OT: Daily Funny bone
Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
50 children's books that never made it to the bookstore.
1. You are Different and That’s Bad
2. Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me
3. Dad’s New Wife ‘Greg’
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It" Book:
6. A Children's Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. How to Kick Ass At School
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. Adoption: A Fresh Start
13. Grandpa's new Casket
14. Fun With Abandoned Refrigerators
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
19. Why You Were An Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. "Pop! Goes the Hamster", And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Nightmares: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
24. A Child's Guide to Final Arrangments
25. Eggs, Toilet paper, and your School
26. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool
30. If It Feels Good, Touch It!
31. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet
32. 101 Fun Games To Play In The Road
33. You Can’t Help It If You’re Stupid
34. Patty Went Splat! (Don’t YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)
35. Bullies Have More Fun
36. Mommy’s Got A New Baby To Love
37. Timmy’s The Wrong Color To Be Your Friend
38. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You’re Not A Sissy
39. Michael Jackson’s “Fun” Place
40. Harry Potter and the Stoned Sorcerer
41. The Care Bears maul some campers
42. Who’s My Daddy?
43. Fatherhood: A Guide for the Adolescent
44. Small Objects and Electrical Outlets
45. Different Daddies Each Day of the Week
46. Operation and Nomenclature of the Colt 1911-A1 .45 ACP
47. Little Hands, Big Toasters
48. How To Make A Plastic Bag Space Helmet
49. Santa Claus And Other Lies Your Parents Told You
50. Fun With Things Under The Kitchen Sink
Edited #21 for Chunky Frog
1. You are Different and That’s Bad
2. Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me
3. Dad’s New Wife ‘Greg’
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It" Book:
6. A Children's Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. How to Kick Ass At School
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. Adoption: A Fresh Start
13. Grandpa's new Casket
14. Fun With Abandoned Refrigerators
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
19. Why You Were An Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. "Pop! Goes the Hamster", And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Nightmares: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
24. A Child's Guide to Final Arrangments
25. Eggs, Toilet paper, and your School
26. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool
30. If It Feels Good, Touch It!
31. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet
32. 101 Fun Games To Play In The Road
33. You Can’t Help It If You’re Stupid
34. Patty Went Splat! (Don’t YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)
35. Bullies Have More Fun
36. Mommy’s Got A New Baby To Love
37. Timmy’s The Wrong Color To Be Your Friend
38. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You’re Not A Sissy
39. Michael Jackson’s “Fun” Place
40. Harry Potter and the Stoned Sorcerer
41. The Care Bears maul some campers
42. Who’s My Daddy?
43. Fatherhood: A Guide for the Adolescent
44. Small Objects and Electrical Outlets
45. Different Daddies Each Day of the Week
46. Operation and Nomenclature of the Colt 1911-A1 .45 ACP
47. Little Hands, Big Toasters
48. How To Make A Plastic Bag Space Helmet
49. Santa Claus And Other Lies Your Parents Told You
50. Fun With Things Under The Kitchen Sink
Edited #21 for Chunky Frog
Last edited by ameriken on Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Thinking of quitting CPAP?
No problem, here's the first thing to do when you quit:
Advanced funeral planning. When you give up CPAP, you'll probably need it.
No problem, here's the first thing to do when you quit:
Advanced funeral planning. When you give up CPAP, you'll probably need it.
- Perrybucsdad
- Posts: 834
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- Location: Northeast Ohio
Six Brazilians
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says
6 Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing 'That's horrible.'
Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving and
there is that risk involved.'
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, 'How many is a
Brazilian?
6 Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing 'That's horrible.'
Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving and
there is that risk involved.'
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, 'How many is a
Brazilian?
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- chunkyfrog
- Posts: 34390
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
Ameriken:
Hysterical--except for #21!
Hysterical--except for #21!
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
*Covers Chunky's eyes shielding her from viewing anymore gross frog jokes*
Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
So I edited #21 to keep peace in the cpaptalk family.
Thinking of quitting CPAP?
No problem, here's the first thing to do when you quit:
Advanced funeral planning. When you give up CPAP, you'll probably need it.
No problem, here's the first thing to do when you quit:
Advanced funeral planning. When you give up CPAP, you'll probably need it.
Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
Ameriken, you gotta change it again
I grew up on hamsters *cries*
In fact, I still remember the last one I had at age 16, white with golden pantaloons. I named him Sidney *cries even harder*
I grew up on hamsters *cries*
In fact, I still remember the last one I had at age 16, white with golden pantaloons. I named him Sidney *cries even harder*
Last edited by Starlette on Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
Now we know why those are childrens books that didn't make it!!!
Thinking of quitting CPAP?
No problem, here's the first thing to do when you quit:
Advanced funeral planning. When you give up CPAP, you'll probably need it.
No problem, here's the first thing to do when you quit:
Advanced funeral planning. When you give up CPAP, you'll probably need it.
Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
Rotten humor, in word or deed, is undoubtedly as old as humanity.Starlette wrote:*Covers Chunky's eyes shielding her from viewing anymore gross frog jokes*
I remember my mother telling me that when she and her brother were children (about 95 years ago when rural life was different!) they used to find a dry hollow weed that would work for a straw. They'd catch a frog from the pond, stick the straw into the you-know-where, blow them full of air, and then toss them back into the pond. She didn't say how long it was before the frog could swim underwater again. They just got a kick out of watching the frog try to go down, but of course was too buoyant to do so. At least they didn't kill them.
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
@ Ameriken *taps Ameriken on the shoulder* In the defense of hamsters, I changed my avatar
Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
Me too. Oh the sheer pleasure of enjoying a Twinkie!Starlette wrote:I changed my avatar
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
OK Ameriken, the pressure is on!!! That makes "Two" Hamster avatars!!!
Anyone else????
btw Mtnboy: Thank you for supporting hamsters
Anyone else????
btw Mtnboy: Thank you for supporting hamsters
Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
Sorry, that's a chipmunk - out in the wild mountains of central Idaho. Hamster relative, maybe??? The cuteness of your hamster reminded me of the pics and video I have of the chipmunk enjoying a piece of Twinkie one of us in the group tossed him. One of the cutest things I've ever seen in the wild.Starlette wrote:OK Ameriken, the pressure is on!!! That makes "Two" Hamster avatars!!!
Anyone else????
btw Mtnboy: Thank you for supporting hamsters
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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
I kept thinking that might be a chipmunk, especially with the tail. However, I wasn't going press it.
Relative to the hamster, indeed! Small slim body, loves to eat, cute, yeah I'd say a relative to the hamster.
Still makes two!
@ Mtnboy - Again, thank you for supporting hamsters
Relative to the hamster, indeed! Small slim body, loves to eat, cute, yeah I'd say a relative to the hamster.
Still makes two!
@ Mtnboy - Again, thank you for supporting hamsters
- Perrybucsdad
- Posts: 834
- Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 7:09 am
- Location: Northeast Ohio
Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
The Pastors Wife
The pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, the congregation passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck....After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary....A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing
the church, and how much more it could potentially cost....After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are
a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."...Silence fell over the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand,
and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
The entire congregation said, "Amen
The pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, the congregation passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck....After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary....A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing
the church, and how much more it could potentially cost....After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are
a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."...Silence fell over the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand,
and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
The entire congregation said, "Amen
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- 2 B Sleeping Soundly
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- Location: Southern California
Re: OT: Daily Funny bone
LOL! As Larry the Cable Guy likes to say..."I don't care who you are, That's Funny"!
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One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read." -- Steven Wright