Attn Newbies: your brain may be fried.....

[carbonman]

...and you don't know it.

OSA does come on gradually and we become accustomed to it as being 'normal' for us. If you read much here you will see the very same pattern over and over and over again when the new folks come here GumbyCT

......holy Ambien, Batman, I need some sleep,
diagnosed w/OSA,
given an inadequate, barebones cpap,
need to get a data capable cpap.

We all feel tired and fatigued....but it is the gradual destruction that happens so slowly
that we don't realize how much damage is done. It clouds our cognitive abilities and
and dulls our decision making abilities.
There is so much information and so much to learn when we walk out of the sleep study.
There are so many decisions that need to be made, and we are at a disadvantage.
No wonder it's like shooting ducks in a barrel for the DME to fleece us.
I know, I was a duck in the barrel once.

I was very fortunate that I "got it" so quickly, w/a little help from a green rubber man.

In the year before I was diagnosed w/OSA, I had just about quit playing my guitars,
because my coordination, endurance and cognitive functions were so degraded,
it was just not any fun. I didn't know why my abilities were going away.
I was about to sell the guitars.
After 7mths on the hose, I'm back to playing almost everyday.
I am remembering and playing tunes I thought I had forgotten.
It's fun again and I see and hear improvement everyday.

Be aware that you are working w/a disability, admitted or not.
Read, read and re-read the advise you receive here.
Be kind to yourself as you begin your cpap journey.
Take it as you can, you can't learn it all over night.
Be patient in learning to deal w/your mask and learning a new way to sleep.
Check, check and triple check if you're not sure about a decision.

Your brain will come back to life and it will eventually thank you.

[elader]

and we all say 'amen'

severe short term memory loss, chronic fatigue, waking up exhausted, night sweats, no desire to do anything, weight gain, chronic night heartburn

But if you would have asked me, I wuold have told you I was sleeping pretty well. In fact i was sleeping 10 hours a night.

[kteague]

How right you are Carbonman! One thing that was disconcerting to me was how often I thought I had a clear picture of some situation then found out I had all the details wrong. My brain slipped in and out of sleep all the time and I must have been filling in the blanks on my own, but I was so SURE I had the stories as they'd happened. After a few awkward times it made me unsure about everything I thought I knew.

Learning to be patient with myself was hard. I was supposed to be smarter, sharper, more energetic, more capable - I didn't know this stranger and didn't want to get to know her. I wish I had treated myself more gently along the way, rather than push, push, push till I crashed. No other way to describe it other than a total collapse.

Getting on track with my cpap treatment literally saved my life. When I hear people talk about giving up on cpap it makes me shudder because I have lived and continue to live with the consequences of years of untreated apnea.

So to those who are just beginning, do be kind to yourselves. You deserve it.

[jda1000]

And all the people said, "Amen."

This should be required reading before strapping the first mask on for the first time.

[Victoria]

Thanks for the great, encouraging post!

[Joy_Of_Sleep]

It's so amazing to see how much you all can describe what I've been going through without having met me. The weight gain, lack of energy, basically walking through my life asleep. "Sleeping" 10-12 hours a night, and getting up exhausted, taking 5 hour naps when I could. Yet, after only just over 2 weeks of therapy, I can already see so much difference! I can't wait to get back to work and see how I do. My team was satisfied with my performance when I was functioning as the walking dead, only about 10% of my capability. They should be really impressed now.

My fried brain is recovering, but I've only just started. I look forward to getting better and better, with the support of my family and resources like this forum!

[gapwedge]

My apnea became apparent to me about a 1 year ago when I began to pack on the weight. I went quickly from 220 to 260. I had the same symptoms beginning to appear as many of you have described. I tossed and turned all night fighting to fall sleep. My only sleeping position that was anywhere near satisfactory was on my right side. On my back and left side my snoring and apnea were at their peak. I would wake up during the night sweating. I would wake up sometimes absolutely gasping for air. I would wake up sometimes 2 ro 3 times to use the bathroom. I woke up tired. I would take extended naps during my lunch hour since I had the convienence to come home for lunch just to make it through the day. It got to the point toward the end of 2008 that I self admitted myself to our local sleep center. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I did not need a doctor's diagnosis to tell me what I already knew. Little did I know what was happening inside my body. The elevated blood pressure during the time when it should be at its lowest. Waking with a resting pulse over 80 bpm. Drinking coffee to get me going in the morning which further kept my BP on the rise. It got to the point where I did not want to go to bed because I knew what was going to happen again. To think my oxygen saturation levels during the night would drop in the 70% range scared me. I was frying my brain, my heart, and my other organs.
My wife still to this day (beginning the second month on a CPAP) does not understand what is happening behind the scenes so to speak. She still thinks it is just an expensive way to stop snoring. She will get educated as time goes by and I have to be patient with her during this time. Having to go to bed with a facemask and a strange noise is tough for her to get used to and now she is losing sleep. Yes, I have added some white noise by using a small fan and I sleep on my right side facing away from her so that is helping.
The more I research sleep apnea the more it frightens me. There are so many people like me who are fighting this that are not aware of a potential major health problem waiting to happen. More information has to be made available to educate. More research needs to be done.
Luckily for me I adapted to using a nasal mask and the machine very easily. I got a good machine upfront and a good mask fit. My AI is still 0.0 and my AHI is 1.6 or less on average and my leakeage is zero with an average pressure of 11-12. So, yes, I am lucky. Will the weight loss get me to a point where I can get off the machine? Maybe. But, until my apena hourly events average less than 5 I am not thinking that far ahead. I can be active now with full facilities on just 7 hours of sleep awaking alert and ready to go.
The side benefit is that my physical fitness level has begun to improve. I ride a bike and before I had a hard time putting in back to back hard rides. The second day ride would leave me exhausted and with no energy level and I would have to drop out and head back early letting the group continue. Now, I feel refreshed each day. I am also so looking foward to my golf season as well as I should be able to complete 18 holes without breaking my concentration half way through the round or quitting from just shear exhaustion. I should see my weight loss continue and hopefully I can get back to ideal weight of 190. I weigh 255 from a peak of 261.
I just turned 56 and for the first time I now look forward to enjoying the remaining years in the 50's and beyond. Life is good.

[jnk]

I knew within a few weeks that PAP therapy would change my life. But seven months after starting, I'm still frightened by how much I've changed, and am still changing. I am not the same person. I'm a lot more "me."

Sure, my body and brain had found ways to function all those years, but I estimate that I was running at about 40%, maybe less.

People in this forum told me I would need to give myself time to heal once I got used to the hose. But I was reading the word "heal" as meaning strictly physical healing. It has been the process of psychological healing has been the most interesting part of it for me.

You see, I didn't think I was at all depressed, or angry, or frustrated, or desperate--I just thought I was "tired." Now I look back and see how bad off I was in many ways. I wonder how close I came to dying in my sleep or how many times my clouded brain came close to making some stupid decision that would have gotten me killed some other way. And I wonder if in another six months or so, I'll look back and see it even more clearly.

My wife, my friends, and my workmates have been kind enough to give me some space to heal by lessening some of the stresses and responsibilities I was carrying before. I am grateful for that. I am trying to take advantage of this time by eating better, exercising more, and living better in general.

In the meantime, I am amazed by how much of who I am has changed. I love my wife more. I like my job better. My friends mean more to me. For that matter, I mean more to me! I have ended some relationships that I see now weren't good for me. I have reinvigorated other relationships that needed it. My preferences in foods have changed. My preferences in entertainment have changed. The world is a different place somehow.

It is scary to look back and not like who I've been, but it is interesting to look at who I am now and like myself better. And it is an oddly new concept to realize I may very well like myself even more in the future.

I owe a lot of that to PAP therapy.

Which means I owe a lot of that to you folks posting here at cpaptalk.com.

Thanks, guys and gals.

jeff

[tuna]

Yup short term memory loss! Now what were we talking about? :lol

[roster]

So true, Carbonman.

[MoneyGal]

This is such a timely thread for me. I got my diagnosis of severe sleep apnea less than a week ago, and I've had four nights so far of CPAP-assisted sleep (or perhaps I should write, "of actual sleep").

The difference between my life *before* CPAP and my life *after* CPAP is already dramatic. I said to my husband that it's as though I've been driving around with a dirty windshield, not knowing it was dirty, and then someone cleaned it. The whole world is brighter and more exciting, and I have so much more energy to take it on.

At the same time, I am looking back at the last two years through the lens of sleep deprivation. I didn't know my sleep was affected by anything. I'm not a typical sleep apnea patient (although I am sure that this group as a whole may put to rest the idea that there *is* a typical patient). I didn't have daytime sleepiness (that I was aware of); didn't fall asleep driving or watching tv.

But I struggled with everything. I would have to plan out even mundane tasks, because I had concerns I wouldn't have enough energy to handle them (we're talking mundane like changing the sheets on my bed). I had given up on going out late with friends. I planned my weekends carefully to not have too many activities. And my poor, poor husband and kids had grown used to a tired, irritable, overwhelmed mom who had difficulty making decisions and got upset with too many options, because I didn't have the mental stamina to work through complex scenarios.

And: I left two jobs and was laid off from another because I just couldn't hack it. I couldn't manage everything that was required of me.

It's like I am looking back and seeing the wreckage that sleep deprivation has wrought in my life. Like: WOW: that wasn't *me* that made that decision or produced that outcome, that was sleep apnea.

It is mind-blowing. I am just starting to get my head around it.

[bowfan]

...and you don't know it.

<snip>
We all feel tired and fatigued....but it is the gradual destruction that happens so slowly
that we don't realize how much damage is done. It clouds our cognitive abilities and
and dulls our decision making abilities.
Your brain will come back to life and it will eventually thank you.
<snip>

Thanks carbonman, and all others who contribute to the cpaptalk forums and threads like this one. Incredible amount of information, but I really appreciate the personal insight and viewpoints. Hopefully I will get the hang of it one day and feel the recovery of things lost that others are relating.
Still searching and reading.

[new user question]

anyone heard of a cpap company called http://www.cpapscience.com

[swcompassionate]

I am looking forward to having the more energy that others are talking about. I am wearing my mask every night and try to wear it all night most nights of the week but I am still waking up very tired. Wondering if I am leaking but I do not have a date machine to be able to know. Will keep working on it and I am not giving up. I know eventually I will start to feel more energy. Thanks for the encouraging post.

Maria

[nobody]

Mine has not come back. I have to take ritalin.