My story is a little different, because I don't have sleep apnea. My husband does. However I'm finding it really hard to deal with, whereas my husband seems pretty matter-of-fact about it and is more relieved at the prospect of better sleep.
The reason I'm finding this so difficult to digest is that my father died a few years ago from complications caused by sleep apnea. We had known for decades that he had sleep apnea, but none of us really realised how dangerous it could be. I lost a younger brother to a car accident that happened when my father fell asleep at the wheel despite having had 7 hours of sleep the night before. I'm putting this, and little things like seeing him fall asleep over dinner while growing up, together, and realising just how much of our entire family's lives have been negatively affected by sleep apnea.
When Dad died a few years ago, I became hypervigilant and told my husband I had seen him stop breathing in his sleep, too. He said that I was just imagining things because of my dad, and I believed him because I WAS extremely emotional at the time. Four years and a confirmed diagnosis of sleep apnea later and I'm kicking myself for not pushing to get my husband checked earlier. I'm afraid that I'll lose a third family member to this disease, and I can't help but think about the damage that has already been caused. Who knows how long he has been suffering from sleep apnea? It could have been decades, too.
I'm also frustrated because while I'm devouring all the information I can find, I have to push and prod my husband to do anything. He says he is committed to making the CPAP work, and to be fair to him I think he's doing what he can, but every time he removes the mask now because it's uncomfortable, I lie awake listening to him breathe. My quality of sleep has never been worse. I lie next to him thinking of settings I could tweak that might allow him to wear the mask longer, and there are a LOT of settings. I feel like I have sleep apnea too from how little I sleep.
Thanks for listening.