Help - CPAP is ruining my job and my relationship!

[larry63]

Things have got to a criticall point and I don't know what to do.

Unfotortnately, I seem to be one of those where the side effects of CPAP therarapy
drown out the benefits. I've been at it for two months, and I am now in serious trouble with my work
because me average work hours per week are seriously down, and now lately my relationship
status is is in jeparoardy beccase since wearing the mask I've been been transformed from a friendy funny guy, to
a grumpy old man who can't remember converstations from the night before and who sleeps through dates.

To me the obvious solution is to simply stop using CPAP till I can get in touch with specialists who can resolve the issue.
However, this brings up compliance problems. If it takes me two months say, to get in with a new chain of doctors,
is my typiical USA insurance going to be okay with me telling them that I haven't been using my xPAP for the last month
because duh, I actually want to have a chance at still keeping my job, and that it really _is_ a quality of live
issue when my GF threatens to leave me unless I stop wearing the damn mask or otherwise get it sorted out?

This sucks. How do you explain to your exployer and your SO that the reason that you're grumpy, forgetful, confusing dreams
ith reality, and likely to be found fast asleep during the day at a moment's notice, is actually a treatment that is
supposed to IMPROVE your health, not make the symptoms worse.

?
I'm actuall worried less about my employer (although I'm still freaking out about my lack of productive hourse and that I've been less then
even 40 hours per week at work since "on the hose".)

\\\I'm mostly worried that my GF is going do dump me, which is entirely understandable under the curmumstances.

After all I seduced her (:-)) before CPAP when life whas normal and I had my normal personalality. For example, when I talked to
someonone - anywhone on the phone before bed-time, I would pre-cpap whould usually remembeber talking to them and
would have written down

But now that I've started CPAP therarapy, naturarally my personilty has changed for the worse, which is is obviously
true for anyone who submis to xPap

[chunkyfrog]

Hang in there: many of the folks in this forum have been there before you.
It really does get better. Don't give up. There are effects that many of us did not expect; but the rewards wait for the persistent.

[cobra4x4]

This is a normal occurence as the body adjusts to something new (sleep). It is very normal around the 4 to 6 week mark to start feeling worse (even worse than before starting cpap), It truly does get better in time.
Its your health and its very important to your overall future well being to have this treatment therefore your loved ones should be happy that your looking after your health so you can be with them in the long term, they need to understand that you need to do this now so they have you around later in life.

If they truly love you then they will support you as you would do for them.

As for your employer ... Talk to them and explain what your doing with respect to your health and what some of the side affects are so they too understand. You can always have a doctor write a note explaining your sleep deprivation issues and that you are on ongoing treatment which may affect your work from time to time as your body adjusts.

[dave21]

Well....your personalilty shouldn't change by going on CPAP. What are the side effects you are experiencing?

You should be feeling better from CPAP, less tired etc. Personally I wouldn't stop the CPAP therapy I would try to get answers, try to work around any side effects. By stopping CPAP Therapy depending on how bad your Sleep Apnea is, you might not last another two months off therapy. Is that really worth the risk? It might sound a little harsh but for some it can be the reality.

If you have other side effects other than your perception of your personality changing, please post here and we'll try to help.

What you might be experiencing is if you've had CPAP for so long, the job you have could be a pain and now you're getting therapy perhaps you're seeing it for what it is? Just a stab in the dark without knowing what other side effects you have.

Thanks
Dave

[brazospearl]

larry, honey, bless your heart! I'm so sorry things are going badly for you.

Not sure how treatment for OSA works under job-protection regulations, but it might be worth talking to your bosses/HR/whoever straight up and explain what your situation is. Comparing OSA to diabetes, for instance, would you be in trouble at work for struggling to control blood sugar with new medication? Don't know what sort of work you do, but I bet there's a way to buy some time, professionally, while you work out these issues.

Has your girlfriend read this forum to find out what's going on with you? Her support would certainly be helpful, and some knowledge on her part might help generate some patience with your current situation.

It sounds like your therapy is currently less than effective which probably means some adjustments need to be made. What does your data show? What are your settings? Have you spoken with your doctor about what's happening? Please tell us what the data indicates so we can do more than just commiserate. With more info we can be a lot more helpful.

[Goofproof]

No software to find out how his treatment is doing, Nasal mask, with no way to tell how bad his mouthbreathing is. Enough DeNile backing up, that could be converted to hydro-electric power, he could run all the XPAP's in the world with power to spare. A girl friend that doesn't care if he is healthy, as long as the party's still on.

Changes need to be made, or you will have to learn the backstroke too. Jim

XPAP treatment works when done right, you are the one that must decide if you want to do it right.

[Junebug999]

hang in there larry -- don't give up -- check with your doctors, don't be too hard on yourself.

[Breathe Jimbo]

Larry, you have started several threads on essentially the same subject. Numerous, specific suggestions have been made in the other threads. Have you followed up by, for example, determining your settings and getting at your data? You need to follow up as repeatedly suggested elsewhere!

Look at the helpful suggestions in this thread which you started:

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=56451&p=529665#p529473

and in this one, too:

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=56468&p=529686#p529686

The problem is your sleep disorder, not CPAP per se.

[Kevin G.]

The bottom line is that we use the machine to make us feel better. You do not blindly take medication if you have complications. If this is screwing up your life put things into perspective.

Going off the machine for two months will not kill you in spite of what the fear mongers say. If you were falling asleep while driving or operating machinery at work that may be another thing but then you would have to reorganize your life to deal with that. It might have an impact on your life span but it is likely that if it is just two months the impact will be small.

What about the CPAP is causing the problems? It may be that adjustments to your machine will help. This forum can help you to understand how to adjust the machine.

When I got my ResMed S9 the EPR and other settings were turned off and I was not a happy camper. Rather than waiting for a chance to see the RT I found out how to adjust the machine and had quick improvement.

Doctors often are able to see patients that have immediate needs. Call the doctors office and ask if you can get an earlier appointment. Let them know that you ccould come in if there is a cancelation.

[tony72]

if your"girlfriend"leaves you because of osa,it will be HER loss not yours...1 less thing to stress over.

[pbach]

My first thought is have a follow up with your physician. You guys can go over they data. See that the CPAP is meeting your needs. And make sure nothing else is going on.

[chunkyfrog]

We must be done here; the 'patient has left. . .

[larry63]

Ok people, first of all I'm very sorry for all the grumpiness and pessimism. I have been following up a bit
off line so to speak, because it's very obvious that I imediately need to do something about this problem.
I slept the whole day away today (without the mask, because it happened sponteously). It's not very fun to wake up on a
Sunday morning with lots of plans, then make the mistake of resting in bed for a while and then wake up at 7 pm.
I'm tired (pun intended) of sleeping my weekends a away.

Anyhow, I seem to have got some criticism from you people that I do nothing but complain, but I have followed up on
a few things:

1) got the software (whith questional legality) for my limited data-providing CPAP pump. Noticed a large leak rate, reported it
to the DME - didn't really get a response other than as long as it didn't go over 60 LPM leak rate, it was doing its job.
2) Watched the resmed video for my Swift-fx and learned that unlike my DME tech said (or didn't notice),
the nasal pillows aren't supposed to be stuffed entely in your nostrils. Watching the resmed video online was a major
revalation..
3 ) Tried Lanolin (not sure if it helps or not)
4)) Read and took advice about keeping a nasal mask as loose as possibl
5))) Asked about why my Fisher Paykel pump is registering such a large leak rate when I can't detect any leaks.
Evn with my mouth taped shut, and before I go to sleep, and when I look at the date using my questionable obtained software,
the CPAP machine shows a large leak (like 50 LPM when my mask indicates that it should be only 34LPM. Doesn't make sense because I can
feel on leak from any of the connections.
6) Taped my mouth shut for three nights. Interestingly it did reduce the reported leak by on tow of the three nights by about 5 LPM.
But I think perhaps that I might have felt a bit better, and the interesting thing is that I found out I did try to open my mouth one night
because I was dreaming that I was eating Indian food and woke up because I felt the pressure that my mouth was trying to open against the tape.
That was really weird because I thought that during dreaming, all muscles were paralisied except for eyes... But maybe the mouth trying to
open triggered the dream, rather than then the dream triggering the mouth trying to open... any way I digress.

Anyway, I'm sort of sorry for complaining, but then again not so sorry. But then again, there are a few very important things I haven't done:

This is what I am going to do tommorow (Monday): (BTW I have a wonderful GF because she left me an ultumatum Make some calls tommorow (monday) or we're through).

1) Call a local DME which seems to specialise in xPAP. My sincere aplogies to that person, but today my laptop died.
I will publicly congratulate this helpful person once I can acess my archived email folder again.

2) Attempt to contact my primary physician for a referal to a sleep specialist. The doctor that initially referred meto
the sleep study is an ENT. Granted, given my still existing tonsils, and big and floppy whatever-you-call it she has
been a help, and I actually commend here for first recommending xPAP as the "gold standard" or treatment.

Whish me luck guys and ladies, and I'm sorry for coming across as a whiner.

[larry63]

Larry, you have started several threads on essentially the same subject. Numerous, specific suggestions have been made in the other threads. Have you followed up by, for example, determining your settings and getting at your data? You need to follow up as repeatedly suggested elsewhere!

Look at the helpful suggestions in this thread which you started:

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=56451&p=529665#p529473

and in this one, too:

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=56468&p=529686#p529686

The problem is your sleep disorder, not CPAP per se.

Thanks Jimbo, It appears that I may have crashed or been half asleep. Some good advice there and I will read them again.

[happysleeper]

Larry,

Your last two plans are very good. Having a DME contact who is able to work knowledgeably with you on your CPAP is crucial, as is having a sleep specialist, not just an ENT.

Data capable machines are crucial too.

I've been on CPAP about a year now. The first couple of months things felt overwhelming, and I kept a log. At the end of each entry I wrote a list of what my next plans were, and then when I went in to write again, I reviewed what on my plan list I'd done, and what I wanted to move forward to my new plan list. This helped me to stay focused, and realize how much I had accomplished. Little things like soft hose covers, mask loosening and watching videos really made a cumulative difference over time, and I notice that you've been successful doing some of these. Hope your laptop is working well for you.

Good luck,

Happy Sleeper