Twas Months After Sleep Study
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:26 am
Twas months after Sleep Study, when all through the house
No one was snoring, well maybe my spouse
My hose was scrunchied to the wall with care
To let me suck in that precious night air
The mask strapped tightly around my head
Looking like an alien abductee I lay in my bed
I started my quest for that perfect nap
My first time I ever tried the CPAP
After flipping the switch there was quite a commotion
Soon having second thoughts on this people pumping notion
With a cough and sputter and one mighty wheeze
My new found bed partner started its breeze
As water trickles down from the mountain into a stream
I drifted off to sleep, perchance even to dream
In my minds eye a movie soon was played
I was the latest balloon in Macy’s big parade
High in the sky of crisp winter weather
Tied to the earth by one single tether
Above the multitudes heart full of song
Not an inkling had I of what could go wrong
So buoyed was I by this wondrous inflation
I hardly noticed the growing lilt of flatulation
At first whisper quiet then it soon started to grow
Building and building to a blatting crescendo
In the fabric of me a hole was evidently rent
With escape of air like that of gastric embarrassment
My handlers let loose and I was no longer earth bound
I wooshed into the air with a whoopee cushion sound
Like a big party favor I started to fly
Whizzing and zooming all over the sky
I heard myself exclaim before I flew out of sight
“CPAP is good, but don’t eat pepperoni at night!”
No one was snoring, well maybe my spouse
My hose was scrunchied to the wall with care
To let me suck in that precious night air
The mask strapped tightly around my head
Looking like an alien abductee I lay in my bed
I started my quest for that perfect nap
My first time I ever tried the CPAP
After flipping the switch there was quite a commotion
Soon having second thoughts on this people pumping notion
With a cough and sputter and one mighty wheeze
My new found bed partner started its breeze
As water trickles down from the mountain into a stream
I drifted off to sleep, perchance even to dream
In my minds eye a movie soon was played
I was the latest balloon in Macy’s big parade
High in the sky of crisp winter weather
Tied to the earth by one single tether
Above the multitudes heart full of song
Not an inkling had I of what could go wrong
So buoyed was I by this wondrous inflation
I hardly noticed the growing lilt of flatulation
At first whisper quiet then it soon started to grow
Building and building to a blatting crescendo
In the fabric of me a hole was evidently rent
With escape of air like that of gastric embarrassment
My handlers let loose and I was no longer earth bound
I wooshed into the air with a whoopee cushion sound
Like a big party favor I started to fly
Whizzing and zooming all over the sky
I heard myself exclaim before I flew out of sight
“CPAP is good, but don’t eat pepperoni at night!”