I am ashamed of my cpap?

[back2good]

I am an eighteen year old girl. I actually just got my cpap today. I don't have severe apnea but enough that it is effecting me. I am getting less than 1% of REM at night and waking up 2-3 times an hour. When I was a young child I had granulomas resulting in three tracheostomies. So I guess it isn't really surprising that I developed sleep apnea.

Anyways, I am extremely embarrassed of my cpap. The mask is awful! What am I going to do when I move in with a boyfriend/husband? How does it effect sleeping with them? Your sex life? I cannot see myself using this thing the rest of my life! What am I too do?

[greatunclebill]

the first thing you need to do is start sleeping with your machine and not worry about the rest of it. as you mature and get comfortable with yourself you'll worry less about what other people think. for now concentrate about getting comfortable with your machine that you likely will need til death do you part.

[Gizmogidget]

Im fairly young and I was embarrassed at first and afraid my husband would not understand. He was very supportive. For him the mask is way sexier than my horrible snoring. I think it will get easier with time.

[Janknitz]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this at such a young age, but this is better than going untreated for a long time. I often wonder if my brain would function better if I'd been treated for sleep apnea when I was much younger.

In every relationship, there comes a time where you have to show your warts. When it comes to that special person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you will probably have already shared your story of the granulomas, and the CPAP discussion will be part of that.

I know it seems daunting now. The first night I kicked my husband out of the bedroom (he was used to sleeping on the couch because of my snoring anyway), and for a long time I would not put it on until he was alseep. But at some point I just got over myself.

And he was fine with it. If I fall asleep watching t.v. he will wake me up and remind me to "put on my snorkel". When we make whoppee, he always checks afterward to make sure I put it on before I fall alseep. He's a "keeper" and this is one way you will know if this is the right person for you--he will care about making sure you have your CPAP on so you will be safe through the night. You can think of it as your "relationship testing device". A guy who would be intimidated by the machine is not someone you want to be spending time with anyway.

Give it some time and it will be as much a part of you as putting on your pj's and brushing your teeth before you go to bed.

Meanwhile, don't try to think of the rest of your life--one night at a time. One hour, one minute if necessary. It will get easier, I promise.

[KrisasMan]

Don't worry, they are pretty quiet and easy for a partner to get used to, especially if you snore. Some people even pay for a white noise machine to help them sleep, you have one built into your CPAP! My wife and I have made a bit of a game of seeing how much we can do before I have to take it off!

Just remember if they care about you they will not mind, great filter for guys who care about you vs guys interested in themselves (that part is from my wife).

[Gerryk]

First off you have to be comfortable with the cpap before worrying about anyone else. Second, the cpap is going to increase your quality of life. If someone thinks ewww then they aren't the kind of person you want to allow them the opportunity to have you in their life.
I know it is easy to say this but it is true, don't worry about what others think, you are by far much harder on yourself than others.

Lastly when you do get married and put your mask on your husband may like the idea of sleeping with a hot young female fighter pilot!

[ozze_dollar]

I guess its easier when you are older. You dont really care if someone likes it or not. I was already 65 when I started and it was no problem for my wife who doesnt have to listen to my snoring any more.

[IndyDave]

As everyone said, concentrate on the moment, and feeling better. Technology and medicine move fast. As cpap use is becoming more and more common, there will be more incentive to invent and introduce new devices and treatments. Who knows what may be coming down the line? You will aways fine great support in this forum, so let us know how things go as you get used to using it.

[am7357]

I am new to CPAP as well and wonder: what if we DON'T have a partner now? How will we ever find one?? After all, it is much easier for a spouse or someone you has been with for a long time to accept this stuff, rather than for someone you just met and to whom you have to tell them that you will be using a CPAP every night.

[BlackSpinner]

I am new to CPAP as well and wonder: what if we DON'T have a partner now? How will we ever find one?? After all, it is much easier for a spouse or someone you has been with for a long time to accept this stuff, rather than for someone you just met and to whom you have to tell them that you will be using a CPAP every night.

It helps weed out the jerks. Do you really want someone in your life who thinks his "ickies" are more important then your health? Do you think someone like that will support your through a challenging pregnancy? or other life challenges?

[Rock Star]

perfect time for me to make my first post. not new for me been doin this for 6 years now believe me it wont matter when you get the right man. get used to the maxchine or you wont have a life never mind a sex life.

[fredboy]

I was at first too. I gave up shared accomodation at hostels which was hard for me to do as Im an avid globetrotter!

Here's the deal. If youre making out or having sex, you arent going to be on cpap,only when you sleep.
You just explain to future bed partners what apnea is, why cpap is so important and what life without is like.

If the guy is worth having around he will TOTALLY understand and then you're all set.
As we get older, we do start caring less and less what other people think.
My regret in life was not developing that concept in my 20s!

Look at the cpap as a great way to start inncorporating that concept now and
therefore healthy for you in MORE than just the obvious and usual way

That "I dont care what others think" concept is actually quite a healthy stance emotionally !

[am7357]

Thanks, Fredboy. That was quite helpful!

[1tree]

I won't tell you that no guy might have a hang up over the thing. The truth is that there are many people who are hung up on all kinds of things. But I believe that if a guy can't get past the cpap machine then the long term relationship wouldn't work anyway. At some point such a guy is going to have some issue with something and move on.

But there is something that many (maybe most) young people don't really grasp. The reality is that at sleep time you eventually learn to do just that - sleep. My machine is quiet enough that I can't hear it if my wife's fan is on. And as others have pointed out you don't wear the thing while doing recreational activities.

[macewa]

I really do hear what you are saying and what I'm going to suggest isn't really going to change anything, except try to make it more fun for you. Why not decorate it? you most probably could put decals on it. That won't really change anyhing but might make it seem more friendly right now while you get used to it. Actually I think I might do that with mine.

I am an eighteen year old girl. I actually just got my cpap today. I don't have severe apnea but enough that it is effecting me. I am getting less than 1% of REM at night and waking up 2-3 times an hour. When I was a young child I had granulomas resulting in three tracheostomies. So I guess it isn't really surprising that I developed sleep apnea.

Anyways, I am extremely embarrassed of my cpap. The mask is awful! What am I going to do when I move in with a boyfriend/husband? How does it effect sleeping with them? Your sex life? I cannot see myself using this thing the rest of my life! What am I too do?