The long term effects of sleep deprivation on my career

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 4:02 pm

Not sure if I should share this on this forum or not, but I feel like I should share it with someone who might understand.

For a few years the quality and quantity of my work has been sliding. In hindsight, it is almost certainly linked to sleep apnea and resulting sleep deprivation. In the past 9 months it has become so bad that if it were another employee I'd probably fire them, but I'm one of the partners so my job was safe. Sort of.

I was just forced to effectively take a demotion. A director who once reported to me is being promoted to VP of Engineering and my position is being reshuffled so I'll report to him. I don't always get along well with this person either.

I was too tired to argue about it or even feel angry.

WAFlowers · Post by **WAFlowers** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 4:04 pm

That was from me. For some reason the system decided to not log me in automatically this time.

yawn · Post by **yawn** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 4:40 pm

Bill....I'm so sorry . Have you talked to the other partners about how you've been feeling? Maybe they don't understand that you have a medical issue that you're working to resolve. I'm sure it hurts to be demoted but maybe things will get better once you start feeling better. I hope they didn't change your salary too. Don't worry about your job, focus on treating your OSA and once you're feeling better, I would think your job situation would get better too. Hang in there!!

Swordz · Post by **Swordz** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 5:13 pm

Things will come in time if you get a treatment that works for you. I can only imagine the toll that situation is having on your life.

Sleep apnea def sucks and is affecting all I do. I'm so ready for my treatment to work, but I'm starting to doubt CPAP for me personally. I'm gonna start looking @ Pillar/TAP treatment together.

In all you do and all that happens, know that you are not alone and everyone on this board can relate. We in a since are your "extended family'. Use us in any way you can and let us know what's going on.

Way too many times I'd almost given up, and then I'd come hear to read. I'd say many people, including myself, can never tell the sincerely thankfullness we have for this site.

tomjax · Post by **tomjax** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 5:36 pm

Want to hear a real story on the effects of slep apnea on a persons career?
Check mine out. Bet it beats yours.

http://www.sleepnet.com/snooze6.htm

i lost my pharmacy license due to the ignorance of psychiatrists.
These Bastards are powerful.

maybe this explains my occasional crankiness.
thought for the day:
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

sleepy gal · Post by **sleepy gal** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 5:48 pm

Bill, I am so saddened to hear what is happening to you at work, and Tomjax, your story is a true nightmare.

I can relate to both of you in terms of how OSA affects you at work, but I had the option of retiring and did so. But it is unbelievable how hard it is to continue working, thinking and making rational decisions when you are so bone tired that you can barely stay awake.

I was a human services supervisor....supposed to offer assistance and support to my case managers....could hardly stay awake to listen to their concerns. When I also realized that they were "covering" for me when I forgot to do things or couldn't find things, I decided that it was time to go.

But I was lucky, I could make the decision. You two are at the mercy of others, and clearly others who haven't a clue about how OSA can impair your abilities and how badly you need support and treatment.

I don't know what the law is, but it seems to me that OSA should be covered under the Disabilities Act....probably isn't, but should be.

I can only hope that others with OSA may read some of these posts and realize that perhaps they can deal with their employment situations with a more positive outcome.

Good luck to you both!

dsm · Post by **dsm** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:45 pm

WAFlowers wrote:That was from me. For some reason the system decided to not log me in automatically this time.

Bill,

I have been down the same path. I was becoming quite worried about my future in a highly paid role that requires me to set the pace & lead.

I was begining to avoid responsibility because I felt I might be too foggy in the head or tired to do a good job. In effect I was begining to avoid ownership of things I should be responsible for. I didn't really know what was happening & began to fear that I was just aging faster than expected. It really was getting me down.

Since going on CPAP, the tiredness has gone, the energy is back. My confidence just took off. I no longer fear moving up rather than feeling comfortable going down. I may actually have an interesting side story to add in this area, in a couple of weeks.

Also, I find my self looking for things to do at home on the weekend (rather than watching lots of cable tv and 'resting' - I just don't have time to be dozing any more).

I hope this gives you heart

DSM

(PS am probably older than you are & have only been on CPAP 3 weeks - I WOULD NOT NOW TRY TO SLEEP EVEN 1 NIGHT WITHOUT IT - OSA wins every time)

_________________

CPAPopedia Keywords Contained In This Post (Click For Definition): CPAP

gracie97 · Post by **gracie97** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:03 pm

http://www.sleepnet.com/snooze6.htm

i lost my pharmacy license due to the ignorance of psychiatrists.

How awful!!!

I have a bit of first-hand experience with that sort of phenomenon: About 20 years ago, during a bout of depression, a shrink apparently carelessly added 'fudge factors' on top of 'fudge factors' about how much I tend to drink -- little and only socially as I'm not very fond of booze -- and decided that I was an alcoholic! She wrote it in my medical records and demanded that I go to group meetings for alcoholics!

(I think she added the fudge factors because I casually mentioned that while in college I'd kept a bottle of wine by my bed for a while -- an early attempt at treating lifelong insomnia problems that I abandoned after a month or so as I discovered wine wasn't a good sleeping med after all.)

As you've learned, getting such incorrect diagnoses eliminated is next to impossible. When I expressed astonishment at the diagnosis, I was told that I was in denial! I finally changed insurance carriers to escape the diagnosis. In my case, with any luck, it may never come back to haunt me and the damage done is probably all long past. But I still feel it is a ticking time bomb that I can do nothing about.

Have you made any progress in getting that out of your records? Are you still fighting it?

gracie97 · Post by **gracie97** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:08 pm

I don't know what the law is, but it seems to me that OSA should be covered under the Disabilities Act....probably isn't, but should be.

