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Especially for newly diagnosed - Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 7:05 pm
by idamtnboy
In response to the discussion in the thread about an unsupportive spouse I felt prompted to revise a write up I have concerning dealing with change. We encounter changes of all sorts through life, including the one when we received the diagnosis of sleep apnea. How we respond is almost always the same, albeit in different degrees and intensity. The emotional phases we go through are shock, denial, depression, and acceptance.

The information I share is derived from a work seminar on the subject and my own experiences of life. I trust it will be of benefit to some.

Coping with Change for CPAP Patients

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 7:10 pm
by roster
Very nice. Thanks.

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 7:16 pm
by scrapper
This is excellently done, idamtnboy!

One thing I expected in the list, that I didn't see, was bargaining...........possibly that's a part of denial????

In grief, there's a similar cycle--including bargaining.

I specifically remember bargaining around the time of 9/11 in the months that my hubby was dying, soon to leave me with two little ones. At the age of 42, the "worst" thing I could think of was getting pregnant again! I tried to bargain with God, "Please Lord, just take this brain tumor away........I'll even have more children, if that be Your will."

Fast forward 2 1/2 -- 3 years. The husband died shortly after I was bargaining with God, and the most intense part of grief was beginning to lift. My conversation with God went like this: "Thank you for NOT giving me more children. I don't like this situation so much either, but I can deal with it. I can't imagine dealing with a 2 year old at this age!"

Idamtnboy, what are you going to use this handout for? It's too well done to only post here..........I hope you'll expand your audience. You've done a great job!

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 7:55 pm
by idamtnboy
scrapper wrote:This is excellently done, idamtnboy!

One thing I expected in the list, that I didn't see, was bargaining...........possibly that's a part of denial????
...........
In grief, there's a similar cycle--including bargaining.Idamtnboy, what are you going to use this handout for? It's too well done to only post here..........I hope you'll expand your audience. You've done a great job!

Thank you very much. I truly appreciate your thoughts. I will have to admit that "bargaining" is one I hadn't come across before. I'll have to do some looking, because it does make sense. My first reaction is though, like anger, it may be a coping mechanism more so than a distinct phase. Thanks for mentioning it.

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 8:15 pm
by tschultz
Thanks for posting this.

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 8:25 pm
by BernieRay
I haven't had a chance to read the entire document, mainly because of the profound nature of this statement:

Unquestionably our emotions are shaped by our ideologies, but they are not constrained by our ideologies.


This deserves some meditation and reflection...

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 8:55 pm
by cflame1
bargining is a part of what I was taught about the steps of grieving... after I lost my dad.

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:19 pm
by BernieRay
Yeah, I removed my ramblings about bargaining, since it is one of the 5 steps in Kübler-Ross's model. I really shouldn't post when it's after my bedtime...

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 1:41 pm
by idamtnboy
In response to the comments re: bargaining I've added some words recognizing that concept.

Coping with Change for CPAP Patients

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 1:47 pm
by Drowsy Dancer
This needs to be stickied at the top of the forum.

DD

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:06 pm
by Mr Bill
I really liked what you related about personal losses and I identified with some of it.

You should rent one of my favorite movies, 'All That Jazz'. It came out in the 80's and it is a brilliant musical about a Broadway choreographer who pushes himself to the very edge and will not give up his life style no matter how it affects his health. It is explicitly based on Kübler-Ross's model and, well, its just wonderful.

A moment seared into my brain was sitting on the side of the bed after the diagnostic phase and hearing that I had profound, severe, complex sleep apnea and that it was time to put on a mask that I would probably have to wear the rest of my life. I was a couple of months with hardly any sleep and that night in the sleep lab was even worse and someone was standing there asking me to evaluate and make a decision.

Re: Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:36 pm
by OutaSync
Idamtnboy,

That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Bev

Re: Especially for newly diagnosed - Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 11:05 am
by tattooyu
Thank you so much. I recognize much of this from losing my son Andrew (a preemie) and also when I was diagnosed.

A co-worker of mine is in the apnea club, another joined later (no longer working here but healither!), and still another may join soon. This will help a lot.

Re: Especially for newly diagnosed - Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:52 pm
by redjoe
Tattoo:

Baby Jonah is adorable, and absolutely right! I'm also very sorry you lost Andrew. Knowing what it's been like for some of the women in my family, I would not wish that pain on anyone.

Re: Especially for newly diagnosed - Dealing with Change

PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:30 pm
by streamteamer
Thank you for the paper on accepting change. Yap, I was upset that I had to go on CPAP. My husband had UPPP back in 1997. It didn't work and it made his apnea worse from moderatly severe to severe. I saw what he had to go through... But I also saw how it helped him. Before I even went in for my second sleep study -titration study I had accepted that this would be what I would have to do. I even looked forward to getting my machine. I brought it home, set it up and took a nap right away...And felt a positive difference.