Do you ever go a night without CPAP?

[unclematt]

I'm having a lady friend over this weekend overnight. We'll be sleeping together (in both meanings of that phrase, LOL). I'm afraid to introduce her to the CPAP at this point. She knows I use one but she's never seen or heard the noise of one of the machines. I'm afraid that she will start thinking about having to go through life sleeping next to someone with that awful noise making machine and she might drop me quickly before she falls head over heals for me. I would like to reach a point where she's so attached to me that she won't care about the machine.

[Autopapdude]

No, I don't do that--I feel that anyone that needs to accept me needs to accept my medical condition. So, I won't "not avail myself" of something that is a life necessity. Likewise, if I were diabetic, I would not refrain from using Insulin so as to get someone to "care about me" first. if she drops you due to a Cpap machine, then you two aren't meant to be together. IMHO, your therapy is far more important. Get your priorities straight on that one. Sorry to be "tough" on that one, but it is definitely more important to care about someone knowing all of the facts and physical conditions. Sleep Apnea is a fact of life.

Besides you could play "Darth Vader" and the Princess. The mask is great for a costume.

[elg5cats]

I'm having a lady friend over this weekend overnight. We'll be sleeping together I'm afraid to introduce her to the CPAP at this point......she's never seen or heard the noise of one of the machines. I'm afraid that she will start thinking about having to go through life sleeping next to someone with that awful noise making machine and she might drop me quickly before she falls head over heals for me.

Pull back and remove your head from your anal opening!!!! , If you elect not to use your CPAP, do you think your likely snoring and breathing lapses will be more appealing and encouraging of the relationship? Does she want to consider going through life with poor sleep quality because of you not using your machine and disrupting her sleep....I think not.......so, both of you get some sleep, use your machine...also so you are rested for the next day as well. Machine shouldn't be scary, she's an adult and can have sleep apnea explained if she is unaware of sleep apnea. Also, may not want to be building a relationship on pretense. Fact is you use a CPAP, just like you brush your teeth, eat, pass gass, etc...........so be truthful and upfront.....no secrets about CPAP, shouldn't be necessary.

elg5cats

[Muse-Inc]

Quit thinking like an adolescent; she's either into you or not. If she can't handle CPAP, she's not a candidate for a long-term relationship that's for sure.

EDIT: No way I'd sleep with xPAP, I value being alive too much!

[JayC]

Ditto......

You likely make more noise snoring than the machine' motor and the mask's exhaust...combined!!

I am grouchy after an impromptu 20 min unplanned nap in the chair with no mask.....no way will I EVER CHOOSE to skip masking up!!!

(Sleep is so sacred and has been so elusive most of my life, I likely would have separate bed or separate room if in a relationship in future.....I'll get my hugs and snuggles and such during waking hours and sleep during sleep!! )

J

[Greybeard]

Since folks seem to want to tell you how to run your life instead of answering your question, I'll try. Been on CPAP over 3 months and have not gone a night without it, but have taken the mask off as early as 3:00 am (mostly due to mouth breathing) with no apparent ill effects.

Go for it! With any luck you will be too busy to sleep

[bcab17]

Right on, Greybeard.

Hey Unclematt, there's nothing adolescent about your hesitance to use the cpap on a first night with someone. It seems like a very normal feeling to me. Those here who are preaching the "man up and just do it" philosophy sound pretty tough, and while I respect their fortitude, it just may not be that simple for some people. I am someone who "needs" my cpap every night, but if I were in your situation I too would think twice about using it.

As your relationship moves forward, of course you will need to see that she is ok with your cpap...but for the first night? Well, perhaps when the time comes for sleep you could casually mention that you hope she doesn't mind some snoring since you won't be using the cpap. You just might find that she's cool about it, and replies something like "don't be silly...use the cpap, and let's both get some sleep."

Good luck, relax and have fun!

[birdshell]

I cannot sleep without my CPAP. I keep thinking of the effects of NOT using my CPAP and it isn't comforting at all. So, I don't ever want to be without my machine.

I think that your CPAP is a GREAT screening tool to see if the SO is worthy of you! If she balks at it, you will have some important information, won't you?

And, even if she doesn't suffer from sleep disordered breathing herself, chances are that she knows someone else who may. Her experience with you may indirectly save someone else's life, if she shares her experiences with your CPAP and improved sleep.

Karen,
Whose CPAP may forever 'blow'

Have a great night!

[ozij]

Since you shared your plans, I assume the mear fact of did we, or did we not stop using cpap once is not the real issue behind your question.

I would like to reach a point where she's so attached to me that she won't care about the machine.

Don't use the cpap as a test of how much she loves you. I can imagine a situation where she cares very very much about you, but can't tolerate your cpap machine for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Will you accept a life of loving in which the two of you don't spend all night in the same bed or room? Or are you going to use CPAP as a test for any relationship, as in: "if you won't sleep next to me nightly when I use the cpap you don't really love me?".

O.

[JayC]

gee.....that exchange makes it sound like a cpap is an just an anti-snore machine....!!

[kteague]

I'm with those who say to sleep safe and be who you are every other night, but then again, I haven't been faced with that situation since starting on cpap, so it's easy for me to say. (Don't know if that should be a or a ) Does discussing it with her beforehand sound like a bad idea for any reason? You can minimize the uncomfortableness by letting her go to sleep before donning the gear, but she may be too nervous herself to sleep well. She already knows you use one and hasn't cancelled on you, so that's a good sign. I think it's natural to explore all the "what ifs" when entering a new situation. And your game plan to win her first is kinda cute. But you'll figure it out. For me, I'd choose sleeping with a man using cpap over a snorer any time, but I've already been desensitized to the equipment. I think most of us would have concerns of some sort in a new situation like that. I have a friend who is a real looker but she's avoiding an old suitor who wants to reconnect because she's gained maybe 10 pounds and is self conscious. Who knows, this friend of yours likely has some concerns of her own.

[Bigburd2008]

Personally, I would not go a night with out my hose. My wife even sleeps better than when I snored. The only drawback I can think of is the mask exhaust. This can aggravate the other person. Wish you well.

[CiresWrossed]

I think this concern is fairly common. When I was at my DME to get my machine a guy in the lobby was returning his machine and he implied it was because he had a new girlfriend. I think he said something like, "I'll be back once I am single again."

[Autopapdude]

Right on, Greybeard.

Hey Unclematt, there's nothing adolescent about your hesitance to use the cpap on a first night with someone. It seems like a very normal feeling to me. Those here who are preaching the "man up and just do it" philosophy sound pretty tough, and while I respect their fortitude, it just may not be that simple for some people. I am someone who "needs" my cpap every night, but if I were in your situation I too would think twice about using it.

As your relationship moves forward, of course you will need to see that she is ok with your cpap...but for the first night? Well, perhaps when the time comes for sleep you could casually mention that you hope she doesn't mind some snoring since you won't be using the cpap. You just might find that she's cool about it, and replies something like "don't be silly...use the cpap, and let's both get some sleep."

Good luck, relax and have fun!

YEAH RIGHT! Sacrifice your health for vanity. How ludicrous! IF someone can't accept you for the person you are, then it is time to look for someone who will. I'd NEVER think twice about my Cpap use and impressing someone. How about going to the next step of stupidity? Get plastic surgery to make sure you look like Brad Pitt. Then, the girl will be sure to go for you--isn't that the same logic? If you can't be who you are, then perhaps you are the one not ready for a relationship. it isn't a question of "manning up--" it is a question of health and well-being sacrificed to impress a member of the opposite sex. If you had a prosthetic leg, would you be shy about wearing it, lest people think you have a disability? Be grateful that you're under treatment, and look for a woman who understands.

[Georgio]

The cpap is a real "plus" attracting the opposite sex because of the "sympathy factor". You will attract "giver" types which is the kind you want anyway!

Go for it! (And never go a night without cpap.)

Seriously, cpap patients have expired attempting a night without their therapy.

Georgio