than most. I usually awake at 9 or 930am and see to my business appointments and such till around five or six pm. Then I sleep for an hour or two, wake up and do my paper work and such then maybe go to bed around 2am or so. I know I am going to get a lotta flack for this, but it really has suited me fine, and I find myself quite a bit more productive under this routine. They have since found precedent in past for this type of pattern ( two sleep cycles ) being the normal one and not what we now consider to be normal. Winston Churchill had this sleep habit also, and he seemed to manage all his many responsibilities during the war. (and he also suffered from periodic depression)
Above all thanks for your comments they are greatly appreciated!