ameriken and Dojers,Dojers wrote:Whew - I was afraid I was unusual in that I didn't experience any of the symptoms either but I think this is a good post - and I've bookmarked it so when I come up on someone who is new to SA I can send 'em to that writing. I'm a Born-Again Believer so I really appreciated the write-up myself.ameriken wrote:Hi everyone, I'm brand new to this forum as well as a mask and machine. Though, I must be strange because I did not experience the above phases, I jumped right to acceptance. When I got the diagnosis, I was relieved. My wife and I were initially worried that I might have alzheimers or some other kind of irreversible and untreatable illness.The emotional phases we go through are shock, denial, depression, and acceptance.
But I was scared that I was "weird" (well, I am but that's beside the point LOL ) so it's nice to know I'm not the only one who went to immediate acceptance. It made me feel like maybe I could finally start sleeping without fear of suffocating which I had a fear of since I was small and as far as I know, since birth. And I'm hoping that at some point I'll be able to drop the sleeping pills (which I have already but I still don't sleep well) permanently.
I'm glad you were able to accept the CPAP solution so readily. I believe I wrote in the paper that we will experience the four phases in varying degrees, some more intently than others, meaning both people and the phases. So in that context I'm not in a position to say your experience of the first three phases wasn't at or near zero. I really believe though, if you look back through the entire process you went through, even well before you knew sleep apnea and CPAP were existent, you will find that you did experience those emotions in some fashion or another somewhere along the way. But then again, maybe not.
On the other hand consider this. You may have unknowingly experienced some depression during the time before your diagnosis, albeit fairly mild or more in the sense of questioning why you had lack of energy or were always so sleepy, or whatever. Then when you got the diagnosis and the answer that a CPAP would 'fix' the problem I'll bet you experienced at least some mild and very pleasant shock. The sudden 'aha' moment may itself have been a bit of a shock in a good sense.
All this is to say that whatever and however you experienced your emotions, you are OK. We all go through this experience in a different way, and in our own way. It may be an interesting exercise to sit back and review the last several months, or years, and think about what kind of emotions you went through along the way. You may just surprise yourself at realizing what all did happen.
Anyway, good luck in your CPAP venture, and God bless. And in whatever way my paper helped, I am grateful. Knowing it has helped you, and others, makes it quite worthwhile having taken the time to write it. Your kind words make me feel good. Thank you.