Sleep apnea is covered by the Amercans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and one can request workplace accommodation for it.

I have an ADA accommodation for my several sleep disorders (a somewhat later start time than my co-workers have) and know of one other employee in my workplace who also has an ADA accommodation for apnea (not sure of the details of his).

WAFlowers · Post by **WAFlowers** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 8:13 pm

People, thanks for all your kind words and concerns. However at this point I'm not sure that they made the wrong decision, nor am I convinced that it is the right decision.

As the 3rd largest shareholder I do know that something had to be done to unify the engineering group and that I wasn't the one to do it. The issue is complicated as we (my partners and I) bought another company last summer and are merging them with us.

I started to go downhill about the time we were in negotiations for the buy. Just about the worst timing possible.

A week from now I hope to have a clearer insight on this, along with a hopefully clearer head. I see the doc on Tuesday and get my prescription then.

gracie97 · Post by **gracie97** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 9:51 pm

A week from now I hope to have a clearer insight on this, along with a hopefully clearer head. I see the doc on Tuesday and get my prescription then.

Don't get discouraged if you don't feel better or even feel a bit worse for the first few days of treatment: REM-rebound, that makes most people feel a bit draggy and down at first.

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Sat Jul 30, 2005 12:11 am

Bill,
I'm sorry to hear that, I know it feels dreadful.
Things will feel better once your apnea is treated - I'm not sure a week is enough, but it will get much better, and you'll be able to contribute to the firm the way you used to, and want to.

O.

sir_cumference · Post by **sir_cumference** » Sat Jul 30, 2005 2:31 am

Bill, you're at the point where (to use a building analogy) the wall has fallen over and the bricks of your life are scattered all around. But, as your OSA starts to respond to treatment, you will find that quite rapidly the bricks start to be put back in place. In fact, its not too long into your recovery that you begin to realise just how ill you have been because its only with the advantage of hindsite that you can get a real perspective of the cost OSA has been to you personally and all those you love.

THen, as energy starts to stream back into your veins, you then need to learn how to manage you health - not to overdo it and allow your body to go through the process of healing and restoration. Rush it, and in the long run it will take longer!

As for the cost of the illness, in time you will have to come to terms with that, and the best way to deal with it is to let it go - to chalk it up to illness and to start again. What's past is past, but the future ... that's another country!

I too have had to pay a really high price because of OSA, and I guess I could be bitter about it, especaily as my treatment is being so successful and I can see all that I could have done and the apparently wasted years. But at the same time, I can be thankful that my perspective on life is very different to how it would have been if I had never been ill. My relationship with my family have taken on a dimension that they never would if I'd always been healthy. If you look hard enough, there are blessings even in the darkest hours.

Lastly, as a Christian, I was tempted to be very angry with God because of my illness and the lost years - but for me, being ill has helped me to understand how much He cares for me and loves me, no matter how useless I am. I guess I've learnt that God loves me not because of what I can do, but because of what I am - His child. <- I know, enough preaching!!
sir_cumference

WAFlowers · Post by **WAFlowers** » Sat Jul 30, 2005 3:37 pm

Thanks people. I got a decent nights sleep (considering the OSA arousals) last night so I'm a bit more clear-headed and alert today -- enough to feel safe using power tools (see below).

Yeah, this is close to bottom for me but I know that if I'm at the bottom things can only improve. (OK, I'm not totally at the bottom so there is room for my life to get worse, but I don't think it will.) I'm a fighter not a quitter and I've clawed my way to the top before (VP Research despite dropping out part way through 2nd year of University). What I've got going for me is the knowlege that once I get my health issues under control that I can do more than any 3 other people combined in the software department! Plus there is no one who can come close to my ability to design new algorithms!

Don't count me out yet; I'm coming back!

(OK, the above may sound conceited but it's true and I'm fightin' mad! That's a good thing though.)

And as a fellow Christian I know that God doesn't give me more than I can handle. However he sometimes gives me more than I think I can handle! Just proves that I'm not God.

While I felt good today (after 9 hours of better sleep than I've had in a while -- still not great, but I'll take what I can get) I decided to use it. I modified an old desktop to work as a desk for my daughter who is entering college. It now spans from a shelf on her bookcase to her night table, standing on legs at each end. Interesting design!

Then I built a "balance board" for my wife to strengthen her ankles and knees as prescribed by her chiropracter.

Then I took my car (one of two Miatas I own) and my daughter's car to the tire place. She had a slow leak and I had picked up a screw. Temporarily I had my tire plugged but they are worn down to the wear bars so I'm ordering a set of Toyo Proxes T1-R (as if anyone here cares).

To make matter worse my other Miata also needs new tires. And this is just a month after having to buy a new air conditioner (aka heat pump) system for the house and just before I'm about to purchase a CPAP and masks.

It doesn't rain but it pours!

Now I think I'll go take a shower because I'm sweaty and covered in sawdust. (I know, TMI)

BTW, in recognition of my woodworking interest (completed 3 of a 4 year furniture making course before I moved to FL) and otherwise geekiness my email userid is "woodgeek".

snamvar · Post by **snamvar** » Sat Jul 30, 2005 5:18 pm

I can definitely understand the feeling and how the brain fog affects your performance and self-esteem. Along with OSA, I have Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome where my sleep/wake cycle is deleyed (3-11 am), so having had to start work at 9 am has been a nightmare. I thank god about being diagnosed and treated for both these conditions.
I realy think that once you treat the OSA and alertness comes back, you are on your way of rebuilding the self-esteem that got affected.
Best wishes.

The long term effects of sleep deprivation on my career

The long term effects of sleep deprivation on my career

